I didn’t know.

I didn’t.

I am actually a little in shock!

I had no clue that when I became a stay at home mom that, one day – much sooner than I would have anticipated, I would actually be a stay at home maid!  I don’t like it.  It is not what I signed up for.  I stay home to raise my kids, not to clean 8 hours a day to no avail.

If I had known, if one of my mommy friends at the time had told me, I think I would have stayed at work. I would have put my kids with babysitters, driven the hour and a half to work and back, bought clothes I hated for way too much money, listen to my boss tell me I am too distracted with my family to pay attention, and used to $30 a month I’d actually earn, after expenses, to pay a maid to clean my house.

Because this is ridiculous.

Just this week – since Monday – I have vacuumed six times.  Mopped the floor four.  Cleaned the kitchen nine times.  Cleaned out the bathtub twice.  De – disgusted the toilets three times and picked up….  I dunno – 85,978 times?  Add to that specialty cleaning of macaroni, spaghetti, carrots, peas, corn, chips, popcorn, more popcorn, and more popcorn, milk, water, and whatever else my children can find to deface my property with.  Oh, and 8 loads of laundry.  No joke.

I mean really.  Do they have to be this messy and uncontrollable all day, every day?

I do try to get them to help.  I do.  Katie and Sarah clean their rooms to 67.9% of my standards and that means it is 100% done.  And Megan, sweet little Megan, does carry the laundry piles to me when I am putting them away.  The pile usually is depleted to one article by the time she gets to me, and it is unfolded, but the little helper tries.

But it seems no matter what I do, or how they “help”, or what punishment is handed down for trashing this humble abode, my job is never, ever done.  I don’t know how I am going to the seasonal cleaning chores like dusting the fans and blinds, cleaning out the kitchen cabinets, and taking a shower when I am too busy cleaning up all of the new messes created on a daily basis.

The worst part of it, though, is that even after cleaning all day long.  The house still looks like I have not touched it when my husband gets home.

And that just sucks!

Good thing I have that maid uniform to distract him.