This morning I packed up my girls and headed over to my friends neighborhood pool so that that girls could play in their splash pad. We had so much fun watching the girls run in and out and play with their friends.
We then went to Taco Bell where Megan taught me that changing a swim diaper soon after getting out of the water is of major importance. Because I was wrangling three girls and the stuff of three girls, I forgot and she squatted and peed right in the middle of the restaurant. At lunch time.
A very proud mama moment.
After mopping the floor with the entire pack of napkins, we headed home.
I turned into our neighborhood, yet again happy we moved into a family friendly, private place where my kids could run and play despite the challenging year we have had.
Ahead of me was a boy riding his bike. He was maybe 12 years old. I noticed as he rode slowly and kind of zigzaggy that he was controlling the bike with one hand and had something in the other. From the back it looked like a puppy.
I love puppies so I looked as I drove by and saw something that was most certainly not a puppy.
In his hand he had a beer!
No, I am not kidding.
He had something over it obviously in an attempt to hide it, but it was a Shiner Boch beer – yellow label clearly seen.
He was not 21, and he had no adult with him that he could be ‘holding” it for, so I was shocked.
Because I am an “it take a village to raise a kid” kind of mom, I slowed immediately to watch what he was doing with a beer at 2pm on a summer day.
He noticed that I slowed down and so did he. But I did continue to the next Stop sign. My intention was to roll down my window and ask him why he had a beer and then take it from him, hopefully instilling a little dose of fear to help prevent him from taking another one.
Well, he outsmarted me, and I watched as he nervously passed my passenger side window right as I was rolling down the window, looking back at me every few seconds.
I gunned my gas, u -turned, and headed back down the street he had turned on. He was no where to be found.
From teenage experience, I assumed he was hiding in between houses, hard to do when the whole neighborhood is acre lots though, or had slipped behind a house that had no fence.
In any event, he had disappeared in a hurry. And he stayed hidden because I tried to outsmart him and come back around but I never saw him again.
Now I worry that he went and hid somewhere and drank that beer. Probably not his first one.
I began to wonder, though, would his parents have been upset with me for stopping him and taking the beer from him? Did I have a right to do that?
I decided yes basing it on my own desire as a parent. If that were my daughter, I would hope someone, anyone, everyone would stop and take that beer from her, give her a stern talking to, and then come and tell me every detail.
But what if his parents thought I should mind my own business? What if they had been upset that a stranger tried to step in and discipline, in a way, their son?
My husband thinks it was not my place because it was not even my friends child. I did not know him at all so I should have let it go.
I asked my neighbor what she thought and she said what I did. If it were her kid, she would want help in stopping him from drinking, at least, that beer. And she added that society as a whole does not step in enough with kids and that is why so many are out of control these days.
Because they know that no one will tell or discipline them out of fear of negative reprimand.
What do you think? Was I right in tracking this boy in a real attempt to take that beer? Or should I have hit the gas, forgotten what I saw, and just prayed I was wrong and it was really a beer shaped, yellow labeled Coke.
That he was clearly hiding.
In plain sight?
First of all, I want to say a big “thank you” for caring about him and for all who are around him who would be effected by his drinking. As a mother, I know that my kids won’t be in my eyesight 24-7 and I pray that people like you are around to hold him accountable for his choices. He was certainly old enough to know that his choice was wrong or he wouldn’t have hidden. I believe we, meaning society, need to watch out for all human beings. Thank you for caring. As a healthcare worker, unfortunately, I see kids like him and it’s sad that many people won’t get involved for the sake of keeping the peace and not making waves. If more people cared, we would have less problems in our society. I just makes sense.
Aww- thank you so much!! I can only hope that I worried him and maybe he threw the beer down and went home shaking in his boots a little. Other than that I wish I had slammed into reverse and forced him to show me what he had and give it to me. Hindsight. And I agree… I wish more people would take a chance and get involved! Most who do find it to be very rewarding in the end!
