Smoldering Anger: The Home Daycare Fire that Killed 4 Children

* I have been asked by so many to give an update on this tragic story so here is the latest that I know:

11/20/2012:  UPDATE!!  Raise your hands to the Lord above and thank him for entering the Jurors hearts and minds.  Jessica Tata received 80 years with no chance of parole this morning!!! Basically, LIFE IN PRISON!!!  Those babies will never come back but at least she will PAY!

11/16/2012:  I wanted to bring this update.  Maybe if we bring enough attention to this, our states will be more thorough on who they award home day care licenses to.  Not only did a 10 year old girl testify yesterday that Jessica Tata, the convicted, left little babies home alone while she took older kids to McDonald’s, but it has also come out that she has a juvenile record for arson.

No, I am not kidding.  I get more and more sick the more I learn.  PLEASE make sure you check on your child care provider.  These 4 babies died for NO REASON.  There were so many failures on so many levels.

11/12/2012:  Thank the Good Lord above, Jessica Tata, the woman who left 7 children under the age of 4 alone in her home day care while she went shopping at Target and to Starbucks, was found GUILTY of Felony Murder on one of the deaths!

I have watched this case very closely, still stunned that a woman caring for children would leave them alone in a house.  Not only that, she would do so leaving a pot of hot oil on a stove that was on.  The case brings tears to my eyes as I think of those seven little babies struggling to breath while she was out and about.  The Good Lord answered the prayers of her being charged with Murder as opposed to a lesser charge of child neglect.  More on the case is below.

Original Post

Yesterday was a big news day in Houston.  Discovery made its final, historic lift off to space, a police officer was shot while serving a warrant, and the weather was perfect.

And, breaking news at 2pm CST, a home daycare center was on fire and children were dead.  Details were sketchy but by the time I could sit down, with none of my own children around to listen, more were filling in.

3 babies were dead.  4 babies rushed to the hospital in critical condition. **Update – a 4th baby has died as a result of the injuries sustained in this fire – 2/27/2011**

As I watched the devastation, I automatically started questioning the fire and the woman in charge of 7 children, ages 15 months to 3 years old.

She was shown by the news cameras, talking to neighbors, seeming calm and collected, like someone who was simply discussing the details of a house fire, glad to have escaped with her life, not mourning 3 children who had died in her home.  And as I listened to her story, relayed by the newscaster, that she had come out of a bedroom to see her home on fire and dashed to the door, unable to see any of the 7 children to save them, I immediately had doubts.

As the camera panned out and I saw the firefighters on the roof, cutting holes to let out the smoke, and emergency personnel obviously fighting to hold it together after what they had seen, I wondered how the fire had gotten so intense so fast.  And I wondered, if she were right there with those children, or just one room away while they napped, why didn’t she smell smoke before it engulfed the house?  And then it hit me – right in the gut…  she was not home!

It explained everything.  How, even though she should know where the 7 children were, she managed to grab not one single one on her way out, or bust a window and start throwing children from the house, knowing a parent would want a child with a broken bone more than not one at all.  And it explained how she was standing in the street, chatting up neighbors, while emergency crews were performing CPR on her front lawn to lifeless, smoke residue covered children, and her vibrant, red shirt did not have a spot on it.

And the anger started.  Building from my womb that had born three and rising to my brain who knew things were suspicious and just not right.  It passed my heart, bleeding tears for the scared, screaming babies, stuck in that house, and wiped away my tears that were falling freely.

And with every report, update, and mention of this story, I felt it grow, fueling my need to know more.

When the news reported today that there were eyewitness reports from neighbors that they saw the daycare provider pull into her driveway, hands full of groceries, minutes before coming out screaming, “My babies!  My babies! Somebody save my babies!”, I knew my suspicions were right.

And then I was really angry.

When I found out that one of the dead children was on day 2 at that daycare, I was angrier.  And when the news interviewed one of the neighbors, who had broken a window and tried to save a little boy he saw, arms outstretched, crying for his mother, but was too overcome by smoke and could not see him to grab him, I was seriously mad.  Because that meant the fire had been going for  a while… and no one was there to get them out when they could have.

I know bad things happen.  Children are killed, murdered, and abused every single day.  But for some reason,  I can not let the anger of this one go.  I want to go find the irresponsible woman who decided that heading to the grocery store and leaving 7 children, ages 15 months to 3 years old to tend to themselves, was a perfectly good childcare practice, and shake her until my rage is gone.

I think this one is too much.  Too close to home.  Too unnecessary.    Too scary.

Katie was in a home childcare center her first year and though I knew the woman who was watching her, I prayed that this kind of thing did not happen every single time I dropped her off.  And I know these mothers did too.

Whether we stay home with our kids or we trudge off to work everyday, all parents have to leave their precious children with someone else at times.  We can not be with them 24 hours a day.  We do it every day when they go to school, a friend’s house to play, or Grandma’s for a sleepover.  We all do so with an understanding that we will pick them up when we want them back.  And that they will be as healthy as when we left them.

None of us expects a phone call screaming at us to get there as soon as possible – something horrible has happened.  And if we get one, we don’t expect for our child to be dead.  Especially not at the hands of the one we pay to take care of them.   I do consider this murder if it is proven that the “caregiver” was not home.

