I have three daughters, age 5 and under. They have supplied me with laughter, tears, frustration, and other typical mothering advantages. For a while now, I have been documenting things that I say throughout my days that just make me stop and shake my head or throw it back in laughter. I have filtered them out and now present you with my Top 10 Things I Never Thought I Would Say to my Children!
10) If you are going to pee on the floor, please do it on that rug over there. I don’t like it very much anyway.
9) You now get to eat that macaroni off of the dirty floor. No, leave the dog hair on it. Consider it protein!
8) Please get a new Kleenex when you wipe your nose. Don’t use the same one your sister used to wipe hers.
7) Please do not wear my bra as pants… and my underwear as a hat.
6) If you are going to insist on hitting your sister, stay away from her face.
5) Yes, you may have popcorn, chocolate milk, and Oreos for breakfast. Now let Mommy get her coffee.
4) What do you think you are going “go hammer” with that hammer, young lady!?
3) I kid you not – I will forbid you to date until you are 30 if you throw that at my head!
2) Just take note of this injustice and pay me back for it when you are a teenager!
And the number one thing I never, ever, in a million years,because I hated hearing it when I was young…
1) You’ll thank me for this one day!
**Originally Published 07/15/2012**
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