I thought motherhood would be easy. I thought I would be good at it. I thought that if I just showered my kids with enough love and attention that behavioral issues would be kept to a minimum.
I was oh, so sadly, wrong.
I don’t care what I do for my precious angels, whom I’d like to think I shower with love, attention, understanding and cleverly disguised patience – and by cleverly disguised I mean none – they continue to challenge my ability to be rational on a daily basis.
Forget that they do not sleep through the night. Forget that, except for little Megan, they do not eat a lick of what I make. And forget that the sassiness in this household is at fever pitch.
Let’s talk blatant disobedience. And tantrums for not getting their way. And the ignoring of basic instructions from their hard working, stressed out, mother. And when I am giving them instructions on how to do things, they just start talking right over me like I do not exist.
And the daily struggle to get all three of them happy at the same time.
IM -Possible!
So I am throwing the “Oh honey, please listen to Mommy, I am trying to teach you how to be sweet!” out the window and I am embracing my inner mean mommy!
No more Mrs. Nice Mommy!
These kids are about to awaken to a whole new world where discipline rules and expensive toys get thrown in the – virtual – trash! There will be an increase in time out’s, in room suspensions, and groundings from my Little Pony parties. Barbie will not be allowed to drive her new pink convertible and baby’s stroller will disappear into the night.
Sisters will be separated, girls will be forced to play dress up with imaginary dresses, and children will be sent to the corner to make friends with the spiders!
And that, my friends, is the final word! No more ridiculousness will prevail in this household! I am putting my foot down! Solidifying my position! Demanding my respect! Taking charge of this day!
Yes… that is what will happen!
As God as my witness, this WILL be the law!
Well… hold on. Sarah just came out and gave me a sloppy kiss and hug and said, “I love you Mommy.” and I hear Katie calling from the other room that she had dreams of butterflies and rainbows, and Megan is yelling, “Mamaaaa!” from her crib, ready to greet me with that precious smile.
And they will laugh, and hug, and kiss, and play and tell me their stories, and remind me that each of them has hearts of gold and innocence in their soul.
They will make me proud among all of the muck. Impress me with their brilliance, stun me with their kindness, and make me laugh until my side hurts.
Who could be mean to that? Stifle those qualities just because a little food got thrown on the floor?
Why would I want to?
OK – so maybe I embrace my inner mean mommy, keep her two steps behind for the days when things are really out of control, but try to not let her come out when the intentions are pure. Utilize her in moments of desperation only.
And tone her down a tad.
Because today they may be babies… but tomorrow they will be adults.
And the constant mean mommy would prevent the in love mommy from seeing the wonderfulness of that very fast, over too soon, beautiful progression.
**Originally Published 07/18/11**
I love this post. I completely understand. I think for those of us with children born so terribly close together there is a special challenge. The two closest-in-age siblings think they are twins, but their needs and abilities are still different. And they gang up on us, too! And just when we’re about to gain dominance over the unruly first two, the youngest comes barreling in with emerging toddler demands and it all goes up in smoke.
We need to embrace our “tough” mommy. That’s not the same as being mean. And like you said, they’ll be adults one day, hopefully good ones, so sometimes it is vital to pull out the tough side. They’ll love us just as much for it, if not more.
Thank you Tamara! I agree that these kids so close together adds to the
stress and frustrations of getting them to conform to what we want them to
do! Tough Mommy would have been better in description, I think too.
Because it is not necessarily “mean” to try to teach them discipline!
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Great post! I feel my mean mommy coming out some days then those big brown eyes stare at my & my little one says “I love you Mamu” and it’s a lot harder for the mean mommy to come out.
Yes.. .then she has to be suppressed with the proverbial steel toe boot.
But some days…. LOL