So here I sit, typing out this post, my fingers flying on the keyboard, only stopping to wipe my damp eyes, wondering if I should even post it.  Is my anger for a woman I do not know, my mourning for children I don’t know, and my heartache for the parents whose lives have been altered permanently even justified?  Or am I being selfish and internalizing this tragedy too much.

Or is this all I can do.  Just write about it.  Hope that it resonates with people and that they take it in and use it as an opportunity to really, seriously, diligently check out their childcare provider.  Do drop ins and spot checks like I used to, without warning, and at odd times, just to make sure everything is on the up and up.  And pray that if every one does it, these deaths, in the home of an apparently negligent woman, were not for naught.

Or maybe I am just looking to find a place to transfer my smoldering anger.

Link Update – She has fled to Nigeria!!!!  A burner was left on with a pot of oil on the stove while she grocery shopped!

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=7985674

3/30/2011:  YES!  The daycare owner has been charged with 4 counts of Murder – along with her other charges!

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=8044392

3/20/2011 – FINALLY!!!  The daycare operator is currently on her way back to Houston to face her crime!!

- The daycare owner fled the country the Friday after the fire.  She is in Nigeria.  The Houston Fire Department asked 6 times to have her secured because they believed her a flight risk, and all 6 times, the DA said no.   She is now on the US Marshall’s Most Wanted list.

-  Funerals for 4 babies were held this week.  The most devastating account I heard – and this will break your heart so be warned – a 3 year old boy that died was one of 2 siblings at the daycare.  His 2 year old sister survived with burns on the lower part of her body.  They say that the 3 year old boy laid over his sister during the fire.  He was burned beyond identification.

- There is video of the woman shopping at Target while the fire was happening and she was charged 2 times as a juvenile for arson.

There are more details here: http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=7996338

Filed Under: Houston, Life Out There, New Posts, Take Action Tagged With: , , , ,

The Breast Feeding Baby Doll

This is back in the news so I thought I’d repost it to see what everyone thinks 4 month later!

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A top story on my local newscast this evening was a story about a European doll, manufactured since 2009, hitting US Shelves.  Why is it attracting attention?

Because it features an apron with flowers for nipples and a baby who makes sucking noises and cried to be nursed.  The child puts the apron on and “nurses” her baby doll.

Bebe Gloton – or the “Breast Milk Baby”, is being released this spring on US Shelves.

I do not know how I feel about this baby doll.  This toy that my children will no undoubtedly see on shelves of retailers in our area.  And most likely ask for.

Would I buy it?  Would I entertain the idea of buying it?

I don’t know.

When Megan was born, I had an almost 3 year old and an almost 2 year old. They certainly took notice of my breastfeeding and even asked if they could feed sometimes.  I thought it was cute, even told them that they could, and laughed as they ran off – acting like silly girls.  And I do remember Sarah sitting next to me with her baby “nursing” her as well.

But, in general, their baby dolls are bottle fed.  It is how they came out of the package and I see no reason to encourage anything different.

I try to imagine my little girls, in their rooms, with a “nursing” coat on with flowers where nipples should be, “nursing” a toy that makes sucking noises while it does.  And I have a hard time doing so without getting an icky kind of feeling.

But on the other hand, all three of my daughters were breastfed, and I see it as a natural occurrence in baby care.  And it has never bothered me when moms have nursed in restaurants or stores or anywhere else.

So it would stand to reason that this doll would not bother me at all.

And yet it does.

Does that make me a hypocrite?

I don’t know.

So I turn to you – my trusty, amazing readers.

What are your thoughts on this controversial doll?  Do you see it as a promotion of the lesson of human nutrition and education?  Or do you think it feeds more fire to the dragon of making our children grow up too fat?

I really am interested in all sides and opinions!

Filed Under: Houston, Life Out There, My Recent Writings Tagged With: ,

BLOGGERS: Great OPP for Charity & You

A week or so ago I posted about my involvement with Click 4Hope and All You magazine to raise money for the Tornado Victims!

Well thanks to HUGE blogs like Freebies4Mom.com and other bloggers, we have raised $12,100 for tornado victims in just one week!  And the donor has gotten a great magazine and other incentives!  And the blogger gets an affiliate fee for every subscription.

So, now, to speed up the race for the $30,000 goal we are reaching out to fellow bloggers and asking that you help promote this charitable program on your blog too!

PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK to start the process of setting up your donation page

**You MUST put that I am your Referal Source, Please!**

If you would like to purchase All You Magazine for $25 for 30 issues {.83 an issue} with $10 going to relief efforts, please support my efforts and click HERE!

All funds raised through Click 4 Hope will be disbursed to reliable non profit organizations such as the Samaritans Purse, Salvation Army, or church organization that is actively participating in relief efforts.

**I am an affiliate for Click4Hope.com and receive compensation for every subscription made.  Program entrants are also affiliates.**

Filed Under: Life Out There, Pay It Forward, Take Action Tagged With: ,

Underage Drinking: What Would You Do?

This morning I packed up my girls and headed over to my friends neighborhood pool so that that girls could play in their splash pad.  We had so much fun watching the girls run in and out and play with their friends.

We then went to Taco Bell where Megan taught me that changing a swim diaper soon after getting out of the water is of major importance.  Because I was wrangling three girls and the stuff of three girls, I forgot and she squatted and peed right in the middle of the restaurant.  At lunch time.

A very proud mama moment.

After mopping the floor with the entire pack of napkins, we headed home.

