I am not going to name any names, link to any posts or refer to any particular incident here. Because you, as my real mom readers, could probably care what goes on behind the scenes of the blogging world. But when I see that opinions and uneducated posts go up about people in this world, the companies they work with and the fans they have, I have to stop and think about the purpose of social media in general.
I am a pretty positive person about things. I KNOW that I am extremely lucky and blessed that anyone takes the time to read my words. Every comment is taken with deep gratitude – whether it be here, on my Facebook page, my Twitter feed or any other social media page I can be found on – and any online friendship I form is cherished as if we had coffee together every morning.
When I am lucky enough to actually meet other bloggers, reps from companies or readers, I am over the moon. And, maybe it is naive of me, but I just assume everyone else online feels the same way I do.
So it is always a shock to my system when I see bloggers bashing bloggers, bloggers ripping fans a new one, or bloggers attacking companies and the people who represent them for the sole goal of drawing attention to them selves. In my three years online, I have never seen a negative post or comment be rewarded nor increase the positive opinion of the person who posted it.
The other day, one of my friends sent me a text message with a message from a blogger to a fan that was so deeply offensive I immediately unliked her page and took her off of my “promotion” list. The terms she used in an open forum to define her reader who was only voicing her opinion was deplorable. I can not imagine what would possess a seemingly professional person to do that to someone who was a part of their community.
I get scolded, smarted off to and disagreed with all the time. And I never remove those opinions, emails or comments – unless they include profanity – because it is not my job to alter opinions. And everyone has a reason for having theirs. And though it breaks my heart when someone forms a false opinion about me and what I am trying to say, they are, in fact, entitled – just as I am – to voice it.
But it can certainly go too far.
Two other things that just simply went too far happened just this week that made me shake my head in amazement and wonder what the purpose of spewing negativity online was.
One was a national newspaper that was so incredibly disrespectful to mom bloggers and the entire community that I was sick. Those that do not understand that most of us put in 10 -12 hours every single day no matter what are sharing their opinions that are based on nothing but the end result of getting attention. I would never go online and post something about another profession in such a negative manner. So this article hit a nerve and makes me want to work even harder to spread the positive about bloggers and our intentions of good. We all work very hard and it IS a job. Not a job to get free stuff or reduce our ethics to promote someone… but a job we love and respect and appreciate. Most bloggers are like me. We only promote what we love. I would say no one I work with “sells their soul” for the almighty buck. I’ve never seen a business that lasts doing that and I want to last!
Proving we are not all the same, there were several bloggers this week that went after someone who did not deserve it in any way. This career impacting smear campaign was based on an altered image that had nothing to do with anything at all. And the opinion that was being spread was completely uneducated and from people who have never even met the person they attacked. My heart aches for someone who is so viciously used for the pageviews that the bloggers are reaping based on slander.
I have to say that I think any maliciously intended posts, comments and promotions are bad blogging and social media practices. Word spreads fast in the online world and – aside from the instant gratification of temporary attention – word spread about who was at the root of it is more damaging to the spreader in the end than the victim. Reputation is EVERYTHING online and I, personally would never want to be categorized as mean, unprofessional or hard to work with.
I am all for the truth. And I am all for honestly telling your side of things for the benefit of education. I am not for using someone else’s reputation, comments and profession to gain temporary satisfaction for myself.
And as a reader of blogs, I immediately turn away from bashing and negativity in a heartbeat. I think the world is tough enough. Healthy debate, fair arguments and a clear representation of the truth make great bloggers and small business owners. Disgusting disregard of others feelings and the truth for your own gain is just bad blogging practice.
What do you think as readers? Do you love controversial blogs that are aimed at attention seeking practices? Or do you form an opinion about someone who posts like that? And if a blogger disrespected you openly, how would you feel? I want to know!
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Great post Lori! I think people who go contraversial by attacking others are simply looking to draw attention to themselves. So often people do not even think that the time they spend bashing others could be so much more productive if it was instead used to help build others up. Yes, we are all different but from ever blogger I have ever met, we all have the same goal – to share our voice, do what we love and help support our families. And stirring up issues and attacking each other accomplishes none of these goals! How much stronger of a community could we be if we worked as hard at building each other up as we often do tearing each other down.
I could not agree more, Jeanette. I think we would all grow and be a better community if we helped one another!! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
Great post Lori. I do find so many things that upset me on how truly evil we can be to each other. Mean people are just horrible. It almost scares me at the power of the keyboard to publish untruths and lies is becoming so powerful.
Yes- it is a powerful instrument. Unfortunately people see it as a ways to an end instead of a tool to be positive! I so wish that everyone could understand the devastating impact typing can have. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
I have to agree. I recently posted an article called “Don’t be a Cow” that basically said not be a cow online when dealing with others or big brands. It’s called etiquette and I think we too often forget about it online. I’d like to say I am shocked about the stuff that went down this week, but it’s not the first time I’ve seen it, nor will it be the last sadly.
Yes, it is very sad indeed. I think people thing that they can do what they want and never have to say I’m sorry online. ‘It will pass’ is a lot harder to happen online than in the real world. This stuff is out there forever!
Great post…I honestly can’t stand it when I see a blogger or anyone else for that matter bashing someone. And if I happen to follow a blogger on Facebook, Twitter or whatever and I notice them bashing someone or posting lots of negative things in order to draw attention to themselves then I am likely to just unlike the page right then and there. When I see people bashing each other online I see it as a form of bullying and that is something that I despise.
