I have three daughters, age 5 and under. They have supplied me with laughter, tears, frustration, and other typical mothering advantages. For a while now, I have been documenting things that I say throughout my days that just make me stop and shake my head or throw it back in laughter. I have filtered them out and now present you with my Top 10 Things I Never Thought I Would Say to my Children!
10) If you are going to pee on the floor, please do it on that rug over there. I don’t like it very much anyway.
9) You now get to eat that macaroni off of the dirty floor. No, leave the dog hair on it. Consider it protein!
8) Please get a new Kleenex when you wipe your nose. Don’t use the same one your sister used to wipe hers.
7) Please do not wear my bra as pants… and my underwear as a hat.
6) If you are going to insist on hitting your sister, stay away from her face.
5) Yes, you may have popcorn, chocolate milk, and Oreos for breakfast. Now let Mommy get her coffee.
4) What do you think you are going “go hammer” with that hammer, young lady!?
3) I kid you not – I will forbid you to date until you are 30 if you throw that at my head!
2) Just take note of this injustice and pay me back for it when you are a teenager!
And the number one thing I never, ever, in a million years,because I hated hearing it when I was young…
1) You’ll thank me for this one day!
**Originally Published 07/15/2012**
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LOL. I’ve said quite a few similar things myself. Never a dull moment.
Nope, never a dull one!
I have said a few of those myself LOL. The craziest thing I think I’ve ever said, though. is “did you just swallow a rock”. Haha!
Lol. That’s a good one!
So sorry. Really hard to comment when you have sprayed your coffee all over the laptop!
LOL -Good, it had the desired affect!!
Haha! Well, I can’t say I’ve said all of those before, I’m certain I’ve said some of them. What about “I told you so?”
Yep – that’s a popular one!
Hilarious. I find myself saying a few of these as well. Amazing the things we say as parents!
I know!!!
Too funny! I’ve said that about hitting. Hit each other, just not in the face!
I say it
To
This day!
LOL! There are so many things I tell my kids that I can’t believe come out of my mouth.
Same here!!
I gave my toddler a cookie after he ate his oatmeal the other morning. My husband questioned me. I just asked him not to judge. :)
That’s a good mama – lol
Hahaha – #10 is hilarious! We always told our daughter was find to pick her nose as long as she didn’t eat it.
Rofl!!
I’m trying to figure out any situation where I’d say #10 in my head. Still thinking! – Jenn @ The Rebel Chick
lol. Or shocked me too!
3 under 5? How do you do it!
Well this was 2 years ago – that are all under 7 now. lol
#9 cracked me up! Consider the hair protein LMBO!
Hahaha :)
This is hilarious! I guess my number one thing I never thought I would say to ANYONE, was something that I said to my 2 year old son. I kid you not I actually uttered, “No Son, I do not think that your weenie is mad at you…” Yeh.
Omg!!! Rofl!!! That’s a good one
Haha oh this made my day.I have been guilty of letting my kids have some cookies before breakfast just so i could get my coffee lol.
Lol – I am so glad :)
This is so funny!!! I don’t have kids yet but this is giving me good insight of what it will be like!
Oh be prepared!! HAHA
Oh yes, I laughed out loud! I’m definitely guilty of some of these :)
LOL- I think we all are :)
I hope you got that correct rug peed on after you made that statement. ;) It’s nuts the things we find ourselves saying!
LOL – that only happened once but it was hysterical!
Hahahaha, those are awesome. This one was my favorite: 5) Yes, you may have popcorn, chocolate milk, and Oreos for breakfast. Now let Mommy get her coffee.
LOL – that one is almost weekly!
i say crazy things but mostly for a reaction. My kids are older so they get the sarcasm but understand the real meaning and seriousness behind it.
LOL- oh the “for real?” looks are priceless!
I love this! It’s amazing what things we say we won’t do or say to our children and it’s quite hilarious! With two tween girls and a 5 year old boy in my house it’s amazing all the crazy fun stuff that goes on at our house lol
Oh my gosh, I bet you have some crazy ones!! LOL
Yup, I laughed. Thanks for that. The things we end up saying when kids are involved…sigh.
LOL -you are welcome! :)
I agree with the breakfast statement. This morning my toddler reached for chips from the counter, and I’m like sure. Go fer it.
Yep, they have corn after all… LOL
So true! Especially about the Oreo’s for breakfast. I find that I am much more lax with my second child than my first. I never would have dreamed of letting my first get away with as much as my second does lol.
Ohhhh my 3rd is so spoiled
#1 is very common around here as well as #9. I mean, 5 second rule, right? Chrystal @ YUMeating.com
Lol – popular ones for sure :)
I laughed out loud at that first one and have TOTALLY suggested something similar about something I hated. lol
lol
Oh my I’m LOL here. I have a 2yr old toddler and I have said some things so far in her 2 years of living. Don’t kids just make your day? :)
Yes they do!!
I cannot agree with this list more, I am sure I can add to it raising these two boys I have! Love this, needed a little giggle. Thanks!
Lol. You are welcome!
Ha! What a great list. There one thing I swore I’d never say to my kids, and chuckle every time I say it. It’s “cry my hand full” which is from my Mom. When saying it, you have to cup your hands and hold them out to the child that is in full scale tantrum mode. It usually stops them dead in their tracks. LOL
Lol – I love this!!
I say some of the craziest things to my kids. I hope they never record me and play it back when I’m older as torture. LOL
Haha!!! Me too !!!
Great list. The protein comment. That sounds like something my husband would say! LOL!
LOL – seems like a reasonable one to me :)
Haha! I say weird stuff to my kid all the time. She just ignores me at this point.