I turned into our neighborhood, yet again happy we moved into a family friendly, private place where my kids could run and play despite the challenging year we have had.

Ahead of me was a boy riding his bike.  He was maybe 12 years old.  I noticed as he rode slowly and kind of zigzaggy that he was controlling the bike with one hand and had something in the other.  From the back it looked like  a puppy.

I love puppies so I looked as I drove by and saw something that was most certainly not a puppy.

In his hand he had a beer!

No, I am not kidding.

He had something over it obviously in an attempt to hide it, but it was a Shiner Boch beer – yellow label clearly seen.

He was not 21, and he had no adult with him that he could be ‘holding” it for, so I was shocked.

Because I am an “it take a village to raise a kid” kind of mom, I slowed immediately to watch what he was doing with a beer at 2pm on a summer day.

He noticed that I slowed down and so did he.  But I did continue to the next Stop sign.    My intention was to roll down my window and ask him why he had a beer and then take it from him, hopefully instilling a little dose of fear to help prevent him from taking another one.

Well, he outsmarted me, and I watched as he nervously passed my passenger side window right as I was rolling down the window, looking back at me every few seconds.

I gunned my gas, u -turned, and headed back down the street he had turned on.  He was no where to be found.

From teenage experience, I assumed he was hiding in between houses, hard to do when the whole neighborhood is acre lots though, or had slipped behind a house that had no fence.

In any event, he had disappeared in a hurry.  And he stayed hidden because I tried to outsmart him and come back around but I never saw him again.

Now I worry that he went and hid somewhere and drank that beer.  Probably not his first one.

I began to wonder, though, would his parents have been upset with me for stopping him and taking the beer from him?  Did I have a right to do that?

I decided yes basing it on my own desire as a parent.  If that were my daughter, I would hope someone, anyone, everyone would stop and take that beer from her, give her a stern talking to, and then come and tell me every detail.

But what if his parents thought I should mind my own business?  What if they had been upset that a stranger tried to step in and discipline, in a way, their son?

My husband thinks it was not my place because it was not even my friends child.  I did not know him at all so I should have let it go.

I asked my neighbor what she thought and she said what I did.  If it were her kid, she would want help in stopping him from drinking, at least, that beer.  And she added that society as a whole does not step in enough with kids and that is why so many are out of control these days.

Because they know that no one will tell or discipline them out of fear of negative reprimand.

What do you think?  Was I right in tracking this boy in a real attempt to take that beer?  Or should I have hit the gas, forgotten what I saw, and just prayed I was wrong and it was really a beer shaped, yellow labeled Coke.

That he was clearly hiding.

In plain sight?

Filed Under: Life Out There, Lifestyle, Sweeps, Take Action Tagged With: ,

I LUV Colgate’s Building Smiles Tour! #BuildingSmiles

Last Friday, I had the chance to head over to a nearby Walmart and board the Colgate Bright Smiles, Bright Futures Oral Care Van.  By the time I left I was impressed with the program, the way it is set up, and the people who give their time to it!

I also used and abused my privileges of getting to be there, for the few moments when parents and kids were not on the van, and drilled Dr. Victor Rodriguez on questions about my own families oral care habits!

Volunteering his time and hour away from his office in Clear Lake, TX, Dr. Rodriguez was kind, cheerful, and informative.  And he answered every question I had and every question that the parents of his patients had, in both English and Spanish!

I asked a few pestering questions that I had been saving for our family dentist.  And I am paraphrasing his answers!

How often should young children floss?

- Once a day.  It is good to get young children used to the feeling of floss and the routine of it.  Along with brushing twice a day, flossing should be habit in any household.

Can they use the ‘picks’ that I see at the store to floss?

- It is really better to use regular adult floss on them that you, the parent, wraps around your finger and flosses them with.  Regular floss will not hurt them and the picks may not reach back in small mouths or just be chewed on instead of used properly.  And you want them to know what real flossing is as early as possible.

I put my kids to bed with milk still.  How bad is it really for baby teeth?

- It is not good.  Even 1% and 2% milk has sugar in it and that sugar eats away at their teeth overnight.  Baby teeth can still get cavities and need additional dental care.  You want to put your kids to bed with water if they insist on having a drink.

That is about all of the questions I had time for with as busy as the van was!

Check out my slide show of my visit!

I turned my attention to the man running the show.  He referred to himself as ‘Mr. Toothbrush’ and was in total control of everything from driving the van to getting the consent forms to blowing up the balloons to handing out the info packs.  He was the jack of all smiles on the van!

He told me the Bright Smiles, Bright Future van had been in existence since 1991 and that he himself had been witness to thousands of kids getting a necessary report on their current dental health.

He told me that all of the dentists that participate are volunteers.  And if there is a ‘bad’ report or a mouth that needs further attention, they will refer that family to an area dentist to seek further treatment.

My Colgate Stockpile

By the time I left, I was more than impressed with the program, the people on the van, and the parents that took advantage of a free professional exam offered to them by Colgate.  I was glad that Colgate is the only brand we use in our house and that my efforts to stockpile it help support a program such as this!

And I left with a new resolve to tighten up the dental care habits of my kids in our home.  I have introduced flossing by having my kids come and watch me so they know it is not scary, am taking yet another shot at getting them to go to sleep without milk, and am more determined to make sure they do brush their teeth twice a day.

Because, as Dr. Rodriguez explained, even though baby teeth fall out and are replaced, they are the perfect set to practice on for your big kid teeth!

