It’s funny. I watch the news and I see kids committing suicide over posts on FaceBook and words typed in black and white on a screen and I use to think, ‘You do not know the emotion behind them nor the intention in the post, so just take a deep breath and shake it off’.
But now I am under attack. And I have to say… it seriously sucks. And I am a 38 year old, educated, intelligent woman. But words on a computer screen attacking the very core of my being hurts worse than I could have ever imagined.
Just as no one can make everyone happy in real life, the thought that one can make everyone happy in social media is preposterous. In fact… it seems easier to offend, deflate, and attack someone on a computer. With no accountability for watching someone’s facial reactions or listening to the dejection in their voice, people type and expect that there is some sort of filter that will protect their rights.
I miss polite society. I miss conversations about unhappiness instead of 3 sentence updates. And I miss that when people wanted to see you – they SAW you – and did not rely on a website to tell someone everything about that person and their lives.
When you visit, face to face, you learn about everything a person is dealing with. And the things that annoy you about that person may be understood better if you took the time to see why they are that way. How is that even remotely possible when only friends with someone and one aspect of their life… like their FaceBook page?
I now feel for the kids, with less emotional control and understanding that people’s opinions on a computer does not translate to who they are as a person. I see how they could take a post and internalize it until it becomes their whole belief in who they are.
Just as my feelings are hurt at the misunderstanding of my intentions and desires in my life, they are hurt at the blatant disrespect of theirs.
I feel for our kids these days. They are in a world where their lives are explained one status update or tweet at a time. A keypad on a phone, computer, or a video on YouTube being the basic definition of who they are supposed to be. And the delete button not being used generously enough.
As I sit here in tears taking every lash that I suppose, in some way, I deserve… for not making everyone happy all of the time… I know that a person with less coping capacities would be thinking of drastic measures.
And I am sorry that our kids have this in their lives to deal with, too.
I really am.
it is sad when people spend there day making others miserable via social media. Instead of proving how it can be used for good, by leading by example. Sorry this is happening to you. It sucks, kids got it rough these days.
Thank you!! Yes… how many of us read every single post or feed that comes to our page? I scroll through the things I am not interested in. It is what it is. I wish people would not be so mean!
Lori, I just went thru a facebook situation yesterday! My niece and I were having a conversation and out of the blue she posted something really really mean. I was devastated that she could be so cruel to me. I have had a special relationship with her since she was born! I cried all afternoon. Defriended her and everyone I knew that was friends with her as well. My sister and I were talking about it later when my sister looked up the conversation and realized that my niece was not actually responding to me at all! Someone else had jumped into the conversation and for some reason I could not see their comment on my facebook page!! I was relieved and horrified that I had thought so little of my niece and put so much stock into a comment made on facebook! Lesson learned!
WOW!! I did not know you could even do that!! It is like you got comment hacked! This is most certainly a personal comment to me and I wish that things were different, but they are not!
I know what you mean – sometimes I feel like I’m in high school again. I hope your situation works out for the best.
Thank you Heather! I also feel like I am in High School again sometimes. There is a reason I dropped out of there! LOL
Keep your head up girl! You can’t worry about other people. (I know you can’t help it, but try not to so much. LOL) I would be hurt too in your situation. But then I guess I don’t open myself up to it either. I mean, I am sure I annoy some people posting about my Etsy shop, but I’m not going to ask people, because I don’t want to hear it, you know? They can use their block button or delete me all together if they want. I try to be respectful but if they really cared about me, they would put up with my crap. I look over LOTS of stuff. So, my only advice would be not to ask people how they feel about you, because someone will respond negatively and that is bound to bring you down, even if you think you are ready to hear it. :-)
I agree. My intention was to delete a page all together. It was not to insight personal opinion about the one I want to be deleted annoying every one and why. And I certainly did not expect to be attacked today for doing exactly what I have been doing all along. In fact, I also pass by a ton of stuff that is not relevant to my day. With 500+ friends, we can not read everything. But a mutual respect should be afforded. And – to make a note – the reason I even asked was because I had gotten public messages before and I thought it would end that. Apparently not… LOL Thank you honey!
OK Just one more thing… FB posts and tweets often get overlooked. I have nearly 500 “friends” so posts go by quickly. I try to catch up with close friends, but if I check on them, and they posted something like 3 days ago, I wouldn’t want to respond, you know? I know it is so easy to feel ignored when you get no responses from something you post. It sucks. I know. I have felt that way before. But I just try to think that maybe no one of importance saw it. Love you girl!
I agree. 100%.
Thank you so much Crystal!
Lori, I’m a relatively new follower and just wanted to say how sorry I am that you were hurt. Your blog hit the nail SMACK on the head in so many ways. People seem to have given themselves a free pass to hurt anyone they wish because it’s “just computer stuff.” But those are REAL people behind the words!! It also feels like high school all over again. Courtney at Women Living Well posted a wonderful blog about Facebook recently. I hope you don’t mind me sharing the link. It was really helpful for me! (((Big Hugs)))
http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/2011/03/spring-cleaning-your-facebook-account.html
I will happily go read it. Thank you LouAnne! I appreciate your taking the time to send it to me!
Lori,
Perhaps if you listened to this person in the first place, along with MANY others who have asked you to stop spamming via your personal page, it never would have happened. We DO want to know how the girls are doing, but aren’t interested in all the giveaways you do on your blog here. (Hence the reason I myself have said something to you more than once, only to be told in not so nice terms by you that I am a FOOL for thinking you’d do that.)
Friendship goes both ways. If you cannot handle the truth, please cease asking for opinions.
Thank you for your comment Kristey. I do not feel like I have ever been disrespectful and if I have, I am very sorry. But in reality, my FB page is my FB page. And how I choose to run it is my personal decision. I love you guys… I do. And it pains me that there is controversy over my page. I was simply trying to promote what I saw as important to ALL of my readers. I never intended to hurt a select few. Please accept my naive apologies.
PS: I do not spam… my posts are real and selected based on what I think the majority of readers would like to see.
There are SO many things I could write, just now. Mostly, I’m just cranky. This is just asinine. Seriously?!?! People. There are block buttons. There are unfollow buttons. There are ninety gabillion ways to stop reading something you don’t like. There is even this VERY cool thing called email. Other cool things? Cell phones, vehicles, coffee meetings, and stopping by a friend’s house to have a chat. REALLY?! Why? Why do some people feel the necessity to be rude and childish in print? Where the entire free world can see it? Does it validate their bullying tendencies? Do these people feel that if they type it over and over on twitter, facebook, a blog, that it will make others see them as a victim? Because I’m here to tell ya.. all it does is make the attacker look like a horse’s….. yeah. That.
To attack someone on a facebook page, a blog, on twitter is the definition of cowardice. They are hiding behind the internet, and in that line of thought, may feel like their words are not as hurtful. They are. Children commit suicide over them, yes. More often, a friend cries and feels less than she is because of someone’s cruel comment. The over used phrase is appropriate here. “Can’t we all just get along?” and really.. wasn’t ONE experience with high school drama enough for you? Leave this sweet woman with this AWESOME BLOG alone. Please. That’s as polite as I’ll get. Block, unfollow, whatever. But keep your revolting comments to yourself.
Caryn – you made me laugh. That makes my whole day better! And yes, I agree… what one hides behind social media hides with a shepherds coat.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!