It is no secret that my ex-husband used to ‘work’ an insane amount of hours. And that on the weekends he was so busy around here and with friends that we didn’t end up with much “couple” time from week to week. We talked sometimes on the phone during the day and a few minutes at night, but in reality, I didn’t see him enough to be able to share all that I want to, or should do, with a best friend.
It has also been well documented that I have fantastic friends! But they are busy with their own children and husbands and it is hard to get a few minutes to catch up, much less share intimate details of my day.
So, even though I am not supposed to be my children’s “friend” and they can have a lot of friends but need a mother, they are, in fact, quickly becoming my best friends.
How can they not be?
We spend every waking hour together, for the most part. They know everything I do and say. They are with me in the bathroom, the kitchen, the laundry room and every other room in this house. They hear my phone conversations – often because they need something immediately when I am on one – hear what I say to the neighbors, and any business call I might be on.
They are there when I laugh, cry, am moody, tired, hyper and just complacent. Each of them watches me get frustrated, angry, depressed and just plain mad. I try really hard not to gear that towards them, but since they are always here, how can they not see that?
They know my secrets. They know that I bite my nails, which Katie now emulates. They know that I often don’t change my clothes until 3 in the afternoon. They know that I eat badly and rely on coffee for any energy.
My children know about my friendships and my extended family at all times. They know when a friend is in need, and when I need a break.
Sure, I don’t sit down with them and confide every deep feeling I have. We don’t have problem solving discussions back and forth on really major issues – unless you call settling who is playing with which toy problem solving. And they are also my “job”, so to speak, so I don’t really get to totally relax around them.
But if you call someone who lives the good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing with you day after day your best friends, then I have three of them.
And I have the most amazing best friends on the planet!
Originally Published 10/26/10