It happened. The one family I deemed OK for my kids to watch on TV is now banned in this house. I won’t put money and trust into a family who hid sex abuse allegations against their son. I won’t support a family who preaches to anyone who will listen that physical activity is saved for marriage when the sexual abuse of 5 girls by one of their own children is in the history. I won’t let me kids think that they deserve to be followed. And I am totally sick about it.
There is officially no family on television that I can share with my kids. Not one. No one to look at as an example of doing good. No one to use as an example of someone doing something right. I am sorry… with the Duggars, the ‘media symbol’ of wholesome, honest, goodness in the world, imploding from within amongst secrets, lies and cover ups, my trust in absolutely anything I see in the media is gone. And it was barely there to begin with.
It wavered on the Lance Armstrong cheating scandal. Buckled under the Cosby sex cases and now has completely fallen to the floor of the deepest crater on Earth. I won’t find it again. The sad thing is that I see the people in the media being displayed for who they are. But what is going on with the people who don’t have camera’s in their homes? Who don’t have people digging through records looking for the black mark. What about the every day people that I won’t have the ability to know about?
I’ve been to the How to Spot a Child Molester classes and it still seems impossible for me to be able to tell who around my children is good, and who is not. I never let my kids out of my sight if I don’t have to. They don’t go play at people’s homes unless I am there. They never hang out with people I don’t know really, really well. They are probably going to hate me for keeping them so close. But I’d rather that than having a tragic event in their lives like this.
Yes, I know I will get slack for it. I know people will tell me that I have to let them go and grow up and pray that they don’t come across a Josh Duggar or Bill Cosby of the world. But I can not help it. This literally came out of nowhere for me.
Every Tuesday night this entire season, the girls and I have curled up and watched 19 Kids and Counting. I have talked to my kids about why they only side hug, why they don’t kiss until their wedding day, why they hold their values and morals to the highest standard. I purposely leave out their deep seeded beliefs because I don’t personally believe in them or want to teach any homophobic, hypocritical views to my children. Absolutely every human is equal in this house. But the show was clean, with no curse words, no sexual innuendos and no fear that my kids would see something inappropriate.
Now we have to stop. I have to tell them that the Duggars are not to be looked upon as an example of how to make good decisions in your life. Because I don’t trust them anymore. I don’t believe them anymore. I am very, very angry.
I think the worst part aside from the actual acts which are horrid, is the cover up. The hiding behind the name and the Lord and the portraying of this man as a ‘healed’ sexual predator. It is not OK. It is not OK. It is not OK!
It is a further proof that no one can be trusted. No image is correct. No human is worth looking up to.
‘Famous’ or not.
a little harsh. Not everyone is perfect, and trying to portray the world is perfect and all good is setting your kids up for failure when they encounter the reality of life. Again that’s up to you to decide, but be prepared to be doing things for them and even living at home into their 30s. Also instill fear in them and others that everyone is dangerous. Good job
Thanks for the comment. I appreciate your opinion!
Those poor sisters…It’s a very shocking story.
As far as a good show to watch with your kids, my daughter and I love to watch The Little Couple. Jen is a great example as a mom and pediatrician..
I do worry about the girls that this happened to. I pray that they got the counselling they need to move on and heal from this…
I do love The Little Couple. It is on at a time we can’t watch it but when I catch it, I love them :)
Where is everyone getting that this happened to his sisters?
In none of the reputable news organizations does it EVER mention that it was his sisters, only that it was younger girls he knew, and it doesn’t say how young.
My problem with the media portrayal is that according to the law, even consensual sex or making out is considered molestation if the parents press charges. No knows what happens, it could be something as simple as a teenage sexual tryst gone to far that he confessed to his parents to and they reported that tryst to police because he was only 14 and the girls might have only been 14, or 13 or maybe even 12, we have no idea.
It is not our place to judge. It is our place as Christian’s to forgive and realize that EVERYONE makes mistakes and even those in the public eye make mistakes.
It is in the police report and the family has openly admitted it was 4 sister’s and a girl visiting the home. They have talked about the 5 victims. Some were even asleep when he touched their private parts. So it is more than a teenage curiosity, by the families own admission.
