We go through 4 to 6 gallons of milk a week in this house. No, I am not lying. We just do. I’ve accepted it and am appropriately docking college funds to compensate. So to say we have to hit the store more than once a week is almost redundant. But we do.
I try to plan ahead, buying 4 gallons at a time. But sometimes – usually right at bedtime when all three are screaming for some milk and I am at my wit’s end – I open the fridge where I attempt to stock up and it is bare. Bare like my patience in bundling up three kids and taking them to the store up the street to get some milk.
But, just like the other night, I do it. My theory is that heading to the store is easier than dealing with the extra hour of asking for some milk.
Even though the kids were already in their jammies, I changed them, loaded them in the car and drove the mile or so to the dollar store right outside of our neighborhood. We got there and the parking lot was fairly empty – because everyone else had milk and was happily enjoying an hour before bed of peace and quiet as their milk bellied kids slept – so I predicted this to be a fairly easy in and out trip.
Predictions with three kids.
Just.plain.stupid.
Since I was grabbing one gallon I bypassed the carts that normally serve as buggies for at least one of my kids. Carts make life easier with three little kids. As you will learn.
We got the milk and headed to the register. I ignored calls for chips and candy and expired Valentine’s treats and started to check out.
Now, as we moms know, you kind of always have an eye on your children when you are out somewhere. And when you have more than one and they are small and easily lost, you look up at every chance and do a head count. Which I did… multiple time… always landing on three little heads.
Until after counting out the cash for the milk, I only counted two little heads.
Where was my little one? She was just RIGHT HERE?
I looked up the candy aisle behind me. No Megan.
I looked behind the table with with the sale items. No 3 year old.
I asked here sister’s where she was hoping sisterly radars would point me that way. No clue, they said.
Panic started to seep in. She was right here just two seconds before, where could she be?
I called her name, the cashier joined in and even the man stocking the shelves looked up in alarm.
She, literally, had vanished!
I ran to the front of the store, opened the door and screamed her name out into the desolate parking lot. Not there.
I ran up and down the aisles, directing my other 2 kids to stay with the perplexed cashier. As I ran I imagined the lights and sirens of the police I was about to call. I imagined her beautiful little face and soft ringlets flashing across television screens as Amber Alerts were issued. And I imagined her scared and lost and not knowing how to get back to mommy.
Deep in the throws of a mother’s worst nightmare, and seemingly an hour later, the woman stocking the shelves in the back of the store yelled that she was HERE! Following her pointed finger down, I see my little three year old, clutching her bedtime teddy bear, with a huge grin on her face, clearly thrilled that she had tricked mommy.
My fear tuned to anger for a moment and as I approached her I said, more sternly than I should have, ‘This is not funny, little girl. You don’t ever run from mommy in a store! Do you understand me?”
And she started to cry. Which I understood. I wanted to too.
In hindsight, my instant scolding was a bad move. I should have swooped up my little child and hugged her and thanked God above that she was playing a game and not actually in a stranger’s car being taken from me forever. But I was mad. And emotional. And scared.
And so I handled it badly.
I don’t know if my scolding will prevent her from running away in a store again. I have decided carts are the only way to prevent this from happening any time soon. But I know that I never want to experience that fear again. So as we go about our daily tasks I remind my kids constantly to stay with mommy no matter what. And I hope that next time I remember to be glad first and angry later.
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Thanks for sharing such an emotional moment with your readers. I would have panicked too, and probably would have been angry. Thankfully she was right in the store and not in any trouble. Maybe try a “buddy system” where your kids have to hold each others hands while in the store.
Yes- we do that in parking lots. They have to all be holding onto me or each other. I might have to start doing it in stores! Thank you!
I had a great relationship with my siblings, but there is no way holding hands would’ve lasted longer than 2 minutes, tops!
My husband and I both used to hide on our parents in stores ALL the time. We are so in for it with our kids. I feel so bad for what I did to my Mom!
LOL true Amy!!! My kids love each other but they’d rather pop each other over the head than hold hands all the time!!
I also would’ve likely done the same and felt bad too. However, there are certain things that really can’t be joked about. And situations that could result in kidnappings aren’t one. :( I would’ve apologized for not keeping better tracktrack, but also had a talk about why hiding from Mommy isn’t okay. Then we would’ve had lots and lots of cuddles!!!
I do the counting thing too. Constantly. When I hang out with friends and their kids, I start counting theirs too. I imagine that’s what mother hens do. 1-2-1-2 … got another … 1-2-3, 1-2-3, Twins just came to the play group? Easy! 1-2-3-4-5, 1-2-3-4-5. As for the scolding thing, I don’t think it’s that bad to show your emotions. You were scared. She needed to know it wasn’t funny and that you were scared. I freaked out on my 5 year old the other day like that … he thought he was being funny, I was completely freaked (it was about the seatbelt, though, not lost in a store). Their lives and safety are not a joke. You did fine!