The Colgate Building Smiles Tour could be coming to your community!  Take your kids and meet some really great, dedicated people, and tell them you learned about it here!  Plus get some free products and valuable coupons!

CLICK HERE TO SEE TOUR LOCATIONS

“Like” Colgate on  Facebook

Follow Colgate on Twitter


**This post has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for #CollectiveBias.  ADayinMotherhood.com is the writer and distributor of this post.  100% of the opinions and writings are ADayinMotherhood.com’s and can not be duplicated without prior permission. Your experience with this event may differ from mine. Images and links were used with permission from the marketing/ participating company.**

Filed Under: Houston, Life Out There, Lifestyle, Promos

10 Road Trip Family Safety Tips

 

My husband and I have been sitting down, checking the budget, and trying to plan a few road trips this summer with the kids.  We are definitely headed for the beach and then we thing think a National Park for a few days.

In our preparations, we want to make sure our car is as ready for the road as we are!  The last thing we want is to be stranded with three kids and stuck waiting for help!

1)  Have a stockpile.  I pack diapers, wiped, extra clothing, and a few blankets in a bucket to have in the car.  If something does happy, I want to make sure I can at least sustain them for a few days out of my bucket!

2)  In a separate bag I carry my 1st Aid Kit, a bug bite pen, allergy cream, extra band aids, and any other itemI can think of for a medical emergency.

3)  I always have a case of water in my car at all times.  I never know when I will need them to give to me or the kids.  Plus, I have enough for teeth brushing and modified baths if we were to be stranded for a long time.

4)  I pack a lot of snacks.  Non – perishable, easy snacks like granola bars, fruit snacks, pull can tuna, and so on.  Anything that can sustain us for a few days and not spoil or need refrigeration.

5) I always, always have pillows and blankets when I travel with my kids.  Even if we are staying at hotels.  I watch too much Dateline and know that there is always a possibility that we could get lost and stuck.  I need to be able to make beds for my kids!

6)  A few days before we leave on road trips, we take the car in for a ‘check up’.  Sure, it costs a little, but to have the oil changed, the tired inflated to the proper pressure, and any other mechanical thing checked ahead of time is a lot cheaper than a tow and repair bill!

7)  MAPS!  Even with the modern technology of smart phones and GPS systems, a map is a necessity.  If you are stranded and do not have a tower to ping from, the phone will do you no good!  It is always smart to have a back up!

8) Have non electronic entertainment on board for the kids.  Colors, crayons, puzzles.  Anything that will keep them occupied while you look at the map to see where you are going!

9)  A back up plan!  Make sure that if a leg of your trip falls through, you have another place to go!

10)  A sense of humor!  Chances are something will go wrong on your trip with your kids!  If you can laugh about it at the time, you will get a lot further down the road faster!

Sterlite windows also has some awesome reminder tips about your windows!

- A chip could turn into a crack at any time, often when you are least expecting it. Windshield repair is often a safe and economical alternative to a full windshield replacement.

- Forget do-it-yourself repair kits. The resin could easily shrink or yellow, lowering the quality of the repair. Safelite AutoGlass uses a patented repair process… A vacuum is created over the damaged area and the resin penetrates and fills the finest micro-cracks. The technician pulls off the vacuum changer and the UV light hardens the resin. Safelite’s resin is proven to be the strongest and longest lasting on the market.

- An added benefit is that by offering repairs as an alternative to replacement, Safelite AutoGlass saves approximately 35,000 tons of CO2 during windshield production each year, enough to fill the Empire State Building approximately 19 times. In addition, it saves the number of damaged windshields being sent to the landfill by approximately 12,500 tons annually.

So pack up, tell the kids, and hit the road.  But just to make sure you are all prepared, plan ahead!

About Safelite AutoGlass:
Safelite AutoGlass® was founded in 1947. Throughout our more than 60 years of service, our company has grown from a single store in Wichita, Kansas, to a national auto glass provider, serving nearly 4 million customers per year.

Through industry-leading 24-hour instant scheduling, convenient in-shop or mobile service, top-of-the-line materials and SafeTech™ certified technicians, you’ll find that Safelite AutoGlass offers superior customer service, value and quality.

More info: http://www.safelite.com

Follow Safelite on Twitter: @safelite

*I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Safelite blogging program, for a gift card worth $30. For more information on how you can participate, click here!*

Filed Under: Life Out There Tagged With: ,

AMF Summer Unplugged = FREE Games for Kids!

Summer is HERE!

Well… NEAR!!

Almost HERE!

And it is time to start planning some summer activities with those bored kids who are used to being woken at 6am with a jolt!

On my list for sure is bowling!  Now, my kids are young but we have taken them bowling and they had a blast!  They want to go back so we will be taking full advantage of AMF’s Free Bowling for kids 16 and under during their SUMMER UNPLUGGED Event!

Here are the basics:

For kids 16 and under, AFC Bowling Centers will give 2 FREE GAMES per DAY!  Yea, uh huh…  I said DAY!   You have to pay for shoe rental but who cares!  2 FREE GAMES A DAY!

Cha CHING!

And AFC has made is so easy for parents to get their coupons!

CLICK HERE and fill out the form!  With over 200 AMF Bowling Centers, there is sure to be one near you.  The coupons will be sent to you every Sunday starting May 29 for you print and take with you to the bowling alley!

