Sometimes I feel downright mean to my kids. In fact, I have about 6 posts started with titles like “I Hate Being Mean”; “They’ll Leave as Soon as They Can”, and “They Have CPS on Speedial.” All posts started, but not completed.
I guess because by the time I get around to finishing them, the girls have done something really sweet and I have forgotten about the incidents.
For instance, the other night, I decided to let my girls “try” to have a slumber party. Katie has a bed and a couch in her room so there was plenty of room for an excited Sarah! I tried to tell them that a slumber party requires sleeping. So, I tucked both of them in, told them to tell each other bedtime stories and walked out.
A few minutes later, I was back, sternly warning them that if the were loud or out of their beds again, there would be no slumber party! They hurriedly ran to their beds, laughter and exciting screeches accompanying their progress. I warned them again and closed the door. Secretly smiling when I was outside.
Time and time again, I went in, got them back in bed, warned them of consequences of not staying in bed, and closed to the door only to secretly smile at their antics. Two little girls learning the ancient art of slumber partying. Sneaking out of their beds, whispering not as softly as they think, playing in the dark, happy as can be.
It got quiet and I assumed they had either figured out how to whisper correctly or were, indeed, in their beds sleeping. Thirty minutes passed and the door to Katie’s room opened.
Excitedly, two little girls came running out, “Mommy, Mommy, come see what we did!”
Oh. No.
Never a good thing to hear as a Mother, as you all may know!
I walk into Katie’s room and see that they have, working together, drawn a picture of a Christmas tree, complete with ornaments, the words HO HO HO, and a star on top… on Katie’s wall. In black marker.
I had two choices. Blow up or celebrate.
I decided to celebrate. After all, it is just a wall. A wall we will be painting anyway. And I wanted their pride in their work to be a memory. A cherished moment in childhood that they could draw on later and remember with a smile.
I did call an end to the slumber party after this, though, and put Sarah in her own room, where she quickly drifted off into an angelic sleep. Katie protested at first but then curled up and fell asleep too.
I closed their doors and leaned against the wall between their rooms and let the peacefulness of three sleeping girls wash over me.
This is childhood. And this is motherhood. And though I was frustrated and a little angry that they would not settle down and go to sleep, I was happy that they had a special sister night. Even though they may never know that through all of the warnings and stern words, secretly… I smiled.
**Originally published January 3, 2011**
Such a great post Lori! It's easy to get caught up in things being clean or done "right" but really the memories and fun of childhood are more important. It's just a wall but something they could remember forever. If they were old enough. ha. :)
I`m still learning to `take it easy` when it comes to things that the baby could possibily do. My husband is super paranoid about her health in the sense…Oh don`t let her put that in her mouth…don`t let her crawl there…and I`m like SHE IS A BABY LET HER EXPLORE! I don`t think I`ll be nearly as calm as you when it comes to my couches, walls, and area rugs being uses as pages out of a colouring book. I grew up in a very strict home (I honestly don`t remember having dolls as a kid) because my mom was a neat freak. I`m trying to slowly wean that out of me.
I`ll have to remember this post in a few years or months when Demi discovers crayons, markers, and colouring pencils.
Awww – it is so fun to let your kids explore. My theory is that all can be fixed. I am wrong, because i have lost some really great things to kids and dogs, but I don't want to ruin their creativity, so if it comes from the heart, i try to look on the bright side! Your DH will relax… he'll have no choice!
What a beautiful post Lori. I secretly smile a lot, I really hate being the mean mommy. It breaks my heart when I hear my son mumble as he is walking off "your so mean".
OMG!! I hate that!!! And "I don't love you anymore" UGH – heart – wrenching!!
Hi there, Lori! I just found you through your follow on BlogFrog. I thought I would come by and say hi.
My "baby" will be 24-years-old in just a few months, but when I read posts like yours, my mind is transported to an earlier time in my life, when my two were much younger. There were times when I wondered if I would make it through the infancy, toddler, young child, then teenage years. But, I did. And I'm still awed at how quickly it all seemed to transpire.
Take it from someone who knows from experience, first with my two children and now with a two-year-old granddaughter, before you barely blink an eye, your little ones will be grown and on their own. Things that seemed important at the time, will seem so insignificant years later.
Enjoy every moment with your little ones…while you can. ;)
Come by for a visit some time!
Blessings,
Liz @ the Brambleberry Cottage
http://thebrambleberrycottage.blogspot.com/
i love this! my kids are 2 and 1, so we haven't had marker incidents yet. i hope that when that day comes, i too can celebrate it and not freak. in the grand scheme of things, marker on the wall is a small thing (unless it's in someone else's house, haha!). i remember when we were kids, my sister drew on wall and the siamese cat with red lipstick. i don't think mom celebrated….do you have a picture of their art? i'd love to see!!
thanks for finding me on blogfrog! hope you visit my blog. i'll be reading yours!
Brynn – mine are 4, 3 and 1 and the oldest got waterproof ones for Christmas. I do not know what Santa was thinking!
I ove this post Lori….and I could have written the beginning part of it. I constantly feel so mean – my new years resolution is to let go and remember he's two and half and not forty….we've had a no fighting 24 hours…it's a start!
“This is childhood. And this is motherhood.”–I love it. Sometimes you gotta let them explore even if it drives you nuts! haha
Yep! It’s the hardest lesson I’ve had to learn. Lol