My Adoption and Me

My Adoption and Me

2016-05-11T15:35:42+00:00By |Raising Daughters|13 Comments

November 20 is National Adoption Day.  A day to raise awareness and celebrate adoptive parents and children everywhere.  It’s funny, I never even knew it existed, or really cared, until recently.  Until my blog, really.  Until I forced myself to post honestly about my myriad of emotions as a mother and realized, this event-  my adoption – is more important to me than I thought.

My Adoption and Me

I was an abused child.  The daughter of a schizophrenic mother and truck driver father.  The 5th daughter in a family of 8 children.  Living in a trailer home, moving often to avoid child protective services, and underfed, under cared for, and neglected like a child never should be.  I was “taken” often and put in foster homes, along with my brothers and sister, only to be shoveled back to my family and start the cycle again.

When I was 6, the state caught up with us and permanently removed us from the home.  I was in a foster home until one day, my social worker showed up, said we were going to another city and I was going to meet a family that wanted more children.

A few months later, I sat at a judge’s table and was asked if I wanted to be adopted.  I was 8.  I looked at these people who I’d been to a carnival with, shopping with, and Church with and decided I’d like to hang with them a little longer.  So I said “Yes”.

And that is when I became another girl.  I became the second daughter, the only one adopted, in a family with  rules, discipline, structure, and unconditional love.  Not that I thought that at the time.  I was new to everyone and new to everything.  I had birthday parties for the first time ever, Christmas, and other events others seemed to just expect, introduced to me.

I came full of baggage.  Tattered, torn, beaten, tired, frustrated, confused baggage.  This presented an amazing challenge to my parents, who tried everything to help me, often with the knowledge that I appreciated none of it.  How they did it is beyond me, but I certainly appreciate it now.

When I found my ex-husband, the man I thought I would build my family with, I started to really “get it”.  My parents did not adopt me because they “had” to.  I was not the stray cat that would not stop mewing at their back door.  I was a human being.  A child in need.  A child they wanted.  So desperately that they allowed strangers in their home to assess them as people, listened to others tell them why they should not adopt an 8 year old broken girl and should hold out for a new baby that they could mold from birth, and did it anyway.  With pride.

There have been many, many, many obstacles and difficulties in my relationship with my parents.  Mainly from my resistance to them and my jealousy in their strength, resolve, and determined spirit.  They never gave up and now reap the benefits of their hard work.  They have 2 daughters, 5 grandchildren, and a life time of love and adoration.

So on National Adoption Day 2010, I raise my glass to you Mom and Dad.

Adopting me made you angels,  putting up with me and all of my “stuff” makes you warriors, but loving me makes you my parents.

God Bless you all on this wonderful day!

**Originally published 11/20/2010**

join our email list

About the Author:

Lori is a single work from home mom of three daughters, ages 11, 10 and 8. She has been the author of ADayinMotherhood.com for over 8 years and blogs because it is cheaper than therapy. She wants to connect with her readers through honest and engaging posts! Contact me for authentic posts, creative ideas and beautiful but real photos!

13 Comments

  1. Aimee Cordero November 20, 2010 at 5:48 pm - Reply

    Lori this is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you to your parents for loving you and making you their daughter.

  2. Jana A November 20, 2010 at 9:28 pm - Reply

    Oh, this is so unbelievably beautiful. Your parents are so special, as are you… (((hugs)))

  3. Hanna November 21, 2010 at 3:23 am - Reply

    Hi there! i found you on Top Mommy BLogs. I am your newest follower!! I love finding new blogs and yours is lovely:) You can find me at http://www.bouffeebambini.blogspot.com
    Have a peek at my giveaways if you come by. Everything is handmade and GORGEOUS! I'm also giving away a $110 baby carrier:)

  4. Heide November 22, 2010 at 2:11 pm - Reply

    Oh, man. Cry cry cry. This is lovely.

  5. Crystal November 22, 2010 at 2:28 pm - Reply

    What a great post Lori!

  6. ~Dawn~ November 22, 2010 at 3:13 pm - Reply

    OMGoodness, I have tears!! What a sweet post!!

    Dawn

    I have some great giveaways going on at Mom-a-Logues. Low entires.
    http://www.mom-a-logues.blogspot.com

  7. Jenn at Sweet T Makes Three November 22, 2010 at 4:15 pm - Reply

    What a beautiful story! I'm a new follower from Bloggy Moms.

  8. Lori November 22, 2010 at 4:34 pm - Reply

    Thank you all so much! I sincerely appreciate all of your kind comments! This one is deeply embedded in my heart so it is nice that you all like it! I'll be stalking your blogs now! LOL Thank you!

  9. Kristin Duncan August 23, 2013 at 1:45 pm - Reply

    <3 ya, girl. I miss your face, too.

    • LoriPace August 23, 2013 at 1:46 pm - Reply

      Thanks :). Me too

  10. […] The one he was eventually adopted into while I was adopted by my current family. I was 8 when my adoption went through and I hardly remembered any of the people telling me stories about my time in the […]

  11. […] been decades, probably, since I took her breakfast in bed as a little girl. I adore my mom. As an adopted child that she took in at the age of 8, serious problems and challenges included, I now appreciate her […]

  12. […] of our family. With Father’s Day around the corner, I am reminded of how blessed I am that, at the age of 8, I got to become his […]

Leave A Comment

Are you human? *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Web Statistics