Are you over 17?  Well, there are great deals for you too!

For families of registered kids, a one-time payment of $27.95 buys 2 games per day for 4 people all summer long – it’s the AMF Summer 17 Plus Pass.  Less than $7 per person for 2 games everyday all summer.  Available online at http://bit.ly/AMFfree.

Come on!  That is a pretty awesome deal!

And there is even MORE!

Kids combo meals all summer for $2.99!!  Soooo cheap!

Plus there will be Pin decorating contest!  The decorated pins will be uploaded to the AMF Facebook page and the pin with the most votes on Facebook in each of 4 age divisions wins a $2500 scholarship prize!  Not only that, AMF will donate $.25 cents per vote up to $10,000 to Susan G. Komen for the Cure®!

So get online, find your location, register your kids of all ages and let’s get to some serious bowling – in air conditioned, inside, safe, alleys – this SUMMER UNPLUGGED!

**I participated in this campaign as a member of One2One Network and am eligible for a prize drawing.  All opinions stated in the post are my own.**

Filed Under: Deals, Life Out There, Lifestyle, Popular Cultural

Women vs Women?

All I have been hearing lately is the buzz around the secret child of Arnold Schwarzenegger.  He fathered a son out of wedlock with a household employee who has worked with the family for 20 years!  The sensational story is heartbreaking for me.  For Maria Shriver, for their 4 children together, and for the woman who kept the secret for 13 years.

And then I watch the new Shania Twain show.  The one on OWN that is chronically following her through the journey of recovery after her husband, the father of her child, and her best friend carried on a two year affair.  And I hurt for her.  And all involved.

I am angry at these men for doing this to these woman.  I want to grab them and say, “If you have to have an affair, please leave first!  Do not have the label of cheater attached to the label of divorcee!”  I want to grab these woman and hug them until it all becomes more livable.

I have not been through it in my marriage, but I have in life.  But never with a close friend.

The thought does run through my head, though.  The one that questions the women that participated in the affairs.  Then ones who made a conscious decision to  betray a friend in the name of a forbidden affair.

I think about my friends now.  I think about how painful it would be for any of them to go through the reality of an affair.  And then I think of the additional damage that it would cause if it were a close friend.

I almost tear up just thinking about it.

Imagine, in Shania’s case, that you are starting to understand that, for whatever reason, your marriage that you are committed to is falling apart.  Blindly, you lean on the woman you trust most.  Your best friend.  She tells you that she is so sorry and you do not deserve it and that she will be there for you through it all.

And then you find out that it is she, the one you count on and confide in, that is bedding your husband and ruining your family.

How do you recover from that?  Not only the ultimate betrayal of your husband but the blatant manipulation and outright lies of your best friend?  I do not think I could ever get off the floor.  How she did is amazing to me.

I pray for Maria Shriver.  Who obviously trusted and loved this woman she had in her home for 20 years.  A woman who was there through her four pregnancies, witnessing the love and bonding of a mother to child and a husband to wife.  A woman who carried her child by another husband in the same home at the same time that Maria carried her fourth.

As a woman, how do you do that to another?  How do you let the wife of the man you bedded throw you a baby shower? How do you hand her your child to adore and welcome to this world knowing that you betrayed her to the ultimate to get that child?  How do you swallow your ability to love and care for another human being and raise his love child among his wife’s children?

I am truly baffled.  I can say that I would never favor another’s husband, much less my closest – or even more casual – friends.

I suppose it is an old story, woman vs. woman.  And I know that money and power and security probably plays a role in the secrecy of both of these situations.  And I still think the husbands shoulder most of the guilt.

But I also wonder if it is in all of us?  To betray another in the name of ourselves?  To cast aside the women we hold valuable to appease our own wants and desires? And then to pose as a true friend, trusted employee, and fraud with, seemingly, no intention of fessing up?

Friendships are valuable, especially close, female ones.  We trust them with our fears, desires, and our children.  We depend on them to catch our tears and lift our laughter.  We know that no matter how ridiculously we handle something, they will be there to forgive and understand.  I just do not think you can have a quality friendship with a woman without all of these things!

Sure, in my younger years, catty behavior and nativity led to many a hurt feeling.  But as a mature, lived a little, know what is important in life, woman, I can not imagine the feelings that these woman are dealing with.

I do hate that I am in judgement of the ‘other’ women in these stories.  In fact, I have stared at this post for an hour wondering if I am, in fact, betraying them by being so harsh.

If I am and am unable to see the other side, then I suppose I am arrogant.

But I love my girlfriends and hold them to the highest esteem.  And I would hope that they would do the same for me.

As I suppose Maria and Shania did too.

 

 

Filed Under: Life Out There, Lifestyle

Guest Post – Fine Dining: FAIL!

Thank you to Melissa at www.Tablefor2andaHalf.com for this wonderful Guest Post!

Melissa Greiner is a Philadelphia-based writer and editor covering food, wine, parenting, home and anything else that catches her fancy. She has been published in a variety of magazines, including Parenting: Early Years, Philadelphia Style and Main Line Today. She is the Philadelphia blogger for Haute Living and the wine blogger for Drink Philly. She also works as a copywriter for area marketing and communication agencies.  And, of course, she’s the proud mom to Little Man.  For more on what Mel’s working on, follow her personal Twitter handle, @MelGreiner.

