That’s a lie.

I do want my kids to go back to school. I want to get through one post or assignment, or phone call, or potty break, or anything else without being interrupted. I want the schedule. The consistency. The education of my children. I want them to make friends, to challenge the teachers with intelligent questions that make them think. I want to take photos on the first day of school, post them on Instagram and watch as my friends ooh and aah at the only coordinated outfit my independent children will wear all year. I want to pack their lunch, also known as making sure their school lunch account is full, watch them grow through the year and meet new friends. So, it is a lie. I want them to go back to school.

I Don't Want My Kids to Go Back to School

Except I don’t.

I Don’t Want My Kids to Go Back to School.

Not really.

For one simple reason.

HOMEWORK

I don’t want to do homework. I honestly don’t see the point in it, I never have, and the stress it puts on this family every evening is somewhat unpleasant. Not because my girls detest homework — well, another lie — they do (what kid doesn’t?) but because the constant, ‘Mom, can you help me?’ sprays from three little girl’s mouths like endless, gushing geysers… except not so majestic.

It isn’t that I am too stupid to help with homework – well, that’s a lie too – have you seen 4th grade math?!?— it’s that after having them gone learning for 8 hours we have to sit down for another hour – or two – and answer questions on a page torn from a book that is at school. Then I get them for dinner and then it is bedtime. I then have to get them up early so they can spend another long 8 hour day being educated and come home to another hour or two of homework.

The endless cycle is exhausting.

And unnecessary.

And stupid.

There. I said it. Homework is stupid.

I understand the reasons behind it. I do. I understand that studying has to be done to do well on a test. I do. I even understand the benefits of independent learning at home. Except that it is not independent. It includes me. Lots of me. Lots of tired, I have to get dinner ready, give the kids a bath, deal with the typical sibling rivalry, avoid all phone calls, argue with them as to why we don’t watch TV to ‘relax’ on school nights, say no 756,000 times and get them all to bed, me.

Having that hour or two where they can truly come home and relax with a book or a craft —or a conversation that does not include, ‘I know you are tired but you have to do your homework!’— where their brain can rest and they can actually be here, with me and no added pressure, would be awesome.

Like so awesome that I would dance naked in a pit of snakes if I had to to make it go away. I really would. Like, for real.

Homework and ‘it is a major part of their grade and conduct marks’ is overwhelming. I don’t know anyone who likes it. Not even teachers.

So, I say we do away with it. Give the after school hours back to play, relaxation and family harmony. After all, once they graduate, they have their entire lives to bring work home with them. Why not give them this 15 year gap without having to do it too?

I Don't Want My Kids to Go Back to School

Who is with me?!?! Who wants to ban homework nationwide? I say we start a petition. A pact. A riot on the paperwork that comes home that causes so much discord! Let’s end the need for mom’s to take algebra classes just to help solve a problem! Let’s end the tantrums, the bribery, the ridiculous waste of pencils! Let’s stand up as ONE and end the constant battle that is known as ‘Homework time’! Imagine the peace in the house that will be restored!!!

Or, I could do what I am told in order to get my kid the best education and grades possible so they will let her into 5th grade.

Which is no fun at all.

But it is best for her.

So I concede. I will again turn to google to help.

But homework still sucks. Hmph!