Everything Else is Gravy

I was on a Twitter party earlier today and the question was posed, ‘What dreams and aspirations did you have for your kids when they were born.’ My immediate thought and answer was, “I just wanted them with me for life… everything else is gravy.’ I can not believe how absolutely true and raw this statement is. I actually had to sit and think for a minute. Is that it? It that all I want for my kids?

The truth is, yes. I really could care less what they grow up to be. I am OK with any profession they choose, that is legal, of course. I don’t push for them to be doctors or lawyers or teachers. I just want them happy. Happy, confident, kind and generous.

I get into discussions with my friends all the time about this. Some want their kids to go into family businesses, some want them to be rich and successful so they can take care of the parents, some want them to marry well and have a ton of babies.

I just want them happy.

I honestly don’t care of they are gay or straight, are married or not, or have a typical career.

I just want them here. On this Earth with me. To love, cherish, appreciate and share our lives together.

It seems so simple, doesn’t it?

Maybe it is because I have already known great loss in my life. Maybe it is because I know how absolutely precious life is and how valuable family is. Maybe it is because I have my head in the clouds and am ignoring the trials and tribulations ahead by not guiding my kids into something I deem that will make them happy.

I am a firm believer, and have learned in my 42 unorthodox years, that things that matter in someones life are not things. They are actions. If you are kind, kindness will come to you. If you are loving, love will come to you. If you are honest, honesty will come to you. If you are generous, generosity will come to you.

I do want my girls to work hard at anything they do. I want them to get their education so that their world is more open to them. I want them to build life long friendships and to understand that anything worth having is worth working for.

I hope, that by my example of being a single mom, owning her business and working from home, that they learn that perseverance and dedication are qualities necessary to give them more options in their life. I hope I make them proud and that they learn the how amazing it is to be proud of themselves too.

But as far as who they grow up to be. I don’t care. As long as they grow up, along side me, with smiles and laughter and support and honesty through the hard times.

I just want them with me for life… everything else is gravy.