I just realized that I was supposed to have sent something to school with Sarah last week that I completely forgot about. I mean, a total brain fart, have too much on my plate, Mommy goof. And I totally missed the day she came home from school talking about the circus and painting her box that I was supposed to send the box!
Which means that her teachers had to search around for another box for my daughter, probably making Sarah the last one with a box, and then the dreaded, “It’s ok honey, Mommy just forgot! We have one for you!” comment surely followed.
Gut. Knife. Twist.
This seems to be a pattern this year. My inability to remember things, get things right, or get anything right. Or even send my kids to school like I am supposed to. Clean, nicely dressed, organized… like a real mom. Instead of a flurry of craziness dumping my kids for these teacher’s to accommodate.
I take good care of my kids. I do. They get bathed every day. Teeth brushed, hair brushed, new outfits whenever I manage to find time to go shopping. In fact, even when money is tight, they get new things over me.
But they take a lot of work to look perfect every day. And despite my best efforts, they always seem to be just a little less than the other little kids going to school. There seems to always be a stain I did not see on their shirt, or they want to wear the pants that are too short and because I don’t want the fight, I let them go, or they get to school and I realize that they have their shoes on the wrong feet.
And then there are the things I seem to have no control over.
Sarah has my hair. I call it permanent bed head. It is frizzy and hard to work with and – worst of all – hers is straight. Unlike mine which has some natural curl to hide it’s craziness, there is no hiding her habit of twisting. So, to me at least, she always looks like she has bed head. Unless I condition it, blow dry it and style it every day, there is not much I can do about it.
Katie dresses herself. She does a great job matching clothing and such, but sometimes, no matter what I say, she wants to wear that “favorite” shirt that has paint on the sleeve, or that spot on the front that I did not know it had until we are in the car and it is too late to turn back.
Almost every school day, I feel like am apologizing or explaining something about why MY kids don’t match up to their peers. I should have a sign on my back saying “Notice: Inadequacies Ahead” so that everyone could be forewarned that these girls mother is going to be more work than her kids. That everyone should just expect that my kids are going to look like… well… s*it, and I am going to forget something… like a nap mat, or a water cup, or enough Pull Ups, or replacement clothes, or…. well… you get the picture.
So here I sit, feeling awful because I forgot the box and emailing her teacher – who is amazing and wonderful – to tell her how sorry I am that she had to go out of her way – again – to cover for Sarah’s mother’s idiocy… and I could cry.
How did it come to this? Where I have lost all ability to present my children in the best light possible? To make it so that they are so high maintenance that they might already have a bad reputation?
I suppose it is time to start getting them up an hour and a half early instead of an hour and making sure they are perfectly coiffed and pressed and look as good as possible for preschool. Because I don’t want them to suffer for my inability to go that extra mile. I want them to have every advantage.
So I guess I am making some serious changes starting tomorrow. With the first being to remove my cardboard sign saying “Notice: Inadequacies Ahead!”
I feel the SAME way. This school year has been tough, not on my son, but on me. I have managed to forget everything. His lunch, permission slips, parent signatures on papers, instruments for his lessons, extra supplies for projects. The list goes on and on. And every time I find out I forgot something it crushes my mom-esteem. I feel like a failure anymore. Like I’m in a foggy funk and I can’t seem to pull myself out.
You’re definitely not alone in this. And I’m sure your children aren’t suffering. Here’s to hoping we can both pull ourselves together! :)
I am sure your childs teacher just appreciates that you are the type of parent who sends an apology when you do forget. Many children have parents that could just care less. We all forget sometimes . Wait until they get older and wait until the night before to tell you they have to take an international dish to school or they signed you up to brng something. That’s always fun lol.
Oh, Lori, as usual, you are being too hard on yourself girl! A stain on a shirt or messy hair isn’t going to lead them down a path to welfare and public housing. And we all forget things. I am the worst. So far, with the help of MIL who is the one who drops Kaden off at school, I’ve managed to not forget to send anything. But that is only because I have help! You do it all alone with THREE! Allow yourself some “inadequacies”. It’ll be OK, I promise. :-) With love! Crystal
You know I used to worry about my kids looking perfect and put together, and then one day I realized I needed to pick my battles wisely with them. If they wanted to wear two different socks (which by the way my 15 yr old daughter still loves to do) then fine, it wasn’t going to harm them or anyone else. If they wanted to wear their favorite shirt more than once a week that was fine also…again not hurting anyone. It is hard, and it makes you feel inadequate at times, but know your kids love you and they think you are the best!
I have the exact same problem this year. Right now my boys are walking around looking like 2 wanna be Beetles on a bad acid Trip. Their hair just grows so fast and they no longer want the buzz (that I love btw easy no maintenance) I used to be so on it when it came to deadlines at school and such but this year (a new baby to add to the mix and my new Tupperware business and mom blogging) Everything that once came so easy seems like a chore. Let me know what changes you are going to implement maybe we can get on track together :) my boys will still leave school a mess no matter how I send them that I am confident about!