I wish I could draw. I really do. Because I don’t know if words can actually truly convey the insanity that was my house the other night.
Complete. Utter. Chaos.
And for no reason in particular except that it was a Tuesday. A plain old, run of the mill, Mom might have to start spiking her coffee kind of Tuesday.
I am standing in the kitchen making dinner. The typical fighting commences on cue in the living room – you know, when I have a boiling pot of pasta in my hands and am trying to get it over to the sink to drain? Perfect timing.
Three little girls come screaming over each other in the most whining of matters to tell me that ‘she hit me’, ‘she pulled my hair’, ‘she hurt my feelings’ and so on. Sarah, my champion of all things whine is winning so Megan ramps up with her glass shattering screams in an attempt to be top dog. Katie, not to be outdone and carrying the most experience bears her teeth and lets out a howl that I have never heard before.
It is at this point my ears literally begin to ring. I cease any attempt to stop them – somehow it has become comical after all – and just stare, glassy eyes at the three that I have been blessed with lifting their voices in complete craziness for all of the neighbors, and the angels in Heaven, to hear.
Joining in the chaos of amplified complaints, the puppy and the old man dog get to playing. Now, if you have never had a little, fluffy dog, then you might not know that their barks make scratching your nails down the chalkboard sound like clouds bumping together. It is the one thing I did not know these dogs possessed.
Or I would have just bought a stuffed one.
In the midst of three screaming – still competing for my attention – children, two dogs barking their heart out and the consistent pounding in my head the door opens.
It is my husband.
Who takes one look, turns on his heels, and vacates to the garage.
Helpful. Understandable. Jealousy inducing.
As they noise continues, my head spins and I am at a loss of what to do other than offer them candy, cookies and any movie they want to watch, I actually hear a noise. Something off in the distance. A click. A clack. A slam?
The sound barrier actually breaking?
Convinced that was it and a little excited because that would be kind of a really cool thing to be famous for, I was slightly disappointed when I realized it was just my husband coming in the back door with reinforcements.
Band instruments he’d gotten in the attic.
At least they stopped screaming.