As much as I want to avoid the topic of sex with my three girls, the reality is that if they don’t learn about it, they may have issues as they grow. The fact is that I want them well informed and confident in their knowledge. Along with my own process of getting to ‘the talk’, sex education is something that schools seem to take rather seriously these days and perhaps that is a good thing. They are focused on raising awareness and making things better for our kids. I am all for that aspect. Like most things that are good, there are some questionable bits, though. I was informed that schools today that hold these classes do some rather odd things. For example…
Would you be okay with the school:
…..teaching your child how to put a condom on a banana?
…..Going over the various types of sex…in detail?
……talking over the various types of lubricants and the types of sex they are good for?
This small sampling is only a fraction of the headlines you hear about in controversial sex education articles and news. Just where do we draw the line between educating and creating a ‘how to’ manual here?
Take for example the banana example above. When you show the child how to actually put a condom on a penis, it sends so many confusing and mixed signals that I can’t even begin to fathom how it would be allowed.
“Here, Sally. We ask you to not have sex until you are married but we know you will do it anyway. We might as well show you how to put on a condom.”
Seriously? This is education?
If you want to actually make a difference in sex education, you focus on the results. When you have sex, certain risks are being taken. Whether those risks are physical (babies, STDs, etc), mental (God, sin, guilt, pain) or simply relationship driven, they are powerful ways of dealing with kids that want to have sex before their time.
Showing them the blueprint for how to do virtually invites them to go ahead and do it anyway. It is like a parent that smokes weed in front of their kid and then tells them not to do it. Kids are not idiots.
Finally, if someone is going to show my daughters how to put on condoms, it is going to be me. That day will be when she starts seeing boys and we have an adult conversation between mother and daughter. This is not something she should be hearing about in a room full of other kids. It is not something she should “practice” in the name of grades on a report card.
I am no fool. I know that sex is something that will be explored on some level by most girls and boys. I also know that my daughters are not perfect and will likely be tempted too. For me, the key is that my kid should not be given a template at her school for how to do it…
To me, that is simply giving them permission.
What do you guys think? Do you think this type of sex education is good, bad or what? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.