April 11, 2013 marks the official end of my legal marriage. Over years ago and thrilled that I can honestly say I am FINALLY divorced – seriously, I am throwing a party (is that bad?) – I am facing a new challenge. One that I am unfamiliar with and don’t quite know how to handle.
Dating. As a single mom. With 3 kids. That live with me.
Now, to be honest, I have ZERO desire for a complicated, meet my kids, come to birthday parties type of relationship. I don’t want another husband in this lifetime and my kids already have a dad. Plus, I have seen my kids go through the stress of watching their dad move out and almost immediately move in with someone else. I am not going to add to that stress – no matter how much I think I want to have a friend in my life.
But, let’s face it, I am not an ‘alone’ type of girl. I like to go out, have fun, try new things, meet new people and I want to get back into traveling if I can. And though my girlfriends are AWESOME and important, they also have families and things to do and are not available when I am all the time.
Plus, it would be nice to have a gentleman that can hold a conversation and be available for nice dinners and movies and all of that ‘dating’ stuff. I know, I know…. can’t I pretend I can have it all?
So here is the dilemma. If memory serves me correctly, my previous marriage dating experience proved that I am really really bad at it. So I already have a strike against me. I am an over sharer by nature (hence my life chronicled to perfect online strangers on a daily basis!), and I tend to say really stupid things that turn men off. So, I am a little shell shocked to begin with.
Add to that the fact that I can literally only ‘date’ every other weekend and maybe some time during the summer and I think I am facing a serious uphill battle! How in the world does anyone do this?
And where, pray tell, am I even supposed to meet anyone to date? I am not a ‘bar’ type of girl and rarely drink anymore and – let’s face it, no matter what skin care I use – I am so not 21! I suppose I can go online but I have talked to people about that and it just seems S C A R Y!
I can go to single functions at my Church – if there were any singles in my family oriented, retiree based Church – and I guess I could head to bars at nice restaurants on my days alone . I can be that weirdo drinking an Iced Tea and texting my friends that everyone is married with a child in their lap at my suburban themes restaurants around me. Or I can just hope that some attractive guy walks up to my door and proposes a non serious, fun loving, dating relationship that only happens twice a month.
Hmmm… seems like the probabilities are against me, huh?
Which really – to be totally honest – is OK with me!
But, I ask, to be totally informed…. Is it even remotely possible that I be able to find someone to date, share great foods with, travel occasionally and laugh with with no intention of it ever becoming a marriage situation? Does that even exist?
Or should I start collecting cats and learning how to accept that single moms are just that until the kids are off to college?
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