I love to take my girls out to dinner. It prevents me from having to cook, they get to have what they will actually eat and I get taken care of a little too. I soak up our dinners out and find that I really pay attention to what they say at the dinner table. Their sweet giggles, infectious smiles and glistening eyes makes me so grateful that I have three happy, healthy little girls.

Last night we were at a ‘fancier’ restaurant. We were the only ones there at first, as it was pretty early for most people’s dinner time. The girls and I chatted and enjoyed our Italian food. At the end of dinner, while waiting on the check, another family came in. It seems to be comprised of grandparents, a couple and a toddler boy. We finished up and headed out, the kids losing their ‘best restaurant manners’ as time went on.

Why is it Bad That I Don't Have a Boy?

As I passed by and waved hello, hoping to get out before my girls decided the mainly empty dining room was a play area, the older woman stopped me.

‘Are they all yours?’

Yes, of course. Why do people ask this?

‘That’s nice. Are you trying for the boy now?”

‘No, I am divorced. They are it.’

‘Ohhh, that’s too bad.’

Um…now, this can be interpreted in print several ways. She could have meant it was too bad that I am a single mom. We all know there is nothing ‘too bad’ about my divorce!!

Or, the intended meaning that I got was that it was ‘too bad’ that I was not going to ‘try for a boy’. The underlying meaning to me being that girls was not OK. Not ‘good enough’. A saddening thing in my life.

When did it become a bad thing not to have a boy?

If God had given me boys, I would have been perfectly happy with them. But truth be told, I prayed constantly for girls. I did not want another male from my ex’s family running around. You can probably guess why if you read my blog. So every time the ultrasound came back with girls, I was thrilled!

Now, years later, God gave me what I needed in my life. I can not imagine having a boy. Just as I am sure my friend that has 3 boys can not imagine having a girl.

The thing that bugs me about this woman’s comment, though, is that I get it ALL THE TIME!

At the store, at restaurants, in line at the movie theater – no place is off limits to ask me – in front of my girls, mind you – why I am not trying for a boy. When I explain that God gave me these gifts and I am blessed but now single and not having more children, thus the precious boy, I get that sad, cocked head to the side, look down at my girls with a sort of pity reaction, that drives me absolutely insane!

I try to suppress the question, ‘Why is it Bad That I Don’t Have a Boy?’ as I smile at my girls and try to change the topic to something more positive for them to hear.

With everything parents have to deal with today, why do we also have to defend the process of sperm meets egg and makes an inny or an outty? It is not as if we can help what we have. We can’t choose it. It is what it is.

And why is a single mom with three daughter’s missing out on something? I don’t feel that way at all! In fact, I feel like I have it all because I have them!

What do you think? Am I missing out in life because I don’t have a boy? And is it OK that people make these comments in front of my kids, thus possibly making them think they are not good enough because they are girls? I would love to hear your experiences and thoughts!