Disclaimer: This is gross. Very gross. Possibly the grossest thing I have shared on here. So you know it is in the uber gross category. But I have to share because Mother’s will understand. But I recommend you hide your children’s eyes and possibly your husband’s. Only the strong can handle it.
Megan has a bit of an upset stomach. I bet you know where this is going. I’ll pause while you go get a barf bag.
Are you back? OK
So, all day, she’s been presenting a special kind of “what are you feeding this kid” odor and diaper deposits to compliment said odor. It has been fantastic. But as a seasoned mother of children who poop out things that I have never in my life smelled and probably will never again, I knew where to turn my head so I would not be downwind, so to speak.
She’s got some diaper rash as a result, and I am trying to remember to use a warm cloth to help soothe her instead of cold, harsh wipes.
I changed her at about dinner time. The girls were nicely – and by nicely I mean not at all – playing Play-Doh at their little table. All of the colors were mixed together and to be honest, it all looked like poop. I made dinner and told myself I’d sweep the whole mess up when they were done.
At one point, Megan, who had been walking around the table, decided to sit on one of the stools. I heard that all familiar “squueessshhhh” and ran, afraid to even pick her up, already knowing what I would find.
Yes – poop out the sides and all over the chair.
I flipped her over in true mommy fashion, got her diaper off and reached for the wipes while holding her, suspended over my arm, ripe end up so I could inhale the best part of the diaper change.
“Mommy, Megan is playing in her poop.”
I whip my head around to see that she is, indeed, finger painting in her poop. I lurch forward, getting her finger out of the way, thinking the disgusting disaster is avoided, go to reach for another wipe and…..
gulp…..
SHE
STICKS
HER
FINGER
IN
HER
MOUTH
AND
LICKS
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG OMG OMG!
Guroooosssssss!!!!
I feel myself starting to hurl and then I see her face. She has this sour, twisted, confused, wretched look on her face! I burst out laughing, despite my nausea, and finish cleaning her up – mouth included.
And that is my horrid, disgusting, nasty, story of the day. I have never had that one happen before. First time. Lucky me. I pray it is my last!
You can uncover the children’s and husband’s face now. It is over.
eww eww eww. God has blessed me with the passing of this childhood ritual; because he knows I'd die, and so would my baby when I used bleach as a mouthwash…lol
ROFL!!! Don't think it did not cross my mind!!! LOL Soooooo gross!! Did not have that with the other 2!
been there done that… the things kids will do with poop you would think they were feces throwing monkeys!!!
My last post
ewwww….gross. following you back. thanks for coming by leela loves for FMBT! ~leela @ lee-la.blogspot.com
OMG – I needed that – Having a "pissy" morning that was upgraded after hearing about your "sh!tty" day:)
I'm glad you both survived:) Thanks for the funny albiet disssssssguuuustting story:)
Oh that is so wrong but so funny! I haven't yet experienced eating poop yet, but I wouldn't put it past my 1 year old who eats EVERYTHING. Luckily my 4 year old is way too prissy for that sort of thing.
Anyway, I'm just popping in from the Tuesday hop & am now following. Love your blog & I voted for you on TMB! :-) Would love a visit (& follow) back when you get a chance! Have a great day.
living well, spending less
HAHA! That was my second guess as to what would happen. I was thinking you were going to say the play-doh was poop!!
But oh, that is so disgusting, but funny. I was laughing so hard I had some of those "no-sound-but-the-sound-of-inhaling" laughs.
HAHAHAHA!! I am glad you liked Pua! I also like that you got my "Play Doh" trick I threw in! Gotta keep you guessing til the very end! ;)
Oh my god. That was a complete and total Poopapalooza.
I must say, although I have experienced (and will experience) more Poopapalooza's than anyone ever should, taste testing one has not occurred. To my knowledge.
Finger painting with them, yes.
Toe painting/stomping with them, yes.
But not tasting.
Thank god.
I would gag too.
I think you might relate to this post:http://danceswithchaos.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/poopapalooza/
Thanks for the laugh and giving me the sigh of "Thank god it wasn't me, this time."
LOL – I am headed there now to offer poop support! LOL