… and how did I get mixed up in this crazy, thrilling, depressing, oddly addictive mess?

This is the question I pose to myself more and more these days.  Generally after spending more time than I care to admit on my blog, my posts, my Twitter, my Facebook, my analytics, my giveaway and review pursuits, and any other possible thing in the world I can connect to blogging and type on my little net book keyboard.

This is ridiculous.  I have no clue what I am doing.  I have no idea of how I have done it so far.  And I do not know how to move to the next level.

So,why, pray tell, do I spend countless hours – usually late into the night and early morning {bedtime is now getting closer to 2am}, doing so much writing and editing, rewriting and rewording, rereading and rethinking, post after post after post?  And why do I painstakingly work on a review and/ or giveaway for days on end?  And how many articles can I read on how to do this, how to navigate, how to build readers, what stats are most important, what captures an audience, how to please a sponsor, how to get a sponsor, how to do anything in this world to promote and create my own niche? Arrogantly assuming I even have one!

Lately, I have soaked up many posts about blogs and how to do and what to do and who to contact, know, download, bookmark, friend in this blogosphere, plus some great posts about different bloggers perspectives in this world.  I find that I am reading more about how to blog and less from the bloggers I love and want to keep up with.  And that, honestly, makes me sad.

In fact, it is not lost on me that my blog is quickly becoming a lot like my life. A complete mess that I have no idea how to run that I scurry around all day and all night trying to keep control of.  Some days, I do really well.  Others…  like today, I feel like I am drowning and that I have not one good thing to offer.

I know I am not the only one.  I have seen recent posts from people, really good writers and content providers – much better than me, throwing in the towel and shutting down. Comment like, “Why am I working so hard for 40 people a day to read it?” float through my twitter screen and stand out among the spam tweets.  I feel for these people because I know that they work just as hard as anyone and just get swallowed up in a world that is growing faster than most of us can keep up.

So, 9 months later, after never having read a blog in my lifetime before starting mine, I wonder still, “What the H*LL is a blogospere and how did I get mixed up in this crazy,  thrilling, depressing, oddly addictive mess?”

Just like, as a parent, I ask myself, “What the H*LL is this parenting thing and how did I get mixed up in this crazy, thrilling, depressing, oddly addictive mess?

I love my blog.  I do.  I love my readers more than I could ever express on paper – or screen.  And I appreciate every single click, read, page view, comment, like, tweet, opinion, and helpful tip that they provide.

And I know I am incredibly blessed.

But none of that stops me from the constant question of how I can do this better each day and the feelings of doubt that I can even do it well.  And I am glad for that.

Because without my blog and this wonderful world of insanity, I would not feel complete!

Want more on this subject?  Check out these great bloggers and their perspective!  And then link up your post or another post you have read that resonates on blogging to you!  Let’s support each other and help each other grow too!

Jill from Single Mom On A Budget wrote “10 Blogging ‘Hazards’ No One Told Me About” – a great post for Yahoo and their associated content!

Liz from a belle, a bean, & a chicago dog wrote “Why It Is OK To Be A ‘Bad’ Blogger” – a wonderful post about what she took away on the demands of blogging after attending Blissdom 2011.

Do you have a great post on this subject?  Or know of one we would all like to read?  Link it here!

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