Strength Has No Gender™: My Story of Recovery After Divorce

This shop about my recovery after divorce has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #StrengthHasNoGender #CollectiveBias

Four years ago I was left with $0.72 cents in the bank, three children under 5 and the mortgage due. I was just starting to gain momentum on ADayinMotherhood.com and was, truly, scared

Some people say I am strong because I am a single mom. Some people say I am strong because I own my own business. Older friends and family say I am strong because my career before kids was breaking through the barriers of a man’s world as a stockbroker. Some say I am strong because I do CrossFit and can will my body to do things some say they can only imagine. By the way, anyone can do CrossFit. Just go. That is the hardest step.

While I think all of those things are valid, honestly, I have a hard time looking at myself as ‘strong’ at all. I think most women do. But the truth is, Strength Has NO Gender™ and I am living proof. I am raising my three daughters to understand that too! I am thrilled to see that products I use every day are recognizing that! In fact, if you are at Walmart, check out the Brawny® Pick-a-Size 8 Giant Plus packaging because, now, they have the Strength Has No Gender™ packaging and I love it.

The thing about strength, especially for women, is that we exhibit it every day with little thought that that is what it is. We just ‘get it done’ and, while recognition is appreciated, we keep getting it done whether it is recognized or not. It is just who we are!

When I graduated from college, back in the dark ages, with a Finance degree, I thought I wanted to be a Banker. A year later, bored and restless, I applied for a position as a Stockbroker’s Assistant. I got the job and entered into a world where testosterone ruled and ‘sweetheart’ still spilled from the lips of traders around me. Just a few weeks into the fast paced world of brokerage houses, I was determined to succeed and to live the lifestyle I wanted to! I did not set out to do anything amazing, I just wanted to get it done.

Just as Brittany Wenger proves in this amazing spot about how she self learned code to create a breast cancer screening process, women accomplish a lot more than we know.

In a brokerage house of about 200, there were only two female brokers that ran their own portfolios. I wanted to be one of them. I worked the 12 hour days, stayed out until all hours schmoozing clients, and picked myself up every time I was told I was not good enough to succeed in this world. I marched up the ladder past people who asked me to get their coffee when I first started and entered the world of International Trading. I did well there. Really well. I worked as a broker for almost 10 years, owning my own home at 30, buying any car I wanted and traveling the world until I decided to stay home with my children. The resilience and steadfast commitment to accomplish what others said I could not has followed me to this day. Whether in the CrossFit gym powering through a tough workout or dealing with recovery after divorce, that job set the stage for my belief in my own strength to get things done!

I may not have created a way to detect breast cancer in my living room and I may not be the first woman to do something amazing, but I am broken through my own limits with every step I take in my life. Like during my divorce, when I was left with, literally nothing, except the children and a roof over my head.

Four years ago I was left with $0.72 cents in the bank, three children under 5 and the mortgage due. I was just starting to gain momentum on ADayinMotherhood.com and was, truly, scared. I was angry too. My ex had left, at my own insistence, and had gone to the bank and cleaned out all of the accounts. It was a horrible thing when I realized I could not buy milk for my children that day. That was also the day that I pulled out the skills I had learned as a broker and decided to get to work repairing what was damaged.

Thanks to amazing clients who trusted me enough to pay immediately for work, friends who stepped up to help out and an iron will to prove that living well is the best revenge, I made it through. From that day forward I swore that I would never, ever, wonder how I would feed my kids again.

I cut out everything that was not a necessity. Cable, gymnastics for the kids, name brands… everything. I started getting up at 5am to look for opportunities and to work. I would go to bed well past midnight after working late into the night in an attempt to find even more work. I fought through a nasty and expensive divorce to save my house, my girls and my pride. In all that I had lost in the process I was not going to let them lose the only home they knew as theirs.

I have been extraordinarily blessed with reliable clients, great family and friends and kids that are so amazing even I wonder what I did to deserve them. A little over four years after that day that I was left penniless, through sacrifice, hard work and saving every little bit I could, I am free of the almost $40,000 in debt my ex-husband left me, have paid off my two year old Chevy Traverse, and am in the process of refinancing the house into my name alone. During all of this, I have managed vacations for the kids, always have food on the table and have even sponsored events around town with company funds. I have even managed to upgrade this 35 year old house in certain areas which included installing a new storm door last week all by myself!

To say I am humbled, blessed and grateful is an understatement. While I am FULLY aware that I did not do any of this alone, I am keeping my promise to myself to make sure I never have to wonder where food will come from for my kids again. My resolve to take my life back and to make it what I want for me and my girls is my strength. My willingness to sacrifice for a little while for the greater good later is starting to show it’s benefit.

If you had asked me 4 years ago where I thought I would be now, I would have said that I would be struggling, possibly homeless and working in a dead end job just to pay for my kids to be in daycare. Though I could imagine being where I am now I never really thought it was possible.

As we celebrate all of the women in this world who have broken through glass ceilings, broken the barriers within their own minds and who have persevered despite obstacles, I am proud to be a woman raising three strong and confident daughters. I am trilled to see that companies are starting to take notice that, truly, Strength Has NO Gender™ as Brawny has!

Look for the Exclusive to Walmart, limited-edition Strength Has No Gender™ pack and stock up today! Because whether you are wiping kids faces, wiping dog paws, or wiping down furniture, you need a product as reliable as you are!

How do you define your strength? I would love to hear your story!