I am a very lucky mommy. I have three sweet, smart, beautiful girls that are my best friends. I am their mother and that is well known around here but we live our lives together, just the four of us, so it is just fact that we rely on each other for everything.
When I was married, I tried to make it a point to do something one on one with all of my girls. They need that special time with mommy and I loved having it with them. Even it it was just taking one to get groceries, they felt that they had my undivided attention.
Now, as a single mom of the three I find it hard to do the same. I miss that time with each of them and I know they do too. I still have a few hours a day with my little one who is in preschool. We also have every Friday because her sisters are in school. My oldest gets me for an hour or two on weeknights when her sister’s are in tumbling. But my middle daughter, my super sweet, loving Sarah, never gets time alone with me.
I miss her so much.
Her personality is SO amazing and she needs me as much as I need her. I try to curl up in a corner with books with her but my other two always find a way in. I try to let her stay up a little later than her sister’s but my other two won’t allow it. And adding another night of tumbling just so they all go on different days still leaves her with one other sister to compete with.
I think that being a middle child, especially in a close in age sibling group, makes it hard for the parent to carve out time. Especially a single parent. Pinned in between a sister one year older that she will always follow right behind in growth and having a little sister who wants to tag along because you are her big sister has to be hard.
Recently, her older sister was moved to a higher tumbling class that she probably won’t follow to for at least a month. Unless her competitive spirit kicks in and she gets her back walk over sooner, she will stay in the class she is in. So I purposely schedule my oldest and youngest in class at the same night. Now, I will actually have 30 minutes on Monday nights with just Sarah. When I told her this, her smile and excitement almost made me cry.
I don’t know how else to do it. How to take the time that each girls needs to just be with mommy. Babysitters are not in the budget and all of my friends have their own kids. But I will always strive to find a way to give that little gift to us both.
Because I miss my middle daughter… and I don’t want to anymore!
Since your friends have kids could you do a babysitting swap? That way you don’t have to feel bad asking them because it will help them too!
I have tried that bit then the kids all want to stay. Lol. But it is something I’m trying to work out :)
I’m not a single parent household but it’s still hard to manage time for 3 children. Mine are 6, 4, 3 and I’m currently expecting baby #4 which will be our only little boy. We do the same and try to separate them with different interests or staying with hubby’s mom for a few hours but our middle daughter loves to come home and spend time with us. Keep your head up and doing what you’re doing, things will work out.
Wow! Congrats on your little boy ;). And thank you for reading and commenting!!
I think what is most important here is that you are recognizing the needs of the middle child. I am a middle child. I’m not going to talk about how it messed up my life and whatnot because I don’t believe in making excuses for the choices I make as an adult, but I will say that I feel as if I grew up without an identity. I wasn’t the oldest, I wasn’t the baby. I was just “there”. Like an “extra” kid with no real place in the family. It’s great that you are trying to carve out time for her. Something else you can try, look for something that only the 2 of you will participate in. Something you won’t let the other 2 do, like an art class or something. It’s more than just having one on one time – try to find a one on one event. Even if the other 2 experience some jealousy, the middle child is already dealing with jealousy as well.
Excellent idea! I tell her all the time that she is the only one that has both a big sister and a little sister and only the most special of little girls get to have that! It makes her smile so I am hoping it helps. I want her to feel just as important and amazing as the other 2! Great idea, Lynn, thank you!
I thought of something else that would be easy to do. I know you have all 3 girls help you in the kitchen, but pick a special meal or treat that only your middle child will help you with. Even re-name it – Sarah’s Scrumptious Souffle, or whatever. You know how everyone has that ONE special recipe that is passed on from family member to family member? Find something that can be hers alone, and will be hers forever.
That could be SUPER cool!!! :)