Yesterday I got a hair brained idea that a treasure box and chart might help my kids be more… well, manageable. A lot of you fabulous readers suggested something like this so I know it had to be tried!
Intelligent me took all three girls, right after a busy day at school, to the dollar store to look for goodies. After a good 30 minutes of, “Mommy, I want…” and “Mommy, can I have that for my birthday?”, I was all done. I took my loot to check out and wrestled with the kids who were eagerly unloading the basket all over the counter.
Apologizing to the check out lady, I departed, frustrated and wanting to put my kids in the box rather than reward them from it!
When I got home I realized I was stumped.
I did not know how to proceed.
How do I make a box? What would I put on the chart? How do I reward them?
I called my neighbor, who, in my very important opinion, should have been a teacher or nanny or something to do with kids, but isn’t, and asked if she had any ideas.
She said that she would think on it and let me know.
An hour later, my doorbell rang! I looked out my peephole and a green box with the words, “Good Girl Goodies”, stared back at me!
My neighbor has gone out to her garage, sprayed a box green, added eyes to “watch” the girls, a hook, a sign and brought it over.
I KNOW!
No, you can not have her!
She brought it in and we got to talking about the chart. She immediately got to work drawing pictures of the rules… ’cause my kids can not read, you see. I would not have thought of that!
While we are all gathered around my kitchen island Megan and Sarah started fighting over a toy. I got frustrated and took the toy and threw it onto the counter behind me.
Both girls screamed – loudly – in protest.
My neighbor, April, says, “You could just give them each a toy and that would calm them too!”
Hmm – brilliant. Why didn’t I think of that?
I gave the girls toys and it got quiet.
Soon we got back to the chart and Katie started one of her ugly sassy episodes because she wanted Sarah’s book and not the one I had given her.
I started to threaten and April stepped in – which I highly encourage of all people around my children, whether I am there or not! No shame in my mommy pride!
She told Katie that tempers were meant to be held and that when she got angry, she liked to take deep breaths and think of rainbows.
So simple… yet so far from my brain!
Seems I should know how to do that.
April went home eventually and I resumed my yelling and time out throwing and deep sighs of frustration. I kept reminding the kids that there was going to be a goodie chart and they needed to earn their heart stickers. But since April was drawing it at her house, they had no concept.
Late last night, she brought it over.
She has talent!
And this morning the girls have been on their p’s and q’s trying to earn those coveted heart stickers!
It has occurred to me, however, that maybe I am just not a kid person. I would have never come up with the box or the drawing of the rules or any of the other brilliant parenting moves that April exhibited while here for just a few minutes.
I just don’t think that way, I guess. Instead of being creative and calm, I am analytical and spastic. Possibly expecting too much from little kids.
It seems so easy when I watched my neighbor. So effortless. So natural.
So…. parental!
What I do seems so forced, frustrating, and ineffective.
Maybe I am just not a kid person. Seems I should be. But I think I am just not!
Maybe if I watch my neighbor long enough, I’ll learn how to be one. Until then, my poor kids will just have to suffer through!
OMG – you were ME a few years ago. I have 3 girls too and it is incredibly hard to parent them. I think it is less of a “kid person” thing and more of a “too close to see reality” thing. It’s like when I’m around other kids and have no problem solving their issues and managing their temper tantrums. I’m great with my niece who has ADD and a million other issues. Her Mom can’t stand spending 5 minutes with her. It’s always easier to see solutions when you aren’t stuck right in the middle of the mess 24/7. Don’t be hard on yourself. You are so lucky to have a neighbor who can help.
Thanks!! I try to see it as that but really, I think some of this stuff should come more naturally! LOL I am so glad you are here!
just never move away from her lol!! Tell her she can’t ever move.
Never ever ever EVER!!! I told her that is not a possibility ever!!! LOL
it is always easier to be calm like that with someone else’s kids- when you are just stepping in for a few minutes and leaving again.
You have a wonderful neighbor! I hope the box of goodies works well for you.
Thank you! She is amazing! And yes, it is probably easier to deal with other peoples kids! Maybe I should pretend mine are not mine! LOL
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dude, that’s awesome. my husband had a “self-control box” when he was little. if he threw a toy or fought over it or snatched it from a brother, the toy went into the box until he calmed himself. my MIL claims that it worked…
hope the chart gets some good results! i agree with carolyn. i think of a million things for my speech kids at school, but they fly out of my head for my own. i’m stuck in the moment of frustration and not seeing a more “kid-friendly” solution. you’re amazing.
p.s., my kids should wear a helmet 24-7. just sayin’.
HAHAHA!! Mine should too!! So far, the chart seems to be working! They have each earned 2 stars and need 5 to claim a prize from the box! Now I just need to keep it up! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
Love it! Your honesty is amazing but I don’t believe you aren’t parental you are more organized than creative and that is ok. Some people can make anything get down on the floor and make up games and others are more planners and into details. No one can be the same at parenting and not all tips work on all kids. We are learning just like them :)
Thank you Kay!! I try to remember that my kids are not lacking in the care and love department but when I see it come so easily to others, I wish I had that too! Thank you for coming by and commenting!!
This is awesome! I need april! Haha btw I am totally stumbling this!