It is an honor to present a guest post by Crystal, author of  I met Crystal almost 5 years ago online while pregnant with my fist daughter, and she her first son.  Since then we have journeyed through the birth of her second son and my two younger daughters.  Crystal has taken a break from blogging and this is a step back in!  Please join me in welcoming her back and encouraging her to keep it up!

You can find Crystal @MommaCDG on Twitter!


So what kind of mom are you?

A Super-MomAffectionate MomStrict Mom, or Laid Back Mom? Check out this survey to see  (Obviously, if you’re a “super mom” or a “laid back” mom you can’t possibly also be an “affectionate mom.” And especially not if you’re a “strict mom”.)
Or maybe you fit into one of these categories from
The Funseeker Mom, The Alpha Mom, The Helicopter Mom, or The Free-Range Mom?
Or maybe you are a: Soccer mom? Crunchy mom? Granola mom? Hippy mom? Feminist mom?
Are you Authoritative? Permissive? Earthy? Attachment-oriented? Old-fashioned? Modern?
There seem to be a million labels out there for us to slap on ourselves as mothers, and I find myself wanting to fit in to one label or another. I consider myself a feminist, but do I really feminist parent? I do let my boys buy pink toys and stereotypically girl toys, if they choose. I tell them they can like and play with whatever they want, regardless of those labels. But then I worry that my 4 year old is going to get laughed at if he goes to school and tells the others that his favorite colors are green and pink, and I don’t go out of my way to buy them “girly” things. I don’t try to buy “gender neutral” clothes. That’s pretty impossible anyway and I’m too busy (lazy) to go out of my way for such things. And it is hard when there are very few people in my “real life” that feel the same way as I do.
I’m a “working” mom. I always thought I’d be the “anti-homemaker” sort of mom, a rebel of sorts, buying store-bought cupcakes for school and basically not doing any of those “typical” mom jobs. But then I found myself baking Halloween cupcakes with my oldest. (Having my boys bake with me… hmm maybe that is feminist?)  I also baked and decorated a cake for his fourth birthday, something that I NEVER thought I would do. I mean, I don’t even like to cook at all.
I love all the “crunchy,” “earthy,” and “hippy” moms. I find myself wanting to be like them. I try to buy organic foods and limit “bad” foods. But then, well, like I said, I hate to cook. Processed foods and eating at restaurants is always going to be a part of our lives. My oldest is an extremely picky eater, and I really just don’t sweat it. If I get him to eat a piece of bread and some shredded cheese for dinner, I consider that a success! Also, my boys are circumcised, a choice I hardly gave a thought to with my first and then wasn’t going to have them different from each other. And I’m OK with that decision.  
I want to be the “funseeker” mom too. I try to take my boys out to do fun things and do crafts with them. But then, I often just don’t want to! I hate having to clean them up after they’ve been painting. I have little patience when doing projects with them when they don’t seem to be getting it. Many pretty days pass when I think, I should take them to the park. But I don’t.
I also look up to those doing attachment parenting. I do believe strongly in responding quickly to a baby’s needs. (Confession: When my oldest was 4 months old, we tried CIO out of pure desperation. It was hell and it didn’t work.) I co-sleep (which pre-parenting I swore I never would!). I slept with my first until he was 2 ½ and am still sleeping with my 20 month old, who still breastfeeds. But my first was mostly formula fed after an unsuccessful attempt (and I mean my absolute best attempt) at breastfeeding. And I HATE baby wearing. Slings, wraps and other baby carriers just feel so unnatural to me and I just can’t do it! And sometimes, I would give my left arm for some time alone.
I am very anti-spanking, but my youngest son is such a challenge. I am ashamed to confess that I have slapped his leg a few times out of desperation to get him to listen to me. I’m really laid back in a lot of ways, like with the eating and letting them run in the house and such. But then I really put A LOT of thought into other things, like their Halloween costumes, Christmas presents, the clothes they wear, school supplies, and many other things that my husband things I’m crazy for over thinking.
So where does that leave me? A mom with no label? I mostly feel like I really don’t fit in with any mom group, a sort of outsider. I felt that way in school too, so it may just be my personality. I just wonder if any of you other moms out there ever feel like you just don’t fit in. Do you have ideals about the type of mom you WANT to be versus the mom you really are?
Hey, I know. Just label me the anti-label mom. J