And though I think I know how to fix issues I have with them – not listening, tantrums, fighting – I really don’t. Otherwise I would have fixed them, right?
Not necessarily, actually!
Thanks to the new book Stop Reacting and Start Responding: 108 Ways to Discipline Consciously and Become the Parent You Want to Be, I am learning that I am a good parent and have the tools and instincts to modify the behaviors in my kids, but I might just be doing it wrong!
Luckily, I now have a new tool that not only seems to understand my struggles, but gives me concrete, easy to use and implement advice on how to deal and THINK my way through handling them.
The author, Sharon Silver, is an 18 year veteran as a Parent Educator. She has devoted her professional life to helping parents and children understand each other and spent her personal life implementing her ideas. Aimed at parents of children from 1 to 10, the books speaks clearly and rationally to any parent.
And makes sense.
Which is something I need in the heat of the battle.
I love the layout of the book. The clear titles that guide me straight to the section I need. Like yesterday, I needed help! I quickly consulted the book and found exactly what I needed in the section, Bossy & The Screamer. It saved my day.
“Mine! You don’t touch it ever again!”
Oh dear Heaven’s.
So, after consulting my handy new manual, reading the very short, but clearly written advice, I took my calm, and somewhat confident, self into the room to break up fight number 7659 – that day.
Instead of sending them both to time out, or to their rooms, or yelling right back at them, I sat and explained to Katie that she was the oldest and that there were better ways to handle things than the way she was. And then I explained to Sarah that whining just makes things worse. I asked them both to tell what they should do and then had them repeat that to me again (another lesson in the book).
To my surprise, just like with everything else I have used from the book in the past few weeks, this actually seemed to work. Until the next time.
But when they locked horns again, I was ready. Each time the typical reactions by both of them seemed to take longer and longer to appear again. So I know, with my consistency and DISCIPLINE – which is teaching – and not punishment, we could be on our way to a breakthrough!
And that would be amazing!
While no book will solve every issue that I may have with my children and my parenting, I do like that this one approaches the job from a stand point of everyone being on a sort of learning curve. I have to remember to teach my children and not simply react to them and their actions. I have to learn to think through my response and suppress the knee jerk actions I am used to.
Not an easy task for me. But no one ever said parenting was easy!
You can purchase the book at ProactiveParenting.net. You can sign up for their newsletter and receive a free ebook, 3 Things to do NOW to Stay Connected as You Correct Behavior.
In addition, the site offers invaluable Audio Seminars that you can watch from your MP3 Player! With helpful tips on 10 different parenting issues, you are bound to find one that will help you!
Bookmark it, guys, this is a good one!