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How I Answer My Kids Questions

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It is here.  That dreaded time in childhood when no matter what I do, I can not get my kids to stop talking.  My husband did not believe that I field questions from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed… and even in the middle of the night.  Until this weekend.

We had a long drive for a birthday party on Saturday and a long drive for a blood drive on Sunday and he got the message loud and clear.  And over and over and over and over again.

Mommy, can I…

Mommy, I want…

Mommy, why…

MaMa!  MaMa!

And on it went.  Mile after mile, without stopping, often with many repeats. And even though we had 2 parents fielding the questions, we were still exhausted from the constant, non stop, noise of it all.

Seriously, non stop.

My husband even turned the music up at one point and then we burst out laughing because Katie was still talking.

And talking, and talking… and talking.

So on the way home – after watching them bless the girls who were sitting with them during the blood drive with their continual conversation talents – I decided to come up with some rules in the hopes of taming the uncontrollable.

Good Luck to me, I know.

Rule 1:  Each child is limited to 1000 questions – or comments related to a question – each day.  Now, I realize the littlest one can not really talk, so she gets 1000 MAMA’s!  After their alloted 1000, I am allowed to put on noise blocking headphones and dive head first into chocolate.

Rule 2:  The questions asked must have a purpose.  No more, “Mommy, can I pick my nose?”  “But why not?” “But why?” “But why?” “But I don’t know why?” None of those questions have a point.  And really, the entry question was gross so I have a right to count it as 2 questions.

Rule 3:  When I answer your question – I am done with it.  I am not changing my mind, changing my answer, altering the result in any way.  Asking again just causes me to get agitated and then you will most certainly not like my new answer!  Please move on to a new question…  if only to add variety to my day.

Rule 4:  Asking me a question, not liking my answer and immediately turning and asking your father the same question – while I am sitting right there – will result in the same answer.  Different words – usually starting with, “I JUST told you no!” may be had, but the end result is the same.  Except that now I am mad.  And wondering how in the world your brain computed that that would work!

Rule 5:  If you see my eyes start to bulge, steam escaping from my ears, and a crack start to form along my hairline, I advise you to run.

My head is about to blow.

And you do not want to be around for that.

Unless you want to help clean it up.

Which I doubt.

I have seen your rooms!

So that is it.  Pretty simple, easy to follow, logical rules.

Write them on your walls, draw them in your books, smear them in banana yogurt on my kitchen table.  But learn them.

While I put my head in my arms and realize that I forgot to put in the rule about no questions about the rules.

Rookie mistake.

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  • http://eschelle-mumfection.blogspot.com/ eschelle

    ROFL !!! best post i’ve read all day!!
    eschelle recently posted..If life was simple it wouldnt be rewarding

    • http://www.adayinmotherhood.com Lori Pace

      Thank you Eschelle! :)

  • http://www.lookwhatmomfound.com Rob

    LOL. Awesome post. Let me know how this goes. Rule 4 is the best. My 3 and 8 year old always breaks this rule. I know when they come ask me something that my first response should be did you ask your mother already because I have been dupped to many times.

    • http://www.adayinmotherhood.com Lori Pace

      It is amazing to me how they think that they can do that? Especially when I am right there! My husband is learning that too!! Thank you for reading Rob!
      Lori Pace recently posted..How I Answer My Kids Questions

  • http://blog.melaniersumner.com Melanie

    Lori, have you tried cognitive behavior therapy with the girls? I use some techniques with Dylan and it really works well in helping him understand things. Just thought I’d mention it because we’ve had such great success with it. Cheers!
    Melanie recently posted..Tastebud Overhaul

    • http://www.adayinmotherhood.com Lori

      No I have not but I will certainly look it up! Any education I have on how to do this parenting thing better is a good thing! Thank you Melanie! ;)
      Lori recently posted..How I Answer My Kids Questions

  • http://www.rachelpicturethis.com Rachel

    Funniest post I have read all day! Good luck with the rules, somehow I see you answering more questions about the rules than they are worth! Noise canceling headphones and chocolate diving sound divine come on over I will supply both just leave the noisy ones with the husband!!
    Rachel recently posted..Make Your Water Happy!

    • http://www.adayinmotherhood.com Lori

      WOOHOO!! I have a fellow Diver!! LOL I love that you laughed… I like doing funny ;)
      Lori recently posted..How I Answer My Kids Questions

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