Thank you Heather. It is quite ridiculous isn’t it? Seems to me that lifting people up is more important than tearing them down!
Totes agree with you! Well said! :)
settlingintomotherhood.com
Thank you!!
And I got your email…. give me a week or so please, I am prepping to leave for a conference and am SWAMPED! LOL
Great post!! I read a lot of blogs. I don’t like the bloggers who attack others or post negative comments about fellow bloggers. When I see that kind of behavior I usually unlike their page and will not follow them in any form. I don’t care if they have a giveaway for a million dollars. Bottom line is that those bloggers are bullies, cyber bullies to be precise. I want nothing to do with a bully. They have no value to add to my life. I have learned of so many causes, products and countless things from blogs. I enjoy reading a blog that has good content and can widen my views on things. Isn’t that the goal behind most blogs? People need to realize words can hurt peoples feelings as well as their reputation. My mother always taught us treat others as you would like to be treated. I wish more people lived by those words.
Thank you for taking a stand against the bullies.
I could not agree more. There is enough pressure just to be fair and balanced in this virtual world and adding a level of hatred is unneccessary. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!
Great post! I agree with everything you said.
Thank you Jean!
Having read a gazillion posts, comments and general discussions about this the past few days, I have to say… yours was 1 of the most positive takes on it! :)
Many of the others, while had good intentions, seemed to turn it into the exact same thing they were voicing out against… more hatefulness, just directed at a different person. It really got quite out of hand. In psychology, it’s called the ‘mob mentality’.. you wouldn’t say most of those tings alone, face to face to someone but you certainly jump on the bandwagon with 40 others to do it… such a time suck. And, no one listens to the other side when everyone is yelling at each other anyways.
And what I always walk away from these situations thinking is … why do we as a group of {women!!} bloggers seek to belittle, disrespect and crawl over each other? Why and when did it become OK to hope and even encourage others to feel hurt and fail? Since when did helping and encouraging {other women!!!} become wrong? Why so ‘cut throat’? The internet is a huge space… last I checked there’s still plenty of room for each other. A nice welcome basket and a glass of wine to your new neighbor make for a much more peaceful ‘neighborhood’ than yelling at each other over the privacy fence.
Knock it off…
Well thank you! I am not a negative person by nature so seeing some of the things that have blasted across the blogosphere lately has been disheartning. I so appreciate you comments and hope this all teaches everyone a lesson!
I don’t often comment, but when I do it’s on a subject that I can really relate to in some way. I was the target of something a little different on a bloggers facebook page about a year and a half ago. I won a prize on her blog that I really wanted. It was for some jewelry cleaner – nothing big, but I was out of it at home and thought it was cool that I got it.I had literally done every entry she offered. Well, when all was said and done, since I was the only one who had entered, and she supposedly could not find my name following by GFC (which I had to be to comment – I even sent her a screenshot showing my profile and that she was on my list of blogs I followed) she suddenly called the contest as though no one won and extended the deadline so more people could enter. When I asked her why on her facebook page since I could show proof that I had indeed followed the rules and should not have been disqualified, she said she was sticking to her guns and not giving me the prize. I told her I understood that companies need to see that bloggers can get people to enter their contests so that they can continue to get things to review and giveaway, and maybe there would be more that would enter the next contest since she obviously had a lot of people who liked her page.(Truthfully I think she never even really worked at getting the word out and posting it more than one time, which is why so many people probably missed it.) Then she let several people on her page bash me on her page for days about how it was her prize to give and if she couldn’t find me on her GFC list (even with my screenshot) that I must be the one who broke the rules and how they were all entering and not to worry. Then when a new winner was picked the winner posted on the page for the blogger to give it to me since it obviously meant so much to me (it was said very hatefully – not in a nice way). These people were so mean and hateful and all I was trying to do was collect a prize I had taken the time to enter and really wanted. I was sorry that no one else had entered or that the blogger then looked bad because this company had to be told how few entries there were, but I did everything by the book and with a good heart. These people were calling me names and she never once stepped in to my defence or to clarify their misconceptions about what was going on between us in private inbox emails. Of course, I unsubscribed from the blog and blocked the email page, but I have to tell you the hurt is still there when I think about it. I know that I am a good person, who works in EMS and has spent my career saving lives and helping people when they need it most. Much of it as a volunteer and on my own time in the middle of the night or whenever I’m needed. I don’t like cheaters and I don’t believe in it. If you have to cheat to get something, how can you feel good about that? The internet has made it too easy to be mean to each other because so many people know they will never meet you face to face and can get away with saying whatever they want. I’m here to tell you, the assumptions you make are not always correct, no matter how much you THINK you know about a blogger or a situation between that blogger and reader. And sometimes what you say hurts and the scars never go away.
Wow, I have lots of thoughts! First of all, I love how you managed to complain about something without it sounding like you were complaining. You were able to point out a negative without bashing. Cool! As you know, very few have that talent.
As someone who is a journalist by trade, I know all too well about having your industry maligned. Everyone blames “the media” and lumps all of us in together like we’re a collective force like the Borg or something! Completely infuriating.
I too fail to understand the need to go after people online. It’s juvenile. It’s rude. It says a LOT more about the basher than the bashee. I have had people say I should call out non-paying clients on social media and I just won’t do it.
Enjoyed this!