I have got to be one of the stupidest people I have ever met in my life.  Seriously, I can’t remember anything! I can’t stay on task! I can’t come up with any new ideas!  I just can not seem to form a solid thought and follow it through to the end anymore.  It’s as if my brain has gone to Margaritaville and forgotten to leave me a message much less invite me along!

I know it drives my husband crazy.  No wonder he thinks I don’t do anything all day!  I can’t remember to! 

For instance, yesterday as he was leaving for work, he came and kissed me and said “I went ahead and threw a load of laundry in the washer.  Don’t forget to put it in the dryer.”  I rolled my eyes and was all “I got it babe.  I’m not an idiot!”

Uh, yea I am.  Do you know what time I “remembered” to put the wet clothes in the dryer?  7:45PM.  How did I remember?  Because I heard the garage door open and had a Oh Shit moment.  Sure enough, he came in and asked if I’d put the clothes in the dryer.  I lied and said yes.  He knew better as he heard the dryer going.  That one will come back later to bite me!

Then today.  I have things to do.  Laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc.  A regular day for a regular family.  I decide I am going to have Cornish Game Hen for dinner. I’ve never made it before but surely, being of sober mind and hefty body, I can figure it out.  All day I am thinking of how to cook it, what flavors would be good on it and how impressed my husband will be at my attempt at something new.  At no time, however, did I actually pull it out of the freezer to thaw out.  Well, at least not in time to actually make it.  I did place it in the small side of my sink late this afternoon, turn on the cold water in an attempt to speed up the defrost process, and walk away. 

I came back a while later to a flooded floor and counter.  Lori forgot she had the water on for the forgotten hen. 

We are now having Mexican take- out whenever my husband gets off of work. 

These are just the latest examples of my brainlessness.  I have left Megan in the high chair for an extended period of time.  Just walked away, tended to some other overdue chore and simply forgot I had her in it.  It was not until I heard Katie talking to her that I realized she was still strapped in.

I have left enough food in my microwave, finding it only when I open it to place another soon to be neglected item in, to feed my family for a year.  I cringe to think how much I am spending on groceries to replace these items instead of to fill my beer fridge. 

I forget that my windows are down, that there are milk bottles in my minivan, that our water slide is still up 3 days later and other miscellaneous items that should be easy to remember.  It is not as if I have to remember the Pythagorean theorem or something!

I don’t know if it was the repeated epiduralss and pain meds or the loss of blood during so many c sections in such a short period of time that caused my brain to flee its protective cavity.  It could be that it is tired of never getting any sleep, I don’t know.  But something is defiantly up.  I’d say it’s the alcohol but I trained my cells to hang on in my early 20’s, so I think I am ok there.

What really gets me is that I used to be so smart!  I used to be up on current events, organized to a fault, dedicated to finish a task in a timely manner and just basically on the ball.  Now a days, I feel out of the loop, uneducated and as if my greatest attribute is that my kids don’t smell…  a lot.

I’ll be honest, I feel very intimidated when I talk to working for money Mom’s.  They all seem so calm and in control of everything going on around them.  Their opinions are centered around current events, not Sesame Street guest stars.  They are clean and have nice clothes and make – up.  I used to be one of them.  And I know when I was a working Mom, I was way smarter than I am now!

But what really makes me think that I have just gotten stupider is that every other stay at home mom that I know rocks it like nobody’s business.  They are so organized and put together.  Their kids are clean, well- behaved, educated and they look like they sleep on pillows of feathers every night.  So I think this illness is just affecting me.  I listen to them talking and figure if I can emulate them, maybe I won’t be flailing in stupidville all by my lonesome.

Then I go and do something really stupid, like leave our very expensive blower outside for the dog to eat, and I am sent right back to the village of idiot and do not pass go or collect an adult beverage. 

I guess I can just hope that as my kids grow, my brain cells decided to regenerate and catapult me back into the land of the thinking.   Because right now, stupid is as stupid does is written across my forehead.