I have really good kids and am extremely blessed. They play well together – only on Thursdays at 11:12am, however – they love each other – as long as they all have new toys – and they listen to me and do all I ask with respect – fantasy parenting is too a real sport!
Seriously though, they make me really happy and I do feel like a very lucky mom!
But there is this one little, tiny, teensy, itty-bitty issue that is driving me up the wall and causing me use search terms like “Military School for Toddlers” and “Exorcism 101″ on Google.
My toddler is a tyrant.
Now, I know that the saying is that kids go through the terrible twos. But, I am sorry, the ‘terrible twos’ in this house were a walk on the beach with a Passion Fruit Margarita delivered by a tan pool boy during a free vacation with a built in Nanny compared to the unleashed craziness of the threes!
And it has been this way with all three of my children so I know what I am talking about.
Though I did not really see it coming.
I am a slow learner.
But I digress.
What has happened to my beautiful, funny, sweet, loving, favorite thing is to moon her sisters, Princess Megan is beyond me. She casts that persona 27% of the day in order to allow the cast of Gremlins to come out.
Here are the symptoms of the Three Year Old Tyrant:
1) Crying/ screaming/ whining – loudly
2) For anything that she wants/ has/ saw/ thought about
3) That is in the house/ on TV/ in the yard/ possibly at the neighbors
4) And no amount of consoling/ explaining/ begging/ bartering seems to be able to get her to stop.
Do you recognize that child? Do they live with you too?
And I am – seriously, all kidding aside – at a loss by the end of the day as to how to deal with her.
Case in point. Last night I invited some dear friends and their beautiful princess daughters over for blue cupcakes and Cinderella on Blu-Ray. I had let Megan take a nap so that she could be up past her bedtime without an attitude.
She seemed OK with the crowd of kids – despite the fact that they all had something she wanted – and played accordingly as the kids ignored the movie and ran through the house, princess gowns swooshing behind them. I snapped photos and talked to the moms and felt really blessed to have children that love to play well with others and started to relax.
At one point I was talking to one of the moms and another mom saw Megan swat a little boy – the resident prince – with her wand. I heard her say, “Megan, we do not hit!”
Interjection: I am allllllll OK with other people correcting my kids! I need all the help I can get and you would not be in my house and my friend if I did not think you were a good person and mean well. Just clearing that up for the “That mom should not have said anything” crowd.
Well, Megan – being three, tired, overwhelmed and… three – did not take kindly to being told not to wallop another child with a deadly weapon, raised said weapon – in slow motion, as you other mothers can relate to – and landed the top of it square
Nope, not kidding, I type – mortified. My three year old smacked my friend in total anger, embarrassment and shame.
Funny, the same emotions flooded me at that moment too.
The mom jumped, mouth agape in shock that Snow White had a mean streak. I stood up, grabbed the toddler and her tiara and placed her firmly in time out. For an undisclosed amount of time.
I apologized profusely to the mom, took 17 1/2 deep breaths and continued the party.
A little while later, when my shock has subsided, I retrieved Megan from time out – where she dutifully sat – and made her apologize to the mom.
As the party winded down and I put my girls to bed, I marveled at how beautiful, sweet, and precious she is. And I am glad for that and understand that this three stage will not last long.
But while I am in the midst of it, I am going to need some chocolate, some patience and a forum to complain. Because parenting can be very tough when the toddler is the tyrant.
Find more Motherhood Posts at My Recent Writings