Growing up I knew there were people watching me everywhere I went! There were not only my parents but my friends parents and my parent’s friends and neighbors and teachers. They all had the right to bust me if they saw me step out of line and god forbid one of them report something back to my parents there would have been heck to pay for sure! I think there is a real lack of community these days people are so into minding their own business that we don’t take care of each other the way we once did. I think you should be applauded for looking out for this little boy and if he were my son I would have thanked you for trying to intervene. I think what we can do as a society is try to create neighborhoods with a sense of community for our kids so that they have a little bit of what we grew up with ya know the fear of being watched :)
Thank you Rachel and I could not agree more! I wish that people realized that every child’s business is their business. That is the kind of environment my husband grew up in and it is hard to convince him that being concerned is not the same as being nosey! I wish I had found the boy. If for any other reason than for him to know that someone cared enough to pay attention!
I suppose my take is somewhat similar to the previous responses. I believe that sense of community is a choice. We moved a handful of times over the past 10 years and each time we went nearly house to house offering introductions, understanding and gaining the community feel we wanted. Not surprisingly, it was welcomed. Parents will receive the disciplining of their children differently, but most understand parental intention and also legal vs. illegal. What the boy was doing was illegal, so you had every right. I have no real concern about it being a beer that was drunk. That might as well have been me at 12. I do have concern about children not feeling that their community mandates boundaries, and locally i do my part (some would say my part plus 12) of instilling fear into every youth who wanders indiscriminantly (it’s been smoking in my areas), to where they know to go to the next neighborhood. Neighboring folks need only to do the same.
Thank you for reading and replying. I, too, grew up knowing that just because my parent was not around did not mean that I was not being watched! I broke many a rule and they knew it every time! We live in a very close community, I feel, and even have a yahoo group to keep tabs on the happenings. I wish more communities were like this these day and I applaud anyone trying to make it so in their neighborhoods! I appreciate the support!
I think you did the right thing. If I would have been able to catch up to him, I would do the same thing. Probably would have called the cops too…maybe…I would have to be in the situation to know for sure. I was raised in a family that no matter whos kid you were, everyone older than you looked out for you and also disciplined you. It was like a huge family firewall…I rarely stepped out of line, in front of anyone. Kids now have no fear, no respect. I am still afraid of my mother.
LOL! And I of my parents as well! A little healthy fear never hurt anyone in my opinion. I will be watching for him again and praying this was a one time “experiment” for him. But if not, I hope I can at least show him that he needs to think twice before doing it again!
Wow. That’s disturbing. If that had been my child, I would have wanted you to not only take the beer but immediately come to me and tell me the situation. If he’s drinking at 12, what is he going to be doing at 16/17…behind the wheel of a car….Someone…anyone needs to put the fear of God into this child. That behavior is unacceptable and I agree that the community as a whole should play a part in keeping kids on the straight and narrow (within reason, of course). I hope you spot him again, and I hope he’s with his mama.
I do too Lisha! I have little girls growing up here! I will keep an eye out for him… it is the least I can do! Thank you for coming by and commenting!
well, I would try to stop him too, dont cara if he was or not familiar to me… he´s underage! one of my dearest and closest cousin became alcoholic at 17… I wish someone were there for her.. to stop her on the street where we found her abandoned one night!!!! anybody saw her drinking? of course but no one care about… she´s so young!
I am so sorry that your cousin is having so many issues. ((HUGS)) I’ll pray that she can fight this addiction. Alcoholism is a hard addiction to fight and I wish that everyone would be nosey and stop kids before it starts!
I wouldn’t have said anything, but would have been really conflicted by it. Like you I would want someone to take that beer from my child. The thing is I’d also want to know it had happened and obviously a stranger can’t tell you because you know the kid wouldn’t take you to their parents. It would have bugged the heck out of me and I probably would have come home and told my kids don’t you ever ever ever do that because I will know. They are already amazed by what I know about so they’d believe that I would find out ;).
I think you did the right thing. I don’t know that it would have been the WRONG thing not to do it, but what you did took courage. I run into this sort of situation when I see a parent hit his/her child in public–not so hard that I should clearly call the cops, but a lot harder than is warranted–it’s so hard to know when to get involved. But I think it would be best if there were more neighbors like you. :-)
Tayla,
Thank you. It was such a hard thing to think that I would be the one paying
the price if I actually approached the boy but I was going to do it anyway.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting!