On July 9th, I kissed my youngest baby girl Good Morning and sang her Happy Birthday. I warned her to drink up because weaning was upon her. She bit me in protest, and I let the tears of time traveling too fast trickle down my face.
We had the wonderful party filled with friends and family and again were humbled by the generosity of those we know. If it were not for them, I would have no one to complain to. So my thanks is defiantly heart felt.
After the party was over and we cleaned up the overflowing toilet in my oldest daughters’ room that flooded two closets, a bathroom, and one quarter of a bedroom… don’t worry, we are used to dramatic birthday parties, remind me to tell you about Life Flight at Sarah’s first birthday party… we took a family nap and woke up with a knowledge people should never have to admit to…
We now are the proud owners… or parents for the PC crowd… of a One, Two and Three year old.
Yes, let the ovary clenching begin. We had 3 kids in 4 years and lived to tell about it!
I had looked forward to this moment since the dollar store test showed a faint line – or seven lines, who is counting? After dancing around my living room in celebratory naivete, I decided to call my ex-husband. I was all out of “Let’s surprise Daddy” ideas so at 8:30am, I stunned him for the day. Literally, he could not speak. You would think he would have been used to this by now! I peppily told him that, at least one day, we’d be able to freak people out and say “I have a one, two and three year old!”
I don’t think that helped him much. So I called him several times to ask him if he was ok. Mostly out of worry that he be freaking out about another child and end up at a bar, never to come home again.
Because he was the one on an alcohol ban for 9 months, you know. And for that pleasure, he would get nauseous, fat – er and more emotional than usual. He would have to buy jeans that were too long just because they had a stretchy waist, hang up his platforms for flip flops and stay awake at night with gas and constipation wondering what it would be like to take the Activia challenge and win it.
Moving on…
In true honesty, I can not imagine my life without my Megan. She is the sweetest baby. Naps when I want her to, sleeps through the night – unlike my other two – and just is an all and all good baby. The thought of life without her is impossible.
But I will say, the thought of telling people that I have a one, two and three year old, if only for three weeks, is exciting. I am anticipatory of the reactions and will relish them with pride! C- section scars rejoice- we’re about to make people cross their legs in protest!
I got just that chance the other day while at the neighborhood pool. The sky darkened and, truth be told, I was looking for a reason to leave. I felt huge for my size 14 bathing suit and I could not remember the last time I shaved… down there… so…..
I forecast thunder and lightening to the children and God helped me out with a few sprinkles. I gathered up my spice rack of sugar and spice and wrapped them all like burritos lest they run and I not be able to catch them.
While attempting to dry them and instructing them and using my drill Sargent voice, I notice another mother across the way organizing her daughter and trying to steal an obviously abandoned towel. I do not judge… times are hard. She looks at me and I smile and hear “They are soooooo precious!”
Newbie.
“How old are they?”
Ha! My chest pump up like I visited a plastic surgeon to have them lifted.
Here we go!
“She is one, she is two and she is three.”
Sit back… wait for it…
“OH MY GOSH!”
Seriously, I thought I was going to have to call a paramedic. She grabbed her stomach, as if her heart had fallen out of her belly button, and exclaimed “I do NOT know how you do it! I have an eight year old and she has about killed me! You have your hands full!”
OK, let’s get one thing out there. I don’t care how many kids you have – one, three or twenty, parenting is HARD and we ALL have our hands full!
But I will say, honestly, after three pregnancies all ending in c – sections and now 3 little Diva’s who need so much from me that I feel drained from sun up to sun down, it was slightly satisfying to hear someone feel for me! Even if I do know where babies come from. And how to stop them – surgery. And it is all my fault. So bite me.
Don’t hate me for relishing in the thought that there is pity out there for those of us who are birth control challenged.
I look forward to these three weeks like a twelve year old readying for Christmas. I will plan family outings solely meant to induce looks of disbelief, judgements of stupidity and arrogance of knowledge and will parade my children like ponies in the Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Because though I would not trade a single one for anything in this world, I will pimp them out for my own entertainment and satisfaction!
Originally published 07/12/2010
You go, Mama!! Congrats!!
Nora, proud mom to four boys in five years! ;)
Birth Control Challenged….lol!
my sisters and I are the same, just older. Oldest born August 72, me July 73, youngest September 74. It’s all good! lol
Those are some close birthdays! Thanks for reading and commenting!
I loved telling people mine were 1, 2, and 3…when I was hugely preggers with #4. People stopped making eye contact, and I wanted to wear a shirt that said…”I have two degrees, and yes…I know what causes this.”
Rofl!!! Now that is a good one!!!
Oh my I thought I was the only one that did some activities just to get the stares when they figure out I am alone. I had three children in 31 months. HAHA all beautiful c sections okay not so beautiful because number 3 nearly killed me but not holding that against her. She was a girl and wanted to make a huge impact with two older brothers to compete with. I am a military spouse and I am alone most of the time. Seriously shared custody would mean he saw the kids more than he does now. Anyways I am famous for taking my kids every where. We do the beach the board walk and I have even taken a few vacations to beautiful places alone with my children. I tell them it is because life can not stop every time their dad is gone but I secretly love the looks I get. I love feeling like a strong mom because most days they make me want to cry but like you said I think that is with one, two or twenty. But Parade is the right word and I am so proud of my little ones and one day I hope to tell them about all the places mommie took them all alone.
You are awesome!! I’m a single
Mom and I know how hard it is to always have kids in two but it is totally with it and we can handle It!!
My aunt had 5 stairstep children and then a 10 year break and 2 more. It was a lot of fun!
Oh I bet that was!! LOL
wowzer we had 4, my two and his two, combined into the family, when we met the kids were only 2. 3. 4. 5. the oldest just turned 5 and entering school that year. And all are born in June a week apart, June and December were our big months. As the got older we had to decide about having a big party or single parties in June.