Well thank you!! I am glad I am not getting reemed about my reaction. Motherhood is hard and it is hard to do the right thing every time. I so appreciate the support!!! And yes… how do ducks keep up with their little ones? LOL
Walgreens curb pick-up. Then you never have to leave the car! (My youngest is 16 and I can’t tell you all of the horror stories of when my kids were lost — usually my husband did the losing.) In our area, their milk is the same price as the grocery store (or cheaper,) so if they are close by, much easier than taking three kids int he store. :)
been there a couple times with the SAME child. He says “I wasn’t lost, i knew where I was”. I think you handled it the way most parents would. Since she thought it was so funny you made it very known that the ordeal wasn’t a game and shouldn’t be done again. I’m sure it broke your heart but you didn’t cause any permanent damage.
Someone told me a long time ago when I had 4 kids 7 years & under – to tell your kids to say where ‘they can see mommy’ – not the other way around. They don’t have the perspective to know whether mommy can see them or not. But they do know if they can see you. It’s a small trick, but it works.
This has to be one of the best titles I’ve seen ever for any Mom blog post! I had my six year old disappear at a surf dog festival on the beach (Southern Cali-rolls eyes) as we splashed about in the freezing surf panicking we hear our daughter’s name announced. Like a couple of wet idiots we went up to the man on the microphone and collected our kid. Parenting and humiliation seem to go hand in hand.
It has been a rough day for us here at home, in a safe place. But your post made me shed some tears! Hugz!
Oy, reading this made me want to cry for you! I’ve lost sight of my oldest before and I know that stomach-plummeting feeling and then the feelings of relief and anger when your child is found. In those moments, those little leashes they put on kids seemed logical LOL. Emotions do strange things to our ability to use logic.
Several years ago, we lost our 7 year old son at disneyland (which is probably about the best place to lose a kid actually). But he was lost for almost an hour and it was less than six months after our youngest son had gone to Heaven. I was VERY grateful for the time that passed between the security guard telling me “They found him!” and her walking us to where he was (probably about 5 minutes). I spent that time telling myself, I will NOT yell at him, it’s not his fault. I think your reaction was a VERY typical mommy reaction.. I think anger comes out of fear often and your daughter DID need to know that was not an okay game! Glad it all turned out okay!
Yes. Been there, done that, unfortunately. My daughter is 11 and I’ll still have her hang on to the cart when we go to the store – not because I’m a helicopter parent, but because stores (and bad strangers) are scary!
Sooo been there. It is amazing how mere seconds or minutes feel so much longer when you are panicked and scared for your kids, even more amazing how quickly our mommy minds instantly imagine the worst and start imagining search teams for a kid that haas been out of sight for like a minute! I think it is totally natural for you to feel stern or mad about that kind of scare. I have often said when the kids did something that terrified me (all tooo often!) that it left me relieved and mad all at the same time.
I so feel you when you say you were scared, as my 2 year old Son loves to hide on me. He is really good at it too, especially being patient and quiet. Although in other situations he is not patient, is really hyper and can talk my ear off lol. I have tried to explain that this is not funny and scares me. I have also blown my top and yelled too. But nothing seems to work yet. Sometimes I think they just don’t understand yet, and I always try to tell my Son how much I love him and care after I yell. I am working on the yelling. I also give him lots of hugs and cuddling! I have a 6 month old, and I know he is jealous. It is really hard to give equal attention even though in my heart I know I love them the same. I just hope that my sons understand and aren’t emotionally scarred later in life. That is my worst fear!!
Oh I understand. My first 2 are 14 months apart and I had to deal with the jealousy as well and the attention getting tactics. Hang in there. It does not necessarily get easier but it does get more manageable!
I think you acted appropriately when you found her. It wasn’t funny and now she knows that.
Oh I know that feeling well. My oldest (who is 13) did that to me in Walmart when she was 4 and they had to do a Code Adam for her. Let me tell you, when we found her hiding in the round clothes racks, I lost it in front of the entire Walmart. I tore her butt up right then and there, but she NEVER hid from me again.
This did bring me to tears, maybe Im pmsing…but I have been rhere. The sheer terror is enough to tear your heart out! I dont think you overreacted at all. The message was hopefully heard loud and clear.
Hugs to you.
Awww, I’m sorry! it was so scary and even years later I can remember that day and feeling so vividly! I tear up too!