How to Raise Children with a Purpose

Lately I have been giving a lot of thought to how I am raising my children.  Not so much the teaching of good manners, being kind and tolerant to others (needed this Election season for sure), and the proper way to brush their teeth.  But to raise them to understand their purpose in life, their calling and their dreams.

Especially when I can not even define my own.

I was watching a sermon the other day about knowing and defending your dreams and living up to your purpose.  About how to Believe and reach for them.  How to pray the right way so that God can see your efforts and bring the right people in to help you achieve them.  It all sounds so…  ridiculous.

I don’t even know what my dreams are!  I am too concerned with paying my bills, having food in the house, making sure my kids are properly taken care.  I have toilets to clean, debt to crush me, a divorce to handle.

Dreams?  What are those? And my purpose?  Huh?

Once I had them.  I remember that.  I was young and foolish with limited responsibilities.  Things like, “I want to be a Cheerleader“. “I want to graduate from college” and “I want to have children” were all in there.  I achieved all of those.  And for the most part, they all lived up to the hype.

But now what?  What do I want now?  What am I trying to aim for – besides raising well rounded children? How do I reach deep down inside and find a dream that I have and pull it to the surface so that my kids can see me working towards it?  Because we all know that teaching by example is one of the best parenting methods out there.

Now I just want to make the bills, hug my kids, figure out the next step.  Little stuff.  Nothing Earth shattering or impressive, by any means.  The same wants and desires as everyone else.

But maybe that is my dream and my purpose now?  To raise my kids to see theirs.  Maybe my dream is to help my children achieve more than I did?  To accomplish what is in their heart without letting the other stuff come in and suppress it beyond recognition?

And no matter how large or small they seem, support them until they can define on their own what their dreams are. Even when I can now show them how I am doing it too.

In which case, I guess I just do it like anything else I do in motherhood.  Lift my chin, dig in my heels, say a little prayer that I don’t break my nose when I trip and fake it.

And, hopefully, by doing that, I will see my own in them and it will clarify my purpose.

One can only hope.

Find more Motherhood Posts at My Recent Writings

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  • http://twitter.com/mbm218 Mary Elderton

    This struck a real chord with me. You are so right. Raise your children. Help them to collect things–even He-man toys or comic books. Collecting is an exercise is self-discipline, delayed gratification, building something over time. Feed their interests whatever they are. Feeding their interests by buying books, going to museums, watching documentaries (whatever) demonstrates that their interests are important, teaches them how to learn, and reinforces self-confidence. Give them music–whole dissertations have been written about good that comes from kids learning an instrument or learning to sing or dance. Teach them science. The real world and the way it really works is a marvel. Teach them to care–about others, about the world. Then put them out into the world to be good people. One of mine is a doctor. One is a Chemist, another a mechanic. Another teaches piano. A couple are stay-at-home moms. All are good people. If someone has big dreams or lofty goals, by all means I hope they pursue those with energy. I have just come to question how it is we define “lofty goals.” I think putting good people into the world is a wonderful thing—maybe the most important thing.

    I have tears in my eyes. Thank you for letting me have a small rant :)