There are things I expected to have to teach my kids.  How and what to eat, how to drink from a sippy cup, how to brush their teeth and so on.  I researched them, ignored everything I read and did what I wanted.

I even feel like I am teaching them their manners pretty well.  They are polite – to other people, well mannered – when not around me, and generous -except to each other.

But it never crossed my mind that I would have to come up with a way to teach my kids patience!


How in the world do you teach something like that?

Especially when you have little?  And anyone who knows my husband knows that his patience level is about negative a million.  So he is basically useless in that area!

I have tried repeating “Please have some patience”, ala Michelle Duggar style a thousand times and it falls on – well – impatient ears.   And I have done the old, “You won’t get  – insert anything on this planet that they could possibly want every single one of – until you stop asking”, and I have tried ignoring them.

All horrific failures.

I need to teach them this skill, however, so I guess I’ll have to get creative.

Which is not my strong suit when it comes to parenting.

Here are some ideas:

When Sarah asks for milk and I can barely make it to the kitchen before she screams, “Mooom you forgot my milk!”, I will stop, turn around, drop to the floor in the fetal position and rock back and forth.  When she comes to see why I can not move faster than the speed of light to get her milk, maybe she’ll be distracted by the blob of Mommy and lose interest trying to get me un-blobbed?

When Megan comes into my room while I am trying to have a moment of privacy in the bathroom and bangs – loudly – on the door, screaming “Moooomeeeee” at the top of her lungs, I will fall to the floor in the fetal position and rock back and forth.  Eventually she’ll lose her voice right?  And then she’ll be distracted trying go get it back?

And when my easy child – right now – Katie asks me for the 7 millionth time if it is time to go to a birthday party, I will fall the the ground in the fetal position and rock back and forth.  And then she’ll have to come down to my level to ask if it is time to go to the birthday party… again.

Sure, this is exaggerated.   I can only drop to the floor so many times before my poor back gives out, but you get my point.  And proof that the parenting creativity gene missed me.

But I just don’t know how I will teach them this.

So I guess I’ll keep watching parenting shows, reading blogs from moms who have some patience, and praying to the Man above for devine wisdom.

Which really sucks – because I want to teach them patience NOW!