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I’m lucky enough to say that my career actually requires me to try new restaurants, and have even gone so far as to dedicate a great deal of space on my blog on how becoming a parent hasn’t required me to give up my cafe-hopping ways. I will be the first to smile at the couple trying to enjoy their glasses of pinot noir as their slightly squirming three-year old looks on.

But I’m not an idiot. I know when to say when. I know that some worlds simply cannot collide. And I wish the family sitting next to me at dinner this past Saturday night did, too.

Now, I’m not calling either of the adults in question “idiots.” I don’t know the circumstances behind the event. But I am calling them discourteous. I am all about maximizing the experience for my family, except when it crosses over into potentially ruining it for the others in my midst. Yes, children (and that includes babies and toddlers) can dine at restaurants that don’t have cartoon mascots or even kids’ menus. But there are rules, people. Fine dining establishments may be aiming too high.

Still can’t figure it out?

* If every gentlemen in restaurant is wearing a jacket and tie, and yours is now splattered with a substance I’m pretty sure won’t be coming out, you may have chosen the wrong restaurant.

* If the romantic glow of the candles is being washed out by the lights and sound-effects of your child’s iPad war battle, you may have chosen the wrong restaurant.

* If standard table settings come with more than four forks, which are all now on the ground and creating an obstacle course for your waiter, you may have chosen the wrong restaurant.

* If the high-pitched screams of your toddler are downing out the gentle strains of the violins, you may have chosen the wrong restaurant.

People make mistakes … this I know as I am often guilty of it myself. But the suitable action to take when your mistake is realized is to save face, apologize, and move on. Not casually whisper “shhh” to your left and then order the chocolate soufflé for dessert.

How this family walked out of the restaurant without blood dripping down their legs is beyond me, as more than 20 tables were shooting daggers at them all night. I can only hope they tipped their poor waiter generously, or at least relegated their family dinners to the local McDonalds until their son reaches college graduation.

 

**Would YOU like to Guest Post on ADayinMotherhood.com?  Please send your bio and Post to lomargieatgmaildotcom and if I see it as a fit, I will post it!**

Filed Under: Guest Posts, Humor, Life Out There

Just Call Me Crazy

I have lost my cotton pickin’, barely there, definitely not operating in all cylinders mind!

Why, you ask?

Because, after going through the heartbreaking death of my sweet dog Ali a few months ago, helping my neighbor birth and nurse 18 puppies over the last 6 weeks and telling my kids 876456 times that we will NOT be getting a 3rd dog, my husband goes and gets one and I, clearly not able to send a 6 week old bulldog mix puppy back, am now in charge of one more four legged friend.

Named Buster.

I did not even get to name him.

Yes, you read that correctly.  We now have a new puppy.

A third dog.

Another soul for me to tend to.

Those who know me will say that I am acting put out and this is right up my alley.  I love dogs and we live on an acre with lots of room for him to run with my other two dogs, so it is not totally unfathomable that I am a little happy to have him.  It has just been really kind of nice with two.

Kinda like kids.  Two seems manageable to me but three sends me into the crazy lady personality faster than I can eat an Oreo.

He’ll be mostly an outside dog like my other two.  Out all day and in at night.  Unless there is bad weather.  Or I feel bad for them.  Or I miss them.

My husband sold him as a “lesson” for the girls.  He said it would teach them how to truly take care of something and make sure it was well tended to.  But in reality, I will be his primary caregiver  Because they don’t take care of things… they destroy things.

In the end, I did like taking him to the pet store and getting him some necessary puppy taking care of items.  And he snuggles like nobody’s business.  And seems to already like me best.

So, I suppose he is a keeper.

Welcome to the family Buster.  I might scream sometimes but it is ok… I still love you!

 

Filed Under: Life Out There, Lifestyle

NCHS Red Light Camera Safety Video – Please Take A Moment

This is a subject near to my heart as I have seen what red light running can do to a family.  Houston has recently stopped using red light cameras and I wish they had continued.  Please take a moment to read and see this video and share it with those you love!

“Keeping our families safe on the road is a very important task that we undertake as parents. We drive carefully, keep our cars in tip-top shape, and make sure everyone is buckled in safely on each and every trip. Unfortunately, we can’t control what other drivers on the road are doing. We must rely on the police and essential safety equipment, such as red light safety cameras, to help keep us safe.

A recent study by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) found that 113,000 people were injured and 676 were killed in crashes that involved red-light running in 2009 – two-thirds of the victims were pedestrians, bicyclists and occupants of vehicles hit by the red-light runners.

The study also showed that red-light safety cameras helped save more than 150 lives in 14 of the biggest U.S. cities from 2004 to 2008. Had the cameras been operating in all 99 U.S. cities with populations more than 200,000, more than 800 lives could have been saved.

Each time we enter an intersection, our families are at risk of becoming the victim of an accident – whether on foot or in a vehicle. Red light safety cameras help to change driver behavior and reduce the risk to our loved ones, however many people are unaware just how valuable these cameras are to those on the road.

The National Coalition for Safer Roads has created a powerful video, showing just how tragic the consequences of running a red light can be.

You can find the National Coalition for Safer Roads on their website, Twitter and Facebook pages, for more information about this important initiative.

Join the Coalition in spreading this important message. You may save the life of a loved one or spare a family the heartbreak of losing a life to a tragic intersection accident.”

Thank you!

 

**I posted this as a member of Global Influence.  I received no compensation for sharing.**

Filed Under: Life Out There, Take Action

True Crime? A Caper in my Neighborhood?

