Megan said her name yesterday. For the first time. At about 11:03am. There, now I have it documented!
Instead of tearing up, I laughed with glee and tried to get her to say it again and again. Of course, she was onto new things and could care less what her name was by then! But I still wanted to celebrate so I grabbed her, flipped her up side down, tickled her and listened to her giggle with glee!
As I celebrated and she laughed uncontrollably, I wondered what it would be like… to live childhood again. To have little things like saying your name celebrated as if you just won the Nobel Peace Prize. Or landed and agent for your first novel. Or hit a home run in your first Major league Baseball game.
Childhood seems so easy to me. Your whole existence centers around play and fun and learning. Sure, there are rules and boundaries and those pesky teenage years where I thought I knew everything, but really, how hard was it?
As I have aged and seen the world in all of it’s glory and garbage, I have lost the innocence, laughter, and the desire to learn about every single thing out there, I think. Or at least limit what I want to see and learn. In fact, I have a hard time conjuring up the actual feelings of childhood at all! I have memories, sure… but that ability to channel the pure irresponsibility of it is difficult.
I want it back! Childhood! NOW!
I don’t want to be an adult anymore. I want to run freely through the house screaming and chasing my sister with reckless abandon. I want to conspire with them to empty out every bucket, drawer, or box that holds toys, coloring books, or stuffed animals. Not a care in the world that the evidence of my play litters my floor! After all, I have to hone my climbing skill somewhere!
I want someone to push me, cook for me, clean up after me, and think that it is cute that I can not do it for myself yet.
I want to open a cabinet full of food and throw everything out while looking for just the right snack to eat. I want to be messy and have people take pictures of me because I look ‘oh so cute’ with ice cream dripping down my chin! And I want to be void of the knowledge of calories, fat grams, and carbohydrates.
I want to kiss and hug my friends – boys and girls – and not have it misconstrued as a fault against my husband. And I want to curl up in someone’s lap and cry when I feel like it instead of feeling like I have to hold it in so that other’s don’t judge me! Or curl up with a good book and have it read to me while I ooh and ahh and fill in my own words for my own entertainment.
But most of all, I want to feel safe, and irresponsible, and like the good in life is a priority again! I want my glass half full even after I spill the contents all over the kitchen floor, and I want people to laugh at me when I make a mistake out of innocence, instead of expecting me to always know better.
Yes, childhood has its disadvantages as well. I am thinking… hold on. Being told what to do all the time would be one except that I think it would be kind of cool to always know what is expected of you. And I won’t argue that bedtime is bad – no way. Nor will I badmouth Time Out. I might get frustrated that I am being told to do things that I just do not understand the concept of yet, and maybe I’ll have a serious beef with having to go to school again – I like to sleep in – but overall, I want it back.
Or at least the appreciation for life and fun that it holds and the freedom to laugh when I fart.
But since I can’t go back, I will watch my children and try to make theirs last as long as possible!
Childhood is a beautiful time for most children. For others it was a struggle. I would never go back unless I could pick new parents! I think its awesome that you want to keep your kids childhood going for as long as possible, that’s why you are such a great mom. And ya saying her name for the first time is a pretty big accomplishment!
I hear you! Until 8, mine was awful – and then I was so old when I was adopted that I had to be retaught things and that was no fun. So maybe I just want MY kids childhood again! LOL
I always say… I wish I loved anything as much as my son delights in bubbles. Its true. I wish I could have childhood back!
Not me. I was just having this conversation with my 12 yo son. I told him I would never want to go back before age 20. Not that I had a bad childhood, but that I just wouldn’t want to go through all the emotions and mistakes and pain of adolescence. I’m thrilled to be an adult and feel I can still learn and delight in life. I WOULD love to learn to be more carefree as an adult though. Like having fun being messy. That’s something I haven’t mastered yet… Great post. :-)
Thank you Shannon! I do not think I would want to live 13 – 18 gain, but 1- 10, without the adoption, but just like my kids are living it – heck yea! They have it made! ROFL!
I love this post!
Really, that’s what we miss most – the responsibility and the innocence.
I would be okay reliving until age 10, and then probably after age 17… not really a fan of the 7 years in between, though, and don’t wish to ever experience that again.
One thing I have gotten in touch with again: the power of the imagination. All of sudden I recall how I used to LIVE in my imagination – for hours, back when I had hours to spare.
Having children is letting me experience that fun all over again.
YES Kelly!!! Let’s leave the teen years out of it! LOL And I need to work on my imagination more… I think all adults do. We let it be eaten by stress and what we have to do. If we all took10 minutes a day and just imagined a new game or something with our kids… wouldn’t that be great?
This is absolutely wonderful. I have often thought the same thing when watching my son :)
Me too!!! My girls come running through playing some “game” and I admit, I am a little jealous! ;)
Thanks for stumbling me, I’ve stumbled back.
Heather from Acting Balanced
Thank you Heather!
I’d love to go through my 20’s again. I couldn’t loose the control that I’d have to in order to be a child again.
Happy tumble Tuesday http://booksyourkidswilllove.blogspot.com/2011/01/feed-newsflesh.html
UGH!! My 20’s I packed away and am never reliving again!! Interesting how we all have phases we love! ;)
What a sweet post! Thank you for sharing :)
Great post :)
I stumbled you!!
WOOHOO!! Thank you so much!
You are GREAT! Love the post, love the site … new follower here, for sure!
Thanks for leaving such a great message on your stumble to me (Reading with Joey). And thank you for following me, both here and on FB. Sorry about your monitor. :-)
Can’t wait to peruse through more of your site.
WOW – Thank you Devon! I love your site as well and have you bookmarked now! I hope I can keep you entertained here as well!
To have those carefree days again would be wonderful..I’m a firm believer that we can still partake in the joys of childhood, like laughing and giggling til my stomach hurts, running barefoot in the cool green grass and things like that. Like you said, it would be nice if others thought it was cute when I made a mistake!!! lol
Stumbled your post!
Thanks, Becky Jane
Thank you Becky Jane! And I agree… those wonderful memories of just having nothing to do but relax – even though it was really my Mom getting me out of her haor! – were amazing! I love your site and read you often! ;D
I am SO with you!!! I want it back big time!! I love this post…and agree with every single word. Oh man, if only we could…*sigh*
Stumbling! My post is: http://www.keenlykristin.com/2011/02/make-it-your-mission.html
Thank you for the Stumble! I appreciate it! I am heading to your site now!
What an awesome post. Just lovely.
I’m here from Stumble Tuesday, and it’s at moments like these that I wish there was something above “like it” on stumble. I need a “freakin love it” button.
Needless to say I stumbled you, my post is http://www.mapleleafmommy.com/2011/02/independent-interview-lisa-from-giving.html
I stumbled your post! Would love if you stumbled mine: http://www.texastypeamom.com/2011/02/all-by-myself.html
yea! Thank you! Going to stumble yours now!
I’m a Stumble Tumble Tuesday-Wednesday friend ;)
I have had moments like that myself with my 2 girls, moments that just boggle my mind and make me wonder: How did I get here? How am I so lucky to have these beauties! :) :)
P.S. I’m a brand new blogger, with a follower base of just 2 so far! It’s a work in progress! and I love your font!