Every so often a heated debate happens on social media revolving around motherhood. Breastfeeding vs. not vs. where it is OK and where it is not flares up occasionally. Leaving kids in hot cars comes up every Summer, as it should. And other topics arise as we all stumble through motherhood. I am of the opinion that there is no bad motherhood decision if you are truly taking care of your kids and they are safe, happy and healthy. You can introduce all the studies in the world but I think any well meaning mom that treats her kids right is being the best mother she can.

I am not a bad mom because I don't homeschool

But I also think that the internet and social media has given voice to those who are very passionate and – dare I say – narrow minded about certain issues. To the point that shaming perfectly good mothers because they don’t follow the same lifestyle and beliefs is OK in their mind.

The issue these days seems to be whether or not a mom should homeschool. While I generally applaud those who have the patience, the time and the financial means to keep their kids home and give them a quality education, I also think that it is perfectly fine not to homeschool as well. I think both homeschooling and not have benefits to kids that are unique to one and not the other.

Homeschooling moms, as I understand it, can offer a controlled environment that allows them to focus more on the education of their own kids. A teacher who often has a classroom full of children, all with different learning styles and discipline issues, may have a harder time focusing on one child and their total needs. Homeschooling moms also can have a more real life curriculum. I know many who take their kids to museums and places around the globe so that their kids get an education outside of the classroom.

I am a send your kids to school mom. My kids attend public schools and they do very well in the environment. I am a stay at home mom, I guess, but I also run a full time business from my home (this website). I can barely keep my home decent, my kids happy and attended to and my business running well without giving up almost all pretenses of sleep. So to homeschool for me would be a strain that would only hurt me and my kids. In addition, I truly believe that kids who are exposed to different personalities, lifestyles and lessons in life have a more well rounded upbringing. But that is me.

This debate is getting heated though, whether it is better to homeschool or not, and I have watched as amazing mothers have been virally bashed and yelled at because they send their kids to school. Comments like, ‘We homeschool our kids because we actually like spending time with them!’ filter into perfectly normal conversations and really can hurt to read.

There is a popular argument that crime in schools is out of control and so people homeschool to keep their kids safe from shootings and more. While I completely understand that emotional decision and sometimes wish I had the skills to make that a reality for my kids, I would argue that homeschooling does not guarantee safety. All you have to do is read about the Stay family in Houston.  A homeschooling family with 5 children that were murdered, execution style, in their home, with both parents home, only one surviving.

Or Andrea Yates who murdered her sweet children in the wake of a serious mental break while being home all day every day with her 5 kids, homeschooling the older ones.

I am a good mom even if I don't homeschool

Granted, these are EXTREME cases and it is not the norm. But, despite media coverage, neither are school shootings. Especially in the younger aged schools.

Tragedy is going to happen. Whether it be a terminal illness or a car accident, no matter what decisions we make, bad things happen all the time. It is the sad fact of life. It bothers me to no end that people think that I am willingly putting my children in danger just because I send them to a public school. I bet if you ask any teacher, they would say they treat my kids as their own. Always putting safety first!

Homeschooling is an amazing thing. I honestly stand and applaud people who are making that sacrifice. But just because I do not do it does not mean I am a bad mother. I am not careless, I am not selfish, I do not want my kids to go away so I don’t have to deal with them and I don’t expect teacher’s to raise them for me.

I send them to get the same things homeschoolers want to give them: an education that is quality, well rounded and beneficial to their future.

I should not be bashed for doing something differently than another mother. Especially when the desire for success and happiness with my kids is the exact same as any homeschooler.

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