This is one of my personal favorites I am pulling out for Archive Week. I read it sometimes when I am especially tired or overwhelmed and it always makes me smile. I hope it does the same for you.
Originally published 10/4/2010
I want to be a member of someone’s audience. Ellen’s, Oprah’s, The View’s. I want free gifts, titillating conversation, and a favorable camera angle when I flash on the screen. It seems like everyone is having so much fun. The audience is always the “best one on TV”, the “most beautiful of all shows”, and privy to gifts that no one knew they wanted but is the best thing in the world because it is free.
What does it take to be a member of one of those audiences? A trip out of town? A long line? A lucky ticket?
All things that are on hold for me for now. Maybe one day I’ll be in the right seat, on the right day, offered a cruise or new car. But for now, I will watch, sporadically at best, while tending to my children.
But, wait… aren’t I a member of an audience every day? A captive seat warmer in the cheering section, the confidence building celebrator, the laughing hysterically side- grabbing supporter of a star. Or three stars?
Their opening monologues and hot topics start my day. When my girls come running out, hair askew, pull – up full, eager to tell me about their nights and reminding me of what they did “yesterday”, I am, in fact a captive audience.
Their accounts of fishing with Daddy, going to the duck pond, and swinging upside down “yesterday” are full of laugh inducing lines, thus getting my blood flowing and wanting more. Just as daily, fans clamor for their time to watch celebrities, I could listen to my children tell me their stories all day long.
They always have a cause that they are collecting funds for. A new Dora DVD, a new Princess dress, M&M’s or Meme (Oreo) cookies from the “gwowcewy stow”. They want a new horn for their bikes, a new bone for their dogs, a new shirt with a star on it. No matter what, it is always a good cause and they fund raise like professionals.
Every day, they interview special guests. Whether it be each other, the dogs, or their baby dolls, they have questions designed to make a viewer smile. Thought provoking curiosities about “why dogs lick their privates?” and “how come the colors won’t come off the wall?” The interviews sometimes end on a good note, sometimes in conflict, and sometimes they just dwindle off with no clear intent. But they are always entertaining and hard to divert my eyes from.
The musical guests daily are the same, I’ll admit. But the material changes. This week we are loving the renditions of “Jesus is my best friend” and “Why does God make potato chips? L.O.V.E Love That’s Why!” The music is raw, like most amateurs, but the fan base is solid and the albums have gone platinum. We have to deal with their diva demands sometimes, but really, how hard is it to keep polka- dot macaroni in the house?
So I may never board a plane to stand in a personal space- challenging line, parade into a studio and check under my seat for a free gift, but I find my daily show to be enough. Because though I may never win a portable television, a trip to Australia, or a copy of the newest book from a psychic I have never heard of, I am rewarded every day. With winnings that are priceless, one of a kind, and unable to sell on EBAY… by law.
I get my kids. Presents that may not have big red bows on the top, but certainly are in the most beautiful wrapping paper ever created. Gifts that keep on giving, are true miracles, and no one else will ever have my version of.
I have a front row seat every day. To watch, enjoy, and laugh.
And I am honored to me a member of the audience.