I would love to see that report about the sisters,,so far ive not been able to find it,,he was 15,,and there were no charges filed,,from what i understand the parents are the ones who turned him into police and he and those involved got conscilling,,i hate the double standard we have a minor can do wrong and oh boy lets skin him alive,but someone like bill clinton does wrong in the white house and nothing is done,he gets relected and hillary stands by her man again,he is a pervert but just waits until they are of age to do what he did,,,everyone forgave him,why cant josh duggar be giving forgiveness,,it was over 10 yrs ago that this happened seems like he has done a lot of good since then,,do I approve of what he did,,no i dont but I know a lot of teens and raised a few myself and they arent all really smart at age 15 and make some stupid mistakes,,,how many of us could have major magazines go back in our past and dig up dirt on what we did as a kid or young adult,,,i never got in serious trouble but I know some who did,,and have outgrown that behavior and learned from it,,he is being judged and convicted without a trial or everyone knowing all the facts,,ye who are without sin cast the first stone,,im not casting any stones yet and not making any judgements,,i have kids his age and older and grandchildren and they should have a special on TLC and discuss this openly and honestly and then let ppl decide what should have been done differently,,they took him to the police themselves,what else were they supposed to do?? how many of us would turn our teens over to the police? then there were no charges filed afterward,,i just dont get what the parents did wrong?? just my opinion,,as a Mom of 6 ages 40,36,34,32,30 and 23 and 14 grandchildren from age 15 to newborn,,so ive raised afew teens,,,and im a retired nurse,,luckily i have never had to turn one of my kids over to the police,,or bail them out of jail,,but im sure if someone dug deep enought they might find out something they did as a teen that I dont know about and to be honest after all this time has passed I dont want to know,they are all working ,raising families and doing a good job of it,
Strange this came out this week, as we just discovered this happened in our own home 4 years ag. I am being screamed at and NEARLY spit at by my neighbors, the perpetrator’s best friends, because they call me wicked for filing a report and turning in my own son. They had no concern that the victim was 4 and tricked. There is something wrong about using a child for one’s own pleasure. On some level, he knew it. This boy has grown up lying and manipulating, and we have skipped in and out trying to help him grow and learn and become a productive adult. I suspected something LIKE this, but never had proof (good lier), so we just kept trying to teach him and be good parents. Counseling, private school, after school activities, you name it, we’ve done it for him. But this…. this is a line he knew he was crossing and did it anyway. I suspect 2 other incidences with other people, but cannot prove those. So now I am the bad person for being the mother who had to call this in. As IF I wanted to!!! This is a nightmare we are ALL living, I don’t know how scarred the child will be, and it was at the hands of this son. Oh, yes, he is my stepson, so go ahead and be like my neighbors and tell me that I wouldn’t have done this if he were biologically mine. You would be wrong. Now, the question is, do we press charges? Do we protect the public? That would ruin his life. It’s a lot to shoulder, and people shouldn’t take it so lightly. Right now, the child needs to be thought of. But beyond that… I am sick. Maybe if the 2 other incidences came out, it would be so much more clear-cut. But currently, some peoples’ attitude is “teenage boy” excuse!!! This is a horrible position for a parent to be in. But the bottom line is, the child victim HAD NO CHOICE.
My daughter and I are huge Duggar fans. This has come as a huge and super unexpected shock for me. I thought that this family was one that we could look up to- a family that had morals and values. I know that we are human but it is just so hard to put the allegations ‘under the rug.’ I wonder if the show will actually be cancelled. I know that I won’t look at them the same way now.
I agree :(
I’m not a fan of the show. I have watched it a few times. The mother bugs me so bad. She’s always calm and how her everything is perfect. I’m shocked by what this guy did. The only good Christian family with good values & morals, I watch on tv is Duck Dynasty. I love how funny the show is and it’s good clean fun. No swearing or inappropriate things are ever on the show. It’s my favorite show. Lori, you should check it out, you may even like it. My nieces are 7 & 11 and they love all the funny things the guys do. It is sad that there’s so many bad shows on tv.
I’ll check it out for sure!
Have you tried the show Bringing up Bates it is on the UP network. The Bates family were friends with the Duggars severed all ties a few years back. You might want to watch that with your girls my kids love that show and it is wholesome and they do not bash anyone they keep most of their beliefs to a minimum in the show. It is a very well put together show.
Really? I did not know they severed ties! I remember them from 19 Kids
I too was shocked to the core and so dismayed about this. I don’t know the statistics and I don’t even want to know but I do know that this happens in a LOT of homes. So with 19 kids I think statistically this was bound to happen. Not an excuse but think about it. There really is nothing that you can safely watch anymore. Not even cartoons are immune. I’m glad my kids are all grown but I personally would like something wholesome to watch.
I read the police report on this today but it was a bit confusing. I also read that the I think maybe Sheriff that released it is in trouble because as a juvenile the record of this should have been sealed. Not only have the girls been harmed and who knows to what extent but also all their values they praised so much are mocked. What a mess that should have been handled the right way YEARS ago.
Well now they are naming the victims and I am sick for them :(