Holy hotheaded mommy tonight!

I have a 4 year old that might just cause my death by frustration before she reaches 5!

What happened to this child of mine?  The one that I had first, loved first, pampered first? The one with the radiant smile and easy hugs?

When did she turn into a surly, defiant, belligerent, out of control teenager?  And what in the world am I, a mom for only the time since I have known of her, going to do about it?

This is getting out of hand.  She does not listen, care about consequences, scare easy, scare at all, want to please, or think that anything that she does at all is wrong.

She is 4.

Almost 5.

But still 4.

I did not think that the term, “You are grounded!” would escape my lips for at least another 7 years.  I did not think that I would fight a small child for 3 solid hours to get her to go to bed.

Asking does not work.  Bribery does not work.  Time out is a joke to her.  Threats fall on deaf ears.  Spankings are laughed at.

What do I do?

How do you solve a problem like a 4 year old?

How do you preserve the wonderfulness of her and her childhood but prevent her from being the only thing we have the energy and time to deal with.  Because she is always needing attention!

I suppose she is me.  Begging for accolades and acceptance in a family where hugs and kisses are rampant, but certainly shared.  Needing to feel special in a room full of special.  Needing more.

So her solution is to act out.  Create issues where there are none so that we have to stop, deal with them, deal with them again, deal with them some more, and lose our ability to take care of everything else.

I would say that she is bored.  But today alone she went to preschool and gymnastics.  Something she has been asking for for months!  And she was worse than when we never leave the house!

I have thought of a child psychiatrist.  I am not naive enough to think that she is beyond a little help.  I have prayed to the Lord above that Supernanny come driving up my driveway.  Again not naive enough to think that I am a perfect mother with perfect methods to deal with such a high needs child.

And I know that this part of her is small compared to the amazingly huge heart she has.  The creativity of a world renown artist courses through her veins and all I ever hear from teachers and friends is how polite, helpful, sweet, and caring she is.

I guess just being around her twin in the needs department just sets her off.

I want the good parts of her to outshine the difficulties that she has in expressing her wants and needs.  I want to relish in her amazing energy and stifle the amazing defiance.  I want to wrap my arms around her in love, instead of putting her out of my arms as punishment.

Maybe I am just not experienced enough as a mother to deal with what is probably mostly normal.  That typical tug of war between someone without full reason of who she is being raised by someone who might never be clearly aware of who she is.

A mother and a daughter.

Too much alike to celebrate their differences.

How do you solve a problem like a 4 year old?

I supposed I’ll continue to attack like I attack trying to improve myself.  One day at a time. Minute by minute.  Bathing in the tears of happiness and cleaning up the ones of frustration. Knowing that eventually, with a pure heart and consistent goal, I will be able to let her shine as brightly as God made her.

She’s only 4.

Almost 5.

But still 4.