I had grand plans when that second line showed up on that stick. I had big restrictions on what could and could not be done around my children. And I, myself, put big expectations on my own shoulders as a mother. Almost 4 years into raising 3 little girls, I am all done pretending. My ‘I will NEVER’s’ have turned into “maybe’s” and my boundaries have relaxed in a lot of areas. Here are five that I had to let go of in order to keep my sanity! Honestly, these are Five Things I Have Given Up On in Motherhood!
I will NEVER let my kids wear old and stained clothing!
Well…. let’s see. Three daughters, an acre to live on – half of which is instantly turned into mud at the slightest drizzle – markers, paint, food and more and this one went out with the first onsie I put on them that still had a cereal stain on the front. I want my kids to look good, I do. But, seriously, the amount of stains and marks and such that they get on their clothes are way more than I could have imagined. And, being a relatively optimistic person, I think that eventually all stains will come out. I am generally wrong. But the thing that surprises me the most is how quickly my kids become attached to clothing, no matter how it looks. I have to throw things out when they are not around. But until I can, I have let my six year old go to school in pants that have a nail polish spot on the leg. But when I drop her off, I announce all loud and stuff, “She dressed herself and LOVES those pants, stain and all!”
Teachers still roll their eyes… but I feel better.
My kids will NEVER fight!
I’ll pause for laughter. Yea, yea…. mommy is a loon if she thinks she can keep three little girls from fighting about every.little.thing.
As they have aged, I have been a stickler about hitting, biting – thank goodness that phase passed quickly – and pulling hair. But, to be honest, listening to them verbally berate one another with things like, “You’re a popsicle head!” and the retort of, “Oh yea, we’ll I’ll just melt on you!” is flipping hysterical.
Plus, my kids needs to learn how to solve their own battles. So letting them deal with it every once in a while it just good for them. Right?
I will NEVER let them eat processed foods!
Do I really even have to explain how completely ridiculous this one is? Though I keep it to a minimum, driving home from an evening event or late afternoon tumbling class and then coming home and cooking for three little girls from scratch who are hungry and tired is not my idea of fun. So, a stop at the local fast food place is on the agenda!
Add to that rushed lunches, breakfasts and snacks and frozen waffles and chicken nuggets have become a staple. I am all good with super healthy, good meals most of the time. But let’s get real. I am no super mom. And processed foods are just in their diet sometimes. I admit it!
My children will learn to clean their rooms and keep them clean!
If there is any battle I fight all day long, it is the cleaning battle. Cups are left on tables, clothes strewn about in their 50 outfit changes a day, and toys are hazards within an hour of them waking up. And Mama gets SO tired of cleaning up after them!
But the reality is that three kids are not going to stop and pick up every little thing all the time. I have solved the laundry issue with this awesome 3 section hamper! My girls each have a section and they love to throw their clothes in. I keep it in their sleeping room and when it gets half full, I roll it to the laundry room and wash everything. And now, since I am not picking up all the time, we are working on them putting their clothes away!
But the battle continues with toothpaste in the sink, beds being made and toys being haphazardly thrown about for mommy to step on. So I do most of it still and have given up the constant battle to have them do everything to clean. I guess as they age, I’ll add an extra chore a year. Until then, I will pray the Lord brings me a housekeeper!
I will NEVER let other people tell me how to raise my kids!
Well this is just stupid, let’s be honest. Some of the best advice I have gotten is from other people telling me exactly how to raise my kids. You think I got the hamper idea all by my lonesome? No – my neighbor told me about it!
Not only do I alertly listen when someone has an idea, I seek it out! PLEASE tell me how to get them to brush their teeth longer! PLEASE tell me how to get them to listen to me when they are all in the throws of playing and act like I don’t exist! PLEASE tell me how to get my little one to stop screaming “MOOOOOOOM” across the house!
I am ALL ears! I, honestly, can not parent alone so any and all advice is totally taken!
There are more, I am sure and as the girls grow and I evolve, my ‘I never’s!’ will evolve with them. Some I will fight more than others, but they are bound to change. Because no matter what I think I can control and promise, motherhood is unpredictable. And the only way to deal with that is to be flexible. At least on most things!
There is one constant, though… and it it will never change…
I will NEVER Stop trying to be a better mother!
Admitting that you’re not perfect makes you one of the best moms in my eyes! I thought I had the only sloppy kids but now I don’t feel so bad.
LOL!! Any mom that says she does not have sloppy kids need to write a book! Thank you for reading and your comment!!!
There is such truth in the old adage that we all know all about raising children until we become parents. No one can truly understand the depths of the joy, exhaustion, frustration, and fun of raising children until they are doing it. Keep on keeping on. You’re doing great!
Aww thank you so much! And I can fit what I know about parenting into my hand! But I try and that is all we can do, right?
I had plenty of “nevers” before I had my kids and, like you, so many of them went out the window as the years have gone by. Being able to change our views with experience is a sign of flexibility (I like that label better than “weak and tired”). Seriously, though, being able to admit that we’re not perfect and accepting advice where it’s given makes us better moms and role models.
I agree 100%, Kat! I learned long ago that hanging on to the little things prevented be from enjoying the big. My motherhood is a lot happier just being and doing with them!