I am sick. I don’t know what I have. Could be a bug, could be that the exhaustion of my schedule has caught up to me, could be that I have something else going on that I need to have diagnosed at a Doctor’s office. I don’t really know.
All I know is that I am oh so tired, achy, feverish and on edge… more than normal. I have been falling asleep in the afternoon – I never do that – and worried to even drive the car because I get dizzy and my eyes hurt.
But taking a few hours to take a real nap, one that is not constantly interrupted by kids, truly peaceful and not laden by guilt is hard. I can not even imagine taking a whole day or weekend to feel better. Though I would like to.
I’d like to take my sick, tired self and curl up, under the warm covers of my new master bedding, relish in the beauty of the newly redone room, put on a guilty pleasure show that I can pass in and out of consciousness watching, and not be bothered until I feel the desire to see the light of day again.
But, somewhere in the contract of my mommy agreement that I signed with labor pains and c section scars, is a little talked about truth of motherhood.
We don’t get sick days.
Kids do. Hubsand’s do. But mommies don’t.
Probably mostly because we don’t feel like we can. I want to get up when I hear my child cry, when a scuffle breaks out, and when I hear my husband opening and closing cabinets 20 times looking for something the whining, tired little girls are asking for. And I hate knowing that he has been out mowing the lawn in the Texas heat and then has to come in and deal with the kids.
I suppose I think I am too important around here. Like they can not handle things without me.
But part of it, I think, is that I feel… lazy, somehow for taking the time to heal. I know that makes no sense. I read it too. But I DO!
I have so much to do. The kids need to be bathed. The bathrooms need to be cleaned. There are piles of laundry that make a mountain look like an ant hill. I need to go to the grocery store. The check book needs to be balanced. And on and on. How in the world can I justify laying in a comfortable, warm, beautiful bed just because I feel a little “ick”? I should be able to over come “ick” and take care of my family.
“Ick” will just make me behind. Make me more irritable, less attentive to the kids because I have things to catch up on, and frustrated that I let it get me.
So, maybe mommies do get sick days… by law. But in my mind, taking one just seems plain selfish. And I think that there is an inherent understanding that when I became a mother, I gave up my “selfish” ways.
Right, wrong or stupid… I did.
So, I’ll pull myself up, take a Tylenol, pray the kids go to bed early and sleep late tomorrow. Because I am a mom… and mommies don’t get sick days.
At least I can’t let myself take one…
**Originally published 9/24/2011**
There was a Walgreen’s commercial on my Pandora today. 2 kids and the husband were sick, and they were ringing bells asking “Mommy” and “Honey” for soup, juice, tissues, etc. The last part of the commercial, the Mom had a stuffy nose and she said something about how she was prepared to take it on because of Walgreens.
The commercial sent me over the edge. I was furious – husbands and kids can not only rest when they are sick, they can also RING BELLS to get mommy/wife’s attention, but Mommy has to basically suck it up and take it on? No. Just…no.
In this house, I get “sick days” if I need them, but that’s not to say I actually take them. For goodness sake I have shingles right now. I’m in screaming pain almost constantly. Where is my husband? Golfing.
The only way I get a true sick day – or just a day to myself in general – is if I call in sick to work (I work outside the home) and don’t tell anyone. But then the guilt I feel almost makes it not even worth it.
The life of a mommy is tough!
I can recall a time in the not so distant past where I was ill with a stomach bug, and my husband couldn’t take a sick day. So there I was changing a blow out diaper on the floor because every time I stood up I felt like I was going to fall over. That sucked. But I don’t feel guilty when I need a break because I know that my husband has got it under control. Okay..maybe a teensy bit guilty, but I get over it. Sleep is good and it sounds like you need a break, at the very least. Those symptoms don’t sound too good, so please get some sleep… You don’t want to push yourself to the point where you are literally incapable of doing your mommy duties because your illness catches up with you.
Being sick as a mom is horrible. I also feel the same way about your Facebook post on the changes, and hurting bloggers. I don’t have near as many fans as you, but I think a lot of people are no longer seeing my feeds.
Please stop encouraging moms to be the 24/7 perfect parent. There is no such person. Moms deserve time off. All they need to do is relinquish the duties to dad or other parents in their network. And please stop the dad bashing. I have yet to see an article in which dads bash the moms. Moms admit they feel guilty about taking time off from motherhood. But that is not a dad’s fault. Okay, so the household is not managed the way you’d like it. So what, Led dads and the kids learn how to manage without mom. That is good for dad and kids because it also gives them time to bond. BTW, I was the at -home dad for 20 years and supported my wifep’s professional career. I never complained or kept score when it came to managing the household and kids. And my kids are still breathing and alive. If you’d like to know more about me and my upcoming WeLoveMoms and WeLoveDads campaings visit this link – https://goodmenproject.com/author/hogan-hilling/ Let’s stop the dad bashing start focusing on how to unify and strengthen the parenting community by embracing the different ways moms and dads parent. For the kids!