I only have one week left of my two eldest girls being at preschool to enjoy.  I am excited about summer but will miss this one on one time with Megan.

So today, she and I set out on a very slow, have to stop and look at everything, I found out she knows the work “sky”, walk.

We headed down our little street and crossed to the other side of the neighborhood loop.  My goal was to watch her… relish is her… enjoy her.

And then I saw a shoe.

Hmm?

A womans flat, black with a twisted type wrap, and an open peek a boo toe. It looked new.  Not at all like a used one that fell out of a trash can.  Next to it lie a rectangular piece of cardboard like you would remove from the back of a picture frame.

Curious, I turned my attention back to my toddler and continued to answer her pointed questions.  You know, when she points and says “dah?”.

We got a few feet further and she stopped to look at something.  I went over and a broken picture frame with a picture of three women dolled up for a night out on the town sat on the side of the road.

Now that is weird.  The frame was in really good shape and the picture was lovely.  But the glass was shattered and seemed to be placed, oh so gently, on top of the picture?

Dun Dun Duuuunnnnn…

Megan lost interest in me telling her not to touch the glass so we moved on.

A few feet down was a wrought iron swirly thing that you would hang by your front door.  Again, in wonderful shape with no visible reason why it would be discarded in the middle of  a private street.  A street where people are aware – almost  nosey – about things and it surely would have been picked up.  Especially since trash day was yesterday.

Megan and I turned to head back to our house as I put together the clues in my head.

A good condition shoe, the back of a picture frame, a nice picture in a pretty frame with glass placed on top, and a wrought iron outdoor decor piece.  All on a well taken care of, albeit, lowly traveled street.

Hmmm….

And then Megan found another piece of glass – I assume from the broken frame – on the other side of the street, a ways away from the frame.

Now THAT is odd?  Some glass stacked, some shattered across the street?

I examined the evidence again as we headed home.  I was careful not to touch any of it, lest it be needed for evidence later.  Or my fingerprints transfer and I become a suspect in the greatest crime to hit our neighborhood ever!

I mean, imagine if there were actually some sort of newsworthy happening here and I were the one interviewed and a key prosecution witness to the state of the evidence before it entered the Houston crime lab and became contaminated and lost and all DNA was washed away?  And what if my account led to the capture of the criminal and the safe return of the victim or property?

Ohhh – I’d be on Oprah!  She would move a last season show just for me!  And the ladies of The View would all want to sit next to me!  I’d trump Arnold’s love child!

I’ll have to get my hair done.  And find a way to plug my blog.

And – finally – I would have a book deal!

Oh it will be so exciting!!!

Or, it could be that the people that just moved in overstuffed their trash cans and some stuff fell out and, with cars driving down the road, the stuff was spread around a little.  And in their rush to get to work this morning they stacked the loose glass on the frame and made a mental note to throw it away when they got home.

Sigh…  yea, that is probably it.

I guess I will get back to my daughter now…  and watching her point and say “sky” and get my imagination under control!

And I guess I need to stop watching 20/20, True Crime, and Disappeared late at night!

Filed Under: Humor, Life Out There, Popular Cultural

MurphyUSA and Foursquare Saved Me $$ on Gas Today!!

At MurphyUSA

Gas prices are HIGH!  So very, very high.   I choke every time it takes $60 bucks to fill up my minivan!

In my interest to save every single penny I can on gas and – more importantly – my husband’s gas bill, I search high and low for deals.  Because every single dollar counts!

I found out recently that this wonderful FREE “check in”  app on my phone called Foursquare, which I am addicted to since getting my phone 2 weeks ago, has specials attached to certain stores when you “check in”.

Getting Gas!

All I did to get it was go to my app market on my phone and scroll until I found Foursquare.  I signed up and boom, my GPS found my phone and the locations around it including restaurants, gas stations, clothing stores, and more!  Plus, it listed specials that certain places offer just for checking in with Foursquare!

And when I do check in somewhere, it posts to my Facebook and Twitter accounts.  Now my friends and I in my area can chat about places I am!  It really is great!

So I took my phone with my Foursquare app and headed to MurphyUSA, the gas stations at WalMart,  who has a special on Foursquare offering $2 off of your $20 or more gas purchase at any of their 1000 locations!  With gas being close to $4 a gallon, $3.78 at the MurphyUSA I went to today, $2 makes a difference!  If anything, it just makes me happy to know that a gas company cares!

So, I took my husband, his gas drinking truck, and my daughters to MurphyUSA today to see if I could get my $2 off every $20 or more purchase!

My Savings Crew!

The GPS on my phone located and I checked in at MurphyUSA on Foursquare!  Sure enough, the gas special popped up!  In addition, there was another special for a free pack of gum so I took advantage of that too!

It was so easy!  I showed the cashier the code on Foursquare, they entered into the computer, I told them how much gas I wanted,  they deducted the $2 and then my husband filled up his truck.

And then we drove away feeling a little less, well, depressed about our gas bill!

So sign in and check in with Foursquare and start saving at MurphyUSA!   I sure will be taking full advantage of this deal this summer!

 

**This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias.  All opinions and writings are my own.  Your experience with the products/ apps discussed may not be the same as mine.**

Filed Under: Coupons, Life Out There, Lifestyle, Take Action

Botox Baby: The 8 Year Old Botox Story

I am so humbly honored that this post was in the Blogger Spotlight on BlogHer.com Family on 5/12/2011!

