April 11, 2013 marks the official end of my legal marriage. Over years ago and thrilled that I can honestly say I am FINALLY divorced – seriously, I am throwing a party (is that bad?) – I am facing a new challenge. One that I am unfamiliar with and don’t quite know how to handle.
Dating. As a single mom. With 3 kids. That live with me.
Hmmm….
Now, to be honest, I have ZERO desire for a complicated, meet my kids, come to birthday parties type of relationship. I don’t want another husband in this lifetime and my kids already have a dad. Plus, I have seen my kids go through the stress of watching their dad move out and almost immediately move in with someone else. I am not going to add to that stress – no matter how much I think I want to have a friend in my life.
But, let’s face it, I am not an ‘alone’ type of girl. I like to go out, have fun, try new things, meet new people and I want to get back into traveling if I can. And though my girlfriends are AWESOME and important, they also have families and things to do and are not available when I am all the time.
Plus, it would be nice to have a gentleman that can hold a conversation and be available for nice dinners and movies and all of that ‘dating’ stuff. I know, I know…. can’t I pretend I can have it all?
So here is the dilemma. If memory serves me correctly, my previous marriage dating experience proved that I am really really bad at it. So I already have a strike against me. I am an over sharer by nature (hence my life chronicled to perfect online strangers on a daily basis!), and I tend to say really stupid things that turn men off. So, I am a little shell shocked to begin with.
Add to that the fact that I can literally only ‘date’ every other weekend and maybe some time during the summer and I think I am facing a serious uphill battle! How in the world does anyone do this?
And where, pray tell, am I even supposed to meet anyone to date? I am not a ‘bar’ type of girl and rarely drink anymore and – let’s face it, no matter what skin care I use – I am so not 21! I suppose I can go online but I have talked to people about that and it just seems S C A R Y!
I can go to single functions at my Church – if there were any singles in my family oriented, retiree based Church – and I guess I could head to bars at nice restaurants on my days alone . I can be that weirdo drinking an Iced Tea and texting my friends that everyone is married with a child in their lap at my suburban themes restaurants around me. Or I can just hope that some attractive guy walks up to my door and proposes a non serious, fun loving, dating relationship that only happens twice a month.
Hmmm… seems like the probabilities are against me, huh?
Which really – to be totally honest – is OK with me!
But, I ask, to be totally informed…. Is it even remotely possible that I be able to find someone to date, share great foods with, travel occasionally and laugh with with no intention of it ever becoming a marriage situation? Does that even exist?
Or should I start collecting cats and learning how to accept that single moms are just that until the kids are off to college?
Find more Motherhood Posts at My Recent Writings
lol Oh, Lori! I feel your pain. I didn’t see anyone for almost 5 yrs and the first guy I met was terrible. Then I waited a little more and guess where I found the man I’m currently dating…Twitter. hahahaha Totally unexpected. Just happened to be talking to him in one of our groups. I didn’t have the option of every other weekend, because my boys’ dad never really saw them. I was a full time single mom. If I ever wanted to go do anything, I had to ask friends. I had no family living nearby…as in by states away! There was NO one at my church that I didn’t already know and was anywhere near who I’d date. I’m not keen on 70 yr old me as a date. No bars for this chick and that left me to the guys who came into my hardware store, none of which ever passed the mustard with me. All I can say is take your time because it’s just not an easy road. lol I missed dating after a number of years, but relationships aren’t easy as we both know. It’ll come in time. Just don’t rush it. =)
Please let me know when you figure this out!!! LOL. I’m a single Mom and like Mimi my child’s father sees her when I take her by his work….. I’m not going to bars…… seems online is mainly for what got my lo here…lol. I don’t think there is a person over 25 in my church “singles” group….. I would like to meet someone. I’ve never been married but quite honestly I just feel hopeless. just waiting on God in the mean time and praying HARD!!!! ;)