I was a rock. A stickler with a day planner. A respectful member of the people who can tell time club. I could make plans 6 months out and others could depend on me to keep the appointment as if I had made it the day before.
I steadily got my hair done every 6 weeks, my nails every 2, and my facial at least once a quarter. I rotated my closet for winter, summer, by color and sleeve length, and my shoes always had a match and were placed lovingly together.
And my car was clean.
Yes… I was impressive.
But things have changed.
Oh have they changed.
In fact, I have now dubbed myself “Undependable Me”. Because no one can depend on me anymore, for anything. Not my job – which I am having to quit now because I can not seem to a) get there on time, b) consistently get there at all, and c) get anywhere on a consistent basis anymore anyway; not my friends – who have sadly waited on party RSVP’s until the very last minute – or not at all; not even my husband who relies on me to remember important dates and functions.
And I am so scatter brained that I am making a plain fool of myself. Just in the last 24 hours I realized that my inspection is out on my van – has been since December!, I have not had my oil changed on 10,000 miles, and I forgot to leave the water on last night. Causing us to wake to frozen pipes that have taken most of the day to get unfrozen.
I forgot to register Sarah for school next year – thank God they called me and I keep forgetting their tuition check that is sitting right in front of my face!
Really, it is getting ridiculous!
I am not sure when the change happened. When the brain chemistry altered and became unable to satisfy my internal need to be a responsible adult. When sending Thank You notes became obsolete and planning my day and my week was futile… since I can’t remember what I am doing anyway.
I really don’t get it!
I know I am not the only one though. Surely I can’t be. I hope I am not.
I mean, there had to be a reason to create automatic bill pay, right? Or reminder calls from Doctor’s offices? Or post it notes, white boards, and alarms on phones, nightstands, watches, and televisions. The reason we tell our friends to “call and remind us”.
So, I claim adulthood, life’s stresses, and, of course, I blame the kids and the husband and the dogs. For no other reason than I can.
Yep – that is my excuse. Not mommy brain. Not forgetfulness. Not old age. Not just plain absentminded adulthood. I am not an increasingly irresponsible, overly tired, have too much going on person. Nooo. That is ridiculous!
But one thing I know for sure… whatever the reason, manufactured or true, it needs to stop! Because it is annoying! And with all of the other labels I wear, I would really like to drop “Undependable Me”.