But I also wondered, Do I Deserve the Credit for my Kid’s Successes? Do I really? Isn’t it just by nature that she is my little activist and fighter for the underdog? Do I really deserve any of the credit?
During the holiday season many things fall on a mom’s shoulders. We take it, we handle it and we move on to the next thing as the pressure of having to get one thing done merges into something else we have to get done. During December, with my work life taking 10 – 12 hours a day, my oldest daughter came home and asked if I would be the homeroom mom for their holiday party. No other mom had stepped up and the teacher was frantic trying to put it together. I had not even figured out how I would find the time to go to the parties for the girls, much less to add party planning duties to my plate. But as she stood there, blue eyes begging, I could not say no. I rarely can to them.
So I added more to my plate. More work, more creativity, more time. I made a photo booth, came up with the idea to do photo ornaments using my cell phone and cell printer, planned and shopped for the food, the ornament items and other essentials and planned the party. I got to the school on time, which was no easy feat on a Friday when work was calling, and set everything up while the kids were out at recess.
Pressure reduced slightly, I got to work snapping photos and helping the kids make ornaments. The teacher came up and shared her appreciation and all was going well. I put aside for a moment that I had to gather everything up and head out early to my other two daughters Christmas parties at their school, and soaked up the fun and entertainment of a room full of 10 and 11 year olds!
At one point, I went up to ask the teacher a question. She was standing there with another woman. I asked my question and started to leave when the other woman asked, Are you Katie’s mom?. I said yes and she started talking, her hand resting sincerely over her heart as she did.
‘You are really raising her right. She is such a kind and accepting child. She is just a blessing to have in this school. She always talks about the people you guys are helping, donating toys, wanting to do more for people who don’t have much. It is such a wonderful thing to see and I truly love her. You are such a great mom to be bringing her up this way.’
I won’t lie. When I hear compliments about my kids, I sometimes freeze. I wait for the other shoe to drop. I don’t know why. It is probably because I am terrible at taking compliments. I always brush them off, as I think a lot of women do, with an excuse meant to take the glow off the pride. As I stammered to respond, Katie’s teacher joined in too. She heaped praise after praise onto her, talking about how helpful she is to everyone, how creative and funny she is and how she is always telling kids to speak kind.
By the time they were done all I could do was stammer out some words like Thank You and, ‘she was just born that way.’ I told them, with complete honesty, that these girls make it easy to be a single mom. That I love kids but most of them drive me crazy. That I am blessed that God chose me to be their mother. I truly feel that way. I do.
But as I walked away to clean up the party and head to Sarah and Megan’s school and parties, I did beam with pride. Just as any mother would! But I also wondered, Do I Deserve the Credit for my Kid’s Successes? Do I really? Isn’t it just by nature that she is my little activist and fighter for the underdog? Do I really deserve any of the credit?
I have had this discussion with friends and my parents, where I honestly feel like I am bragging which bugs me too, and I still have a hard time accepting that it has anything to do with me. Yes. My kids come with me when I donate things and hear all the time about kindness and acceptance of others. But I know almost every mom does the exact same things too. But they sometimes hit a wall. I know awesome moms and women who have kids who are not getting compliments at school. They also take them donating and I hear them preaching about kindness and the strength within them that can change the world. But it seems to fall on deaf ears.
So I find it hard to take the credit. Do I offer guidance, yes! So does every other mom out there. Every teacher, every pastor, every family member and friend my daughter comes in contact with has an impact. It can’t just land on me.
But I will say, the feeling you get when your child is complimented so well is euphoric. I am so proud of my girls and all that they do well. I am really a blessed mom to have them in my life.
Of course, none are teenagers yet. So stay tuned… it all could change with hormones!!!
I believe children are who they are, born with qualities and own character. But when I think of your question, read your post and think of my own. I think that our children are individuals who deserve credit for who they are, but I think they they are a reflection of us.
I applaud my children for thier efforts, heart and success. But I often wonder if I were not there, if I would have not sacrifice what so many others did not. What kind of person my children would be.
I guess what I am saying is that it’s a bit of both.
I love this and I agree. I, too, wonder what decisions my kids would make if I were not here to nudge them along the way. In the end, I would hope that their natural guidance would be to better themselves! Thank you for reading and your comment! It is much appreciated!!
We have always said that our son needed the pat on back to. Of course we have taught them things like be polite etc but he is the one using his manners. Does that make sense. If somebody mentions either of my boys and says something nice about what they have done we tell our children about it later.
Yep, it makes sense! And I think reinforcement to kids is always a wonderful thing :) Thank you for reading!