OK…  I am going to try to stay calm during this one.  I promise, I am going to really try!

Did anyone see the Good Morning American piece on the mother who injected her 8 year old child with BOTOX for a beauty pageant?

No, I am not kidding.

I wish to God I were!

I watched the interview, read the article, and reread the article.  And it makes no sense to me still!

Why, dear God, are we subjecting our kids to things that are clearly not for them in the name of beauty, competition, and vanity?

First there was the toddler thong.

And then make up for kids.

And now THIS?

I don’t give a flying flip if the little girl asked her Mom to help her with her “worry lines” – seriously? – I don’t care that her Mother is a register aesthetician and has administered it to herself, and I really don’t give a hairs butt care that they think it gives the little girl confidence in pageants.  I DON’T CARE!!

SHE IS 8!!!

8!!!

And this woman is putting a foreign substance in her face and promoting psychological issues for the rest of this child’s life!

What is going on here?

Sure, this is one Mom doing one thing. But we all know that, for some unknown reason, America seems to thrive on making children grow up too fast.  We expose them to sex too early, vanity and jealousy too early, and cater to their wants way too much.

I don’t know much about Botox, I don’t.  But I know that it is not a natural substance and just because it is deemed “safe” by the FDA and doctors and whomever else seems to be able to predict the future and see how this stuff will affect us in 50 years, does not mean it is appropriate for an 8 year old!

Aspirin is deemed safe and approved by the FDA but is clearly not safe for an 8 year old!   I can name 50,000 products that are all “OK” for A D U L T S!  But so not safe for kids!

Nor appropriate!

Again, I plead… save the childhood!  Protect our kids! Decide to be a parent and not an enabler!

Let them be young and worry free and happy and secure and loved!

What do you think?  Does this anger you?  Am I out of line?

Please, I want to know!

 

Filed Under: Life Out There, Lifestyle, Parenting

Why I Now Love @KloutPerks and @Lot18

A week or so ago, I got a tweet from a user named @KloutPerks.  I see their tweets every once in a while and I see people talking about how wonderful they are and how much they enjoy the “perks” offered!

I got a notice from them once that my Klout score – a barometer for how well my tweets are reacted to on Twitter – was high enough to have earned a, well, perk! By the time I got the message, however, the offer had expired.

Telling myself there was probably a ton of fine print, I moved on.

And then I got another notice!  They told my that my Klout score had won me a $100 gift code to Lot18, a membership by invitation website for wine and epicurean products from producers at nice discounts.

I skeptically clicked the link.

A world of beautiful wines, olive oils, wine glasses, and so on, appeared!

I LOVE wine so I was very excited!

I quickly searched and found a 3 pack of elegant, Italian, Olive Oils and a set of 2 bottles of Brian Arden Syrah wine.  I paid $5.00 – what was left after the gift code -and sat back to wait on my products!

Within days I had the Olive Oils!  Perfectly wrapped, beautifully presented, and here.  And then today, not even a week later, I received the wine!

I am thrilled with this ‘gift’ and want everyone I know to follow @KloutPerks and @Lot18!  A wonderful partnership that makes a lot of tweeters very happy!

Want me to send you an invitation to Lot18?  Just leave a comment below and start getting exclusive deals for amazing wine and accessories!

Filed Under: Life Out There, Pay It Forward, Thank You

Graduation: A Walk to a New Beginning

I just talked to a reader of mine who will graduate from college this year.  She will be the first member of her family to do so.

How incredibly amazing is that?

The very first member of her family?

How proud her family must be!  I am proud of her!  Very!

Our conversation took me back to my college graduation and what it meant to me.

I was not the first to graduate from college in my family, but I probably was the biggest surprise.  I was a high school drop out who had gone through a program to get my high school diploma right before graduation. I did walk, but I was a stranger to the class and quickly got back to working.

I moved to Houston and I worked.  And worked.  And worked.

I had no plans for college and did not think I could even get in if I tried.  My grade point average was so low and my desire even lower.

I had a person enter my life in my early 20′s that said he could help me get into college despite my history.  By this time, I was tired of waiting tables and struggling to pay bills.  College seemed my only way to move forward in my life.

I filled out the paperwork, signed my name to school debt, and, with a letter to the Dean from a very esteemed Alum, was accepted into the University of Houston.

I was thrilled!

And I was ready!

For 5 years I worked, studied, met lifelong friends and learned lifelong lessons.  It was fun.  It was hard.  It was where I wanted to be.

I do not think anyone who knew me back at home really thought I would ever get a college degree.  Who could blame them?  I did not have a solid record!

But I did finish!  With a 3.24 GPA.  Earned while working for all but the last semester.

The pride I felt on graduation day still resonates with me today.  Dressed and in my cap and gown, a dress bought just for the occasion underneath, I beamed in photos that I look back upon.

I remember sitting in my folding plastic chair and looking up to see my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and dear friends looking down at me.  I waved frantically at them as I stood in line waiting for my name to be called.

When it was, the moment passes so quickly, but has lasted forever.  I switched my tassel, fought back tears, and waved at the ones who stood by me, despite my failures in the past.

Graduation.  An amazing celebration of an accomplishment that changes lives!  A walk to a new beginning.

So – to you Janie – I raise my glass!

Filed Under: Life Out